


The Unofficial Journal of Dean Winchester

by BlueWonder



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Pseudonyms, Slow Build, so many relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-01-14 12:39:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 56,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1266922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueWonder/pseuds/BlueWonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In order to complete his final psychology assignment, Dean Winchester decides to explore anonymity and how it affects people’s relationships with one other. Or at least that's the official title for his project.</p><p>Dean creates a journal that goes around Lawrence High. Anyone can write in it. And anything can be written in it. Absolutely anything.</p><p>There are only four rules.</p><p>1. You can't lose it.<br/>2. You can't be stupid about it.<br/>3. You can't cross anything out.<br/>4. You can't use your real name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Week 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Congrats, you've been assimilated into the Journal. Resistance is futile.  
> So get your asses in gear and start writing.

**Entry 1**

**Title:** Get Your Asses In Gear!

**By:** Sex on Wheels

Yo! You just picked up “The Journal.” Great title; I know (Hey, at least not The Notebook. I could have made this so much worse.). So here’s the deal, now that you picked up The Journal, you’ve become a part of it. Calm the fuck down, it’s not a huge commitment. Just hear me out. The Journal is a place for you to write whatever the hell you want to; whether it’s venting, your conquests, even a grocery list.

But here’s the catch, you have to do it anonymously.

(Think less Chamber of Secrets, more Anne Frank.)

Here are your rules. Read them or I’ll kill you through the page (Now you can think Chamber of Secrets):

Rule 1: You CANNOT lose this journal. It’s for a grade in my psych class this year and I cannot fail. I’m so close to getting out of here. Return this to Room 247 by seven P.M. every Friday. I’ll know if you don’t.

Rule 2: Do not use your name. Use a pen name and stick with it. With all the crap that’s bound to get written in here, someone’s gonna get suspended if it ever gets found. I’ve got Ms. Mills to back me, but I can’t promise safety from Principal Naomi or Dean Mosely. **Write in here at your own risk.**

Rule 3: Don’t be stupid. Seriously, it’ll only lead to loads of shit for you _and_ for me if this gets out in the open. Besides, do you really want all the people you talk about coming after you? I thought not.

Rule 4: No matter how fucked up, how awful the shit storm, you may not cross anything out. ANYTHING. Yours truly is the only one who can do that and it will only happen if I think it’s necessary. Really, it won’t be happening.

One last thing, the Journal will be transported through the following manner (You mess this up, I will find your ass and kick it to next Tuesday): There are white stickers all over the campus with “JDZ” written on them. These are The Journal Drop Zones. You must drop The Journal there and only there. If you find it anywhere else, write down where you found it and I’ll take care of it. And if anyone asks what the stickers are, say they’re for a new band or something and make it up. Eventually students will catch on to what they are, but keep faking it in front of teachers.

That’s about it. Congrats, you've been assimilated into the Journal. Resistance is futile.

So get your asses in gear and start writing.

Sex on Wheels

* * *

**Entry 2**

**Title:** Let the Gossip Begin

**By:** Gumby Girl

Fantastic idea, Sex on Wheels! Though seriously, the name? Why is it so painfully obvious that you’re a guy? But anyways, finally, a gossip…center thingy! Not that I’m not already the center of gossip. But still! I’ll get right down to it. The gossip. Oh the glorious gossip.

Summer break ups and hook ups and the details.

Dean and Cassie. They were together for about two months. But then something completely blew up there and now Dean is officially open for business. Anyone know what happened there?  Apparently she did the breaking, but she’s not talking to _anyone_ about it! And Dean is…well, you know Dean.

Meg has been going out with this guy named Lucifer since the beginning of June. Apparently he’s a freshman in college and he goes to KU. But no one’s saying anything else. She's weirdly quiet about the whole thing and Meg is always shouting about her love life so something big must be happening there. I'll let you know if I can get anything else.

Gordon and Abaddon have been together since about a few weeks ago. Gordon’s been trying to get into her pants for over a year and she finally said yes. They’re constantly pissed off with each other, but he must be good because she hasn’t dumped him.

And I’m pretty sure Balthazar is still in love with himself…Or his hand at least.

Onto other news:

Oh, and I finally heard why Crowley came to Lawrence High last year. Apparently he fucked one of his students at the last place he taught. Someone caught wind of it and he was fired! Her parents sued him and everything for harassment. Just EW! How could anyone ever want to deal with him, especially someone our age? GROSS GROSS GROSS!!!! And I can totally see it in his eyes. He just has this way of looking at me that makes me want to take a shower. Ugh, I’m like, shuddering right now at the thought of him. He’s just that gross!

And did you hear? Alastair got suspended for having a bag of pot! They found it stuffed in his shorts during the locker checks this morning. How stupid can you be to bring pot on the first fucking day of school?! He’s going to be out for the next couple of days (If not weeks) and he’ll probably be banned from the first football game as well. Damn, he was one of the only good players on our team. There went any chance of winning the first game! At least the cheerleading squad will be amazing. As always.

But I bet someone ratted him out. Only reason someone would check today.

Anyways, I’ll pass this off for now, but expect me! I’ll be back!

Gumby Girl

* * *

**Entry 3**

**Title:** A Little Advice

**By:** Mr. Comatose

Though I will admit that this is a creative manner in which to complete your psychology assignment, I must say that this is the wrong manner in which to go about it. It is undoubted that you will eventually be discovered and then will be in serious trouble. But the likelihood is that we will all discover the identities of the other writers before this come to pass. There will be arguments and discrepancies over what is written and what is truly meant. This is more trouble than it’s worth. The teachers will eventually hear the rumors and the whispers. They aren’t stupid, you know.

For example, Gumby Girl’s entry about Mr. Crowley is completely false. Such an accusation could get you in extreme trouble as can be qualified as libel. If The Journal is uncovered by the teachers, then you will be the one to receive the blame, Sex on Wheels.

Stop this. Now. Before you or anyone else gets hurt.

Mr. Comatose

PS: You made an error in your first entry. Please fix it.

Anonymous [uh-non-uh-muhs]  
Adjective  
\- Without any name acknowledged, as that of author, contributor, or the like

Pseudonymous [soo-don-uh-muhs]  
Adjective  
\- Writing or written under a false name

* * *

**Entry 4**

**Title:** Whoa Man

**By:** Texas Ranger

Slow down there, Mr. Comatose! You raise some good points and we acknowledge them, but if you don’t want to do this then you don’t have to! So if you’re so inclined to butt out, please do so.

Anyways, the part about Mr. Crowley, Comatose was right about that. And Gumby Girl, wow, do you write a lot. But make sure you check your sources, alright? There, everybody’s happy. No need to get so uptight about it.

Now, some serious business. Lunch today was so freaking awful! Isn’t the menu absolutely terrible?! Meatloaf, seriously?! That’s something they serve in comic books and even then it’s horrible! I think someone should complain to the principle about all this crap they’re feeding us. I’m gonna die of starvation if they keep this up!

Texas Ranger

* * *

**Entry 5**

**Title:** Should I be worried?

**By:** Moose

This just reeks of my brother. And I guess he’d be kinda disappointed if I didn’t at least write _something_ down in here, so here I go. I can’t believe I’m buying into something like this. I bet you’ll be hearing from him very soon.

Quick question though. Is the food really that bad? I’m a freshman and well, if I’m going to be stuck here for the next four years, I’ve got to know what to be prepared for.

Moose

* * *

**Entry 6**

**Title:** Social suicide by overprotective parents

**By:** The Rebellious One

Hello, I guess. I don’t know, no one really seems to be introducing themselves. Anyways, Sex on Wheels, really? I’m agreement with Gumby on this one. The name is just a bit…much. Your ego okay?

Gumby, if anyone ratted Alastair out, it was Dean. After all the shit that went down between them last semester, it wouldn't be any surprise if Dean was looking for a bit of revenge. I really wouldn't blame the guy.

Anyways, Moose. Don’t worry, the food isn’t usually this bad. We’ve got a new food provider this year so they’re still working out the kinks. It should be fine within the next week or two. Until then, watch out for the meatloaf.

So…I’m just gonna go ahead and start venting. Skip if you’d like, but I’m seriously about to go postal and kill my family. So I got in a little trouble this summer. That doesn’t give them the right to take away everything from me! I don’t think they understand how much I just really needed to blow off some steam. So I smoked a joint, big whoop. Half the school has done it already. I was at a rave and my friends were there to take care of me so it wasn’t like I was going to keel over and die! I’m just doing what a natural teenager would do and I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions, even if they don’t approve!

God, my brother's done hella worse and they don't give a fuck about what he does. Why the hell do they just care about what shit I do?!

Any advice on how to get the parents off my ass?

Rebellious

* * *

 

**Entry 7**

**Title:** Look what I found!

**By:** Gumby Girl

Gonna jump right into the thick of it.

Comatose, well sorry. It’s gossip. Not all of it is true. I just told you what I heard, I didn’t say whether it was true or not. That’s why I reached out here, so I could get a solid answer. See, no bad intentions, just searching for the truth. And seriously, this is so great. I should have thought of this years ago. How can you bash it?! This is not bash-worthy!!! You need to chill. Go take a walk, read a book. Yoga helps me personally. But really, get the stick out of your ass before you come back.

Rebellious, been there. Well, mine was junior prom last year with liquor, but still. Give it some time and they’ll eventually come around. Bonus points in their eyes for kissing ass. I made mine a full three-course dinner. Did the trick.

In other news, I heard that Lisa was made captain of the cheerleading squad! I’m so pissed that I didn’t get it, but congrats Lisa, you totally deserve it! You better not keep us too late like half the practices last year! God, I remember when Hester kept us going in the rain for two hours. Half the squad ended up with the flu after that. How did she not get fired?

And I swear, if I have to hear Abaddon talk about screwing Gordon one more time, I’m gonna scream. It’s as simple as that. All of gym and she won’t shut up about it. I don’t give a shit about what size his dick is! Keep it to yourself! I’m about ready to fucking kill her.

I’m off to return this to room 247 since it’s about 6:45 and a Friday. Woohoo! Weekend! But seriously, I wonder if I’ll meet the mysterious Sex on Wheels there, but then that’d ruin half the fun of trying to figure out who he is. I’ll guess I’ll just have to see when I get there.

See you on Monday, Journal.

Gumby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a note: Most of these were inspired by actual conversations had at my high school.  
> Leave me a note and see if you can guess who everyone is.


	2. Week 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you hear a rumor about me in the next few days, you can bet she started it. It’s probably also true though. What can I say?  
> I like bragging about the shit I do.  
> All in all, senior year is already Hell and I’m loving every minute of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some warnings on homophobia in this chapter.  
> Also, if you would like me to tell whether your guesses on characters are right, please let me know.

**Entry 8**

**Title:** Well look what the cat dragged in

 **By:** Sex on Wheels

This is your ever present ruler, Sex on Wheels. And I will have you know that yes I am male, and yes I am single. So ladies, give me a call. I’d give you my number, but that would defeat the whole purpose of this. And besides, a guy has to have a little mystery to his game.

Guys, excellent work last week. I can hear the graduation bells from here.

Mr. Comatose, or should I call you Mister Spock because you certainly act like a Vulcan. Really? I’ve gotten teacher backing and I’m not interested in your pretentious writing and vocabulary so take it and go. Kay? I’m having a really shitty day so far and this certainly did not help my mood. So Gumby Girl got one thing wrong, who the fuck cares! We’re human! We make mistakes! And (Walker) Texas Ranger fixed it so why the shit storm?

Rebellious, if you live up to your name, you could always just sneak out. The world always did need a few more ninjas. But just give it time, it’ll blow over in no time. Until then, be cautious. And next time, don’t get caught.

I’m off to dump this somewhere.

Sex on Wheels

* * *

**Entry 9**

**Title:** The Doctor is In!

 **By:** Doctor Badass

And the doctor is in! Had to come and check out what the hell was going on when I found the intro on this thing. Rad as fuck, Sex on Wheels. And I’m definitely digging the name unlike the rest of these lame compadres.

Dudes, I got nothing else to say other than comp prog is so damn easy. I’ll be hacking the main frame of the school by tomorrow. I mean, the security on the system is so bad that I could do this in my sleep. Ranger, what do you want for lunch next week?

I’m taking orders.

Doctor Badass

* * *

**Entry 10**

**Title:** What is the point in this

 **By:** Lilith

I know we’re supposed to use aliases. But I don’t really care what all of you think of me, so I’ll be using my real name on here. How’s that for experimental, Mr. Sex on Wheels? Getting enough data for this? And well, I guess I’m better than these prudes because your name sounds just fine on my tongue. Want to come by my locker after school today? I’d love to see if you really live up to that name. And I’d be more than happy to…provide more data.

But anyways, Abaddon has fucked Gordon behind the bleachers twice this week and it’s not even Tuesday yet. Dean Winchester if flaunting his singledom to every woman on the planet, not that I wouldn’t tap that (I mean, have you seen those eyes?). Crowley is a supreme asshole and seems to think his classroom is Hell. Whoever made him king was dropping acid.

And Lisa and her pom poms are unbearable as always. She’s flouncing around like an airhead as usual and I’m pretty sure she’ll hate me now because I’ve insulted little old her. Oh such sorrow. I’m weeping. If you hear a rumor about me in the next few days, you can bet she started it. It’s probably also true though. What can I say?

I like bragging about the shit I do.

All in all, senior year is already Hell and I’m loving every minute of it.

Lilith

* * *

**Entry 11**

**Title:** Stuck in the Quagmire of Parental Stigmas

 **By:** The Rebellious One

Thanks for the suggestions guys, but the brothers are still being uncompromising dicks. I mean, I tried Gumby’s advice and made them pie and everything! I make the best damn pie out there! Ugh. I think I’m just gonna have to stick it out. They’re doing that thing where I’m completely grounded, but they won’t say that I’m grounded so it just kinda simmers. Like, what is the fucking point of that?! All it does is piss me off and prove that my brothers are cowards!

Thanks to those with advice, though. I’ve got a couple friends sneaking me out on Friday to go to a couple underground scenes. So I won’t go too crazy. But my all this proves is that my family consists of assholes and I can’t wait to graduate next year so I can leave.

Doctor Badass, you have to throw in tater tots somewhere. Doesn’t matter when, just give them! Those things are heaven!

Rebellious

* * *

**Entry 12**

**Title:** L is for Lesbian

 **By:** Gumby Girl

Hello, Wednesday. Lovely start to my day, finding this. I love finding this and catching up on all the things you guys are doing. Wheels (because I refuse to mention the first part of your name), the only mystery left is how you let your ego get so big. Kidding. Rebellious, sorry it didn’t work out. Hope you get free soon!

So there is this one thing I’ve been dying to tell you guys. I heard it on Sunday from a friend and this is one of the biggest things. There’s this girl who just moved here this year. She’s just a junior and she doesn’t do anything extraordinary, but you’re about to hear about her because she’ll be making some…interesting waves in Lawrence. She asked out Gilda from theater. She asked out a girl.

A GIRL.

Guys, she’s a LESBIAN! What the fuck?! I mean, how could a girl even like that? It’s just wrong. So…wrong. I can’t even imagine it. It goes against the Church and the Bible and just the natural order of things and WTF?!

And the worst part is that, guys, we share a locker room with her! Like, she can watch us change and everything and what if she’s perving on us?! This is not okay! What if she gets a crush on one of us?! I mean, I’m a straight and I’m not okay with this. We need to do something about this. Now.

Gumby

* * *

**Entry 13**

**Title:** The fuck is wrong with people

 **By:** Bite me

That’s just nasty. I’m sorry, girl on girl is good for a show, but full time is just a bit much. Ugh. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised when she starts showing up in the lockers. Someone’s gotta teach the dyke the natural order to things. She’s the one who brought this on herself. She’s the one who chose to like pussy.

Bite Me

* * *

**Entry 14**

**Title:** The stupidity of the human mind astounds me

 **By:** The Third Man

Honestly, you all are worse than Celine Dion and that’s saying something. Does it really matter if the girl likes kissing girl? I mean, just yesterday I was kissing girl and boy (At the same time no less). So sue me, I’m bisexual. It is really a crime to like someone of the same gender? It doesn’t mean that I’m going to fall in love with everyone I see, just as it doesn’t mean that she will fall in love with every single girl she sees because she’s a lesbian.

Gumby Girl, you’re homophobic and it’s really quite unattractive. I doubt that she would stare at someone as ugly as you. Go learn and put something in that diminutive airhead of yours. And while you’re at it, clean out those gross stereotypes.

Bite Me. You are an asshole. That’s all. I can’t even begin to tell you how disgusting you are.

But anyways, her name is Charlie Bradbury. And she’s a redhead. So why don’t you change that title around a little bit, Gumby Girl? It might reflect on yourself just a little better. L is for Lover. And quite a good one at that if the rumors are to be believed. Gilda certainly thinks so.

Hmmm. I always did fancy redheads.

The Third Man

* * *

**Entry 15**

**Title:** Protecting what should not be defenseless

 **By:** The Rebellious One

And let’s continue with that thought, not the sick allusion to redheads, the one about defending Charlie. It wasn’t her “choice” to like girls. That was how she was made and if we are made in God’s image, then she was made perfectly. Charlie is perfect so you need to stop. She can’t just turn it off because there is nothing to turn off. And there is nothing wrong with her! She’s just like you and me, except she happens to like someone of the same gender. Who the fuck cares?!

It shouldn’t be you. It’s her life and it’s her business, not ours! I swear to God, you touch her and I will personally come and find you and hunt you down.

Rebellious

* * *

**Entry 16**

**Title:** Cool your jets

 **By:** Texas Ranger

Why don’t we all just calm down? Alright? Rebellious made a good point in her entry. This isn’t our business. This is Charlie’s business. I’ve met her actually and she’s a very sweet gal so please be kind. Don’t forget that she’s a person, not an idea.

And Doctor Badass, I happen to love fried chicken.

(Walker) Texas Ranger

* * *

**Entry 17**

**Title:** Is this a prologue?

 **By:** Carver Edlund

Well, this wasn’t what I was expecting when I picked up this poor little notebook (Wheels, I’ll let you know that I found it in the boy’s locker room, not at a JDZ sticker.). But wow. I like it. This has lots of promise. Lots of great ideas in here. Lots of notable characters and already the controversy and this is what, week 2?! This is great, Sex on Wheels! Aw man, someone should send this to a publisher. Real golden idea here.

Hey, so I’m an aspiring writer and would it be cool if I bounced story ideas off you guys, gave you a bit of a teaser or something and then see what happens? They’d probably be a paragraph or two long, nothing much.

Carver

* * *

**Entry 18**

**Title:** Strike One

 **By:** Mr. Comatose

I warned that this would be a bad idea, Sex on Wheels. Only two hours ago, Charlie Bradbury stumbled into one of my classes, late because she was being harassed due to her sexual orientation. Luckily, a teacher stepped in before it could become physical, but she is still being relentlessly bullied for it and that is a million miles from okay.

This is because this _project_ is propagating the information that she’s a lesbian. Your damn journal is at fault! Thought I will admit that it’s not just you, Sex on Wheels. Gumby Girl, you should be ashamed of what is happening to this girl because of you spreading this rumor around. You and your incessant gossiping are going to be the bane of her existence from now on. I hope you’re satisfied.

You’ve now made it clear to anyone in this school of a different sexual orientation that they will be cruelly treated like this. You made an example of Charlie Bradbury and you destroyed her and any chance at normalcy in this school.

There are no words for how blindingly furious I am with you.

But it seems like you have been making a noble effort to defend her, so I’ll do this; three strikes and I send this straight to Principal Naomi. You don’t deserve this, but I want to give you the chance to make up for the damage you caused. Fix it. Or I will end this.

This is strike number one.

Mr. Comatose

And I see you still haven’t fixed your error in the first entry.

* * *

**Entry 19**

**Title:** Lunch is served

 **By:** Doctor Badass

So, the lunch menu for next week now reads.

 _Monday_ : Fried chicken and mashed potatoes

 _Tuesday_ : Pasta marinara

 _Wednesday_ : Hamburgers and tater tots

 _Thursday_ : Teriyaki chicken and fried rice

 _Friday_ : Nachos

Well, I adlibbed the rest because you uncooperative idiots didn’t send me enough, but I got rid of the meatloaf at least. Any requests for next week? The menu is in our hands now.

Btw: Ya’ll are sick for what you’re saying about Charlie. She’s a fucking badass girl and I will use my ninja skills on anyone who tries to harm her. Got it?

Doctor Badass

* * *

**Entry 20**

**Title:** Fanfiction fails

 **By:** Captain of The Ship

Oh. My. God. This is better than fanfiction! Eeek! Mr. Comatose and Sex on Wheels, your unresolved sexual tension is amazing! I bet you know who each other are. I bet this is one giant elaborate ploy to hide your love! Oh. My. God! But what about Lillith?! The plot thickens! Is Mr. Comatose going to have to battle her for the hand of Sex on Wheels?! Or will Lillith bend beneath the weight of true love?!  I mean, it’s obviously true love! It always starts this way, with one hating the other and then gradually they learn to love each other until the dramatic reunion in the rain and then full romance blooms! Shipping name though, definitely would have to be Coma on Wheels.

And Rebellious sticking up for Charlie! This is amazing! I could just die! Will she ever admit to her true feelings, or will the society’s cruel taunting at the hands of Gumby Girl beat her down?! And will she ever get the chance to extract her vengeance on Bite Me and Gumby Girl for damaging the reputation of the girl she loves?! AH! THE TENSION! I will ship the Rebellious Charlie to the end of my days!

Oh…and hi.

Captain of The Ship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I've gotten a couple notes on the subject of people wanting to start a journal like this at their own schools. Do not. Here is why:  
> 1\. This is dangerous. This will lead to fights and to arguments. We had someone at my school create a confessions page on facebook this year. He was issued multiple death threats and got expelled when they discovered who he was.  
> 2\. A journal left by itself would get picked up by a teacher almost immediately and then get stopped almost immediately.  
> 3\. It would be nearly impossible to get a steady reading and writing on this unless you knew what you were looking for.  
> 4\. Rain (Especially during the winter) and wind would destroy it in an instant.  
> 5\. People would take the journal and not return it for days because they would be catching up on reading it or they would forget. Or it would get lost.  
> I'm suspending some elements of reality with this story. It would be almost impossible to get this functioning in the real world. I say don't create it because it's more trouble than it's worth. It's not a good idea.


	3. Week 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don’t do this usually.  
> i don’t play the victim. i don’t like playing the victim. it seems pointless and self-pitying and weak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for suicidal thoughts.

**Entry 21**

**Title:** Your Lord Speaks

 **By:** Sex on Wheels

Dear Charlie,

I don’t know if you’re reading this. In some ways I hope that you aren’t so you can’t see some of the narrow minded things being said here. Some people are fucking idiots. But hey, that’s what anonymity does to them apparently. In some ways I hope you are reading this so you can see all the people defending you. That being said, I wish you luck. This school can be as tough as nails to live in, but there are some of us which are genuinely nice. And know that we’ll support you.

_Love,_

Sex on Wheels

Moving on, I am…not exactly sure what to make of the last entry, but I can assure you Captain of The Ship, there is no “unresolved sexual tension” between me and Mr. Comatose. There is no sexual tension period. I don’t even really like the guy at the moment. He’s trying to get me in trouble for my psych project. He’s like the Joker to my Batman. I am so confused. How did this happen? What the hell is a shipping name? Why me and Mr. Comatose? This is so weird.

I’m so confused.

Comatose, duly noted. I think this is good actually. It will help keep people in line and prevent more crazy shit from happening. But dude, seriously, I think you’re Spock. When he blows, he _blows_ , and that was…that was intense. You, my Vulcan friend, are in need of some meditation.

Carver, go ahead. Anything goes here. And I gotta admit, bit intrigued. I have no idea what crazy shit you’re gonna drop.

Doctor Badass, bacon cheeseburgers please! Those things are Heaven. Mmmm.

Sex on Wheels

* * *

**Entry 22**

**Title:** Chapter 1

 **By:** Carver Edlund

A woman once fell in love with a robot.

And the robot fell in love with her.

When the robot’s makers discovered that it had somehow gained emotions, they tried to take it back so they could fix it. They wanted to find the source of the malfunction, the evolution and get rid of it. They couldn’t afford robots gaining sentience after all.

However, the woman ran with the robot to the ocean, terrified that they would change it and it would no longer love her. She couldn’t bear the thought. Anything was better than that. So she tried to sink him to the bottom of the ocean, where they would never find him. Throwing him overboard, she screamed, “You’re waterproof! You’ll survive!”

Only, the robot grabbed her and drowned her with him.

Carver

* * *

**Entry 23**

**Title:** Helpless

 **By:** Moose

Carver, that was awesome! I mean, that was really legitimately cool. I mean, it happened so fast so I was just kinda thrown around the entire time, but it didn’t end how I thought it would at all. Just good writing all in all!

So, my brother’s in a bit of a funk today and I just don’t know what’s wrong or how to cheer him up. I mean, he’s completely closed himself off from me and his friends don’t know what’s wrong either. He’s never been the most open of people, but this is ridiculous. Something is eating him alive and he won’t stop being an idiot long enough to admit that he needs help!

I just…how do I help? He doesn’t even want pie (Rebellious, make me some for him?). He LOVES pie. He won’t talk to me and our dad is useless as usual. Fuck him. Ugh. I don’t know what to do.

Moose

PS: Doctor Badass, could you put some salad somewhere in there? You know, something healthy.

* * *

**Entry 24**

**Title:** From One Badass Hacker to the Other

 **By:** The Queen of Moondor

What’s up, bitches? The Queen of Moondor has arrived and is here to liven up this boring ass party. Honestly, all you guys are doing is talking about how horrible everyone else is. Don’t you have anything a little more…I don’t know…productive to do? Seriously, all you’re showing Sex on Wheels is how fucked up anonymity makes people. Why not give him a bit of good data, eh?

*Sigh* If only Uhura could see this. How horrified with you all she would be.

Oh and Doctor Badass, the administration seems to think I’m you because I got the strangest of emails from them today. Here’s a lovely little snippet for you:

_If you changed the menu for the cafeteria lunches during this week, we are telling you to stop. There will be serious consequences if you continue to hack the school. If you do not stop, this could result in suspension and eventually expulsion._

Looks like my record is catching up with me. *Sigh* I would tell you to stop, but I can already tell you won’t (Usually I wouldn’t either), so just don’t get caught, Doctor Badass. I can tell you how bad that is. And since I’m taking your blame might as well request some tacos. Those tacos better be the best damn tacos I have ever tasted by the way.

The Queen of Moondor

* * *

**Entry 25**

**Title:** What is a Vulcan?

 **By:** Mr. Comatose

Captain of the Ship, I must also admit that I’m quite confused. What is a shipping name and why do I have unresolved sexual tension with Sex on Wheels? What have we done? Apparently less than I thought because apparently he doesn’t like me. I’m wounded; I thought this was the start to a beautiful relationship, Sex on Wheels.

Though I’m glad that you see it my way. This system will help to limit the “crazy shit” as you so… eloquently stated and I would be only too happy to monitor it. Though I’d encourage anyone to call out what they feel is unacceptable.

However, there is one thing that concerns me, Sex on Wheels. I don’t understand that reference. What is a Vulcan? Who is Spock? Are we really that alike? All these terms are so confusing.

Mr. Comatose

* * *

**Entry 26**

**Title:** A recap of the weekend

 **By:** Gumby Girl

Well, pardon me for asserting an opinion. You all don’t have to have your little pep rally against me. I can see that I messed up. I just don’t think it’s right is all. You can have your opinion and I can have mine. And I’m not the only one, so why don’t you mention Bite Me too?!

Though I do agree with you on one thing, Captain of The Ship? Whaaaaaa? I’m so confused. What romance am I standing in the way of?

Anyways, Alastair is back. And he’s being an ass about the entire thing, but he’s back just in time for the game this week! And it looks like they’re going to let him play! Whoo! Now we have a fighting chance because without him, our team is complete shit. Honestly, it’s a wonder our team didn’t just quit already.

But come see the cheerleaders at the game, this Friday! We’ve got an awesome new routine and new outfits and everything! We’re gonna be ass kicking and awesome! And Lisa’s got a great new routine for us!

Two more things. One, Meg got arrested this weekend. She was doing something with her new bf and the cops got them. She came to school with a black eye and everything! Anyone know what happened there?! I hear there were drugs and booze involved, but that sounds about like anything involving Meg these days.

Oh, and a final word of gossip that I caught. Apparently they’re hunting for whoever changed the menu this week. They thought it was someone else, apparently the Queen of Moondor, but it wasn’t. So I don’t know how far into the week we’ll get without them changing it back. Careful, Doctor Badass! Oh, and could you put smoothies in when you get the chance? Totally in agreement with Moose about the healthy food. I need to stay fit for cheerleading!

Gumby

* * *

**Entry 27**

**Title:** Some women need to get their lives together

 **By:** The Third Man

Gumby Girl, I thought we’d discussed your little homophobic problem. I mean, yes you do have your right to your opinion, but you don’t when it tramples on the health and safety of someone else. And that includes me. So fuck you. I guess the lesson didn’t take. Well, that’s alright. I guess intelligence isn’t for everyone.

Now the issue with Meg. She was caught with Lucifer on Saturday at a party with his…less civilized associates. She was completely trashed AND high. Lucifer was completely using her. It was only going to be a few minutes before he started yanking her clothes off or she started giving a strip tease.

The cops crashed the party and she was arrested. At the station, they cops kindly called her parents and now she is forbidden from ever seeing Lucifer again. Like that’ll last long. Meg is a bit of a…loose cannon, but she’s really…she’s really…hell I can’t even think of a redeeming factor to her.

The girl’s a demon.

The Third Man

* * *

**entry does it even fucking matter at this point**

**title:** a note from the observance of a drifter

 **by:** esau’s legacy

i’ve never understood why people say that i’m unobservant, that i’m stupid. i’m not even that blond (that was a joke). perhaps i’m not that wise in school smarts, but who really needs to know what the square root of pi is anyways? it’s not school smarts that help you survive in life. those are just hoops we’re required to jump through while we’re here. they don’t matter. what really matters in the end is your eyes. what you notice is what you can work with, what you can actually use. school doesn’t show you how to pick apart a lie and a back story until all that’s left is person. school doesn’t teach you how to notice things.

i notice so much more than they realize. it’s hard not to notice the little things now, the disapproving appraising looks that people give me as i walk through the halls because they heard something, the barely there eyes of my father because he looks at me and sees someone else, those sad eyes of my brother because i fucked up again.

i don’t do this usually.

i don’t play the victim. i don’t _like_ playing the victim. it seems pointless and self-pitying and weak. so fucking weak. i don’t let myself do this because if i start pitying myself, then i’ll never stop. i’ll never stop looking at the way my dad looks at my brother and glazes past me like i’m not there. most days it’s easy to pretend like it’s not happening, like i’m not just the son that’s there, that’s barely passing his classes. most days i can smother it. most days i can smother the urges for another hit, another drink.

but, i can’t keep ignoring it. it’s just time to face facts. i’m a disappointment. i’m a failure. and nothing will ever change that. my dad just isn’t wasting his time on me anymore. he’s found the one among the family that’s gonna get out of here. and i’m just not him.

sometimes i like to imagine what would have happened if i hadn’t been born, that age old question of would the world be better off without me. i always wanted to know, like that one guy from it’s a wonderful life. maybe my family wouldn’t have paid for my mistakes. maybe they’d be happier. maybe they’d be whole.

but in the end, i guess it really doesn’t matter. i guess i don’t really want that. i’d be too scared to find out if they were really better off with me.

i would be too scared that i would take one look at them and say, “shoot me. they shoot horses, don’t they?”

esau’s legacy

* * *

**Entry 29**

**Title:** The biggest what in the history of whats

 **By:** Knife Collection

Well, I was prepared to take this whole thing by storm, but apparently that’s not going to happen. esau’s legacy, are you alright? I mean, I know this must sound strange coming from someone you don’t even know and it’s hardly appropriate following what you’ve said, but can I help somehow? Can I do something? Would you like someone to talk to? Ugh, some help please? I’m out of my depth here and I’m not sure what to say. And what do you say to that?!

I think I may just sign off because I have no idea what to say now.

Knife Collection

* * *

**Entry 30**

**Title:** Why am I helping someone else?

 **By:** Lilith

Well, wasn’t that just a lovely look into the depths of a tortured soul? I’m positively reveling in the misfortune. I’m just going to call you Esau because your name is much too pretentious to write out all the time. Really, how biblical are you trying to be?

Esau, you’re going to spend your entire life disappointing people. You always will. Sorry if that’s not a comforting thought, but that’s how it is with everyone. I’m a realist, not an optimist. You can’t make everyone happy. You just have to suck it up and spit in their eyes when they try to look at you bad because otherwise you’re going to get eaten alive.

I mean, my first boyfriend Adam dumped me for some slut named Eve. I caught them both in bed and after that it was a matter of him grabbing his pants and running away while shouting that he was through with me. Well, he no longer goes here now. Neither does she. I did what I wanted, now I’m happy and screw whoever tries to say otherwise. You only live one so why not enjoy the ride because we’re all headed to Hell in the end.

Fuck what people say. You’ve got to do whatever the fuck makes you feel best because otherwise you’ll spend the rest of your life trying to help others with their shit and you’ll end up miserable.

And why the fuck do I have to bend beneath true love? Can’t they just get a ladder and climb over me? I never did mind a little bad luck.

Lilith

* * *

**Entry 31**

**Title:** Empathy via the written word

 **By:** The Rebellious One

Well, looks like I missed a lot. Alright, so an explanation for all those who don’t speak fandom. A ship is a pair someone wants to end up together…romantically. So Captain of The Ship wants Mr. Comatose and Sex on Wheels to fall in love and she wants me and Charlie to fall in love. Shipping names are a combination of names usually that designate which pair they want. Hence, Coma on Wheels and The Rebellious Charlie. Usually people don’t ship REAL PEOPLE though! Seriously, that’s just kinda weird and no. Please. Stop.

Carver, that was so cool! Definitely not expecting the end. Please continue! Or will you just be doing more shorts like that? Either way, I can’t wait to see more of what you write! That seemed totally awesome.

Esau (Your name is easier this way), I actually feel like I can understand. I come from a big family and as the rebellious one, I’m always getting upstaged by my brothers and sometimes it’s easy to feel invisible and unimportant. I hope everything is okay with you because I know it sucks and I’ve been there. If you ever feel the need to talk, just drop us a line.

And Lilith, I am not sure that’s the greatest life lesson. I mean, yes you should enjoy life, but fucking people over doesn’t really help anyone but yourself. And especially because you just admitted to forcing Adam to leave. Just putting that out there.

Oh, my hand is cramping and I want write more but I’ve got no more motivation. So sleepy. I’ll just dump this now.

Rebellious

* * *

**Entry 32**

**Title:** A proposition

 **By:** Money and Silk Sheets

Well, this looks like quite the interesting item, Sex on Wheels. I’ll tell you that I have no real interest in writing in this; doesn’t really suit me. But I do have a proposition for you in regards to it. Meet me next Thursday at 4 at the Starbucks down the street and we could work on getting this to a bigger audience. I know some people who could get this on the web, on the school servers, on any domain you very well damn please. And I would be glad to help…for a price.

So you know, if you’re interested, just write down if you’re coming or slip me a note. I’ll keep an eye out for it.

Money and Silk Sheets

* * *

**Entry 33**

**Title:** Would you like a menu?

 **By:** Doctor Badass

Sorry dudes, been running around a lot this week. Parents are insisting I finish college apps right now. But seriously, fuck em. I’ve got a couple more weeks. Why can’t I wait until then?! I mean, I’ve already finished all the interesting apps. I don’t care about these ones.

Moondor! Will do. They won’t ever catch me, but lemme know if they start pestering you more. I’d hate for a lovely queen such as yourself to take all the fame for my heroic deeds.

Your Menu for next week!

Monday: Tacos

Tuesday: Bacon Cheeseburgers

Wednesday: Salad Bar

Thursday: Smoothies (Provided by the local Jamba Juice)

Friday: Nachos

Alright, mis compadres, there’s your lunch schedule for next week. Keep sending more requests my way. I’ll keep putting them in and eventually the man’ll probably find me but ‘til then, hell yeah! I love doing this shit.

Doctor Badass

* * *

**Entry 34**

**Title:** I am so lost

 **By:** Moose

I don’t know what to do about my brother. I haven’t seen him like this in a long time and I’m freaking out. I just don’t know what to do.

He’s drinking again.

I mean, he drinks regularly, but not like it’s the only thing goddamn holding him together. Not like this. I know he’s coping and I know he’ll pull through it, but I just haven’t seen him like this in awhile and I don’t know what happened. He won’t tell me. He won’t tell _anyone_!

I can’t get him to snap out of it and Dad just disappeared again last night and I just don’t know what to do. We’re all alone and what if the money runs out again? My brother is trying so hard to keep us fed. Who am I kidding, to keep _me_ fed. He doesn’t care about himself at all. He won’t take any of that money for himself. He'll spend it all on me and lie to my face. He'll say he's fine, but he's not. Nothing is fine. Dad can’t do this to us now. We can’t handle this…I don’t know what to do.

Someone help.

Moose


	4. Week 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think I’m gonna get drunk and do something stupid this week. I'm in the mood to fuck shit up and nothing fucks up my family like drinking. Screw the consequences.
> 
> Alastair, if you’re here, I heard you’re selling. Wanna hook me up? I’d rather destroy myself than let him do it.

**Entry 35**

**Title:** And that’s a wrap on last week

**By:** Sex on Wheels

Carver, keep the stories coming! That was fucking awesome! Man, I’d watch the shit out of that if you made it into a movie. I mean, I’ve always been a fan of sci-fi (could care less about the romance) so bring it on! Make the movie! I would read it if you wrote it, but…books and me don’t get along so well. Anyways, keep ‘em coming.

Comatose, you are banned forever from this Journal simply because you don’t know who Spock is. Go search Star Trek and watch the first season. Now. Forsake all sense of purpose other than Star Trek. You’re getting an education. And go watch the movies, the old ones. Skip 1. SKIP 1. 3 is necessary since you’re Spock. Man, most of the odd ones are just shit. But Wrath of Khan and Voyage Home are great. Go and educate yourself, my young padawan. You aren’t allowed to write in here until you tell me who the bridge crew of the Enterprise is, Original Series.

Money and Silk Sheets, the entire point of this is pseudonymity (Is  _this_  correct, Mr. Comatose?). If I met you, we’d both lose that and I’d prefer not to so sorry, but no way in hell. You’ll have to get your money fix somewhere else because this is the only market I need.

Moose, give your brother some space. He’s probably dealing with some crap at school. Just give him time to cool off. And it sounds like this isn’t the first time your dad has done this. Your brother probably has everything under control. You should give him some credit if he's kept you alive for this long. Trust him. It sounds like he's earned it.

Doctor Badass, menu looks great! Can we just keep that on repeat, minus the smoothies. Ew. Fruit. I recoil at the thought of healthy food. And don’t even mention college apps. God, I don’t even want to think of those things.

Sex on Wheels

* * *

**Entry 36**

**Title:** The earth is on a heliocentric revolution

**By:** The Rebellious One

My eldest brother came home for the game on Friday (School spirit. Yay.) and I’m already wishing he would leave. I hate him so much. He just expects me to act and be a certain way and I know that I can’t be like that. He expects me to be my other brother; my perfect, Grade-A, mindless brother, slave to the family and their whims. And I can't do that! I’m a fucking failure for him and the rest of our family and I don’t care anymore.

Fuck him and his rules and his wants. What about me for once?! I’m sick of hearing about  _his_  mission,  _his_  purpose! The entire fucking world does not revolve him and his shit! He’s the one who fucked up our family so why can’t he just leave already?! He's the one who can't even bother to come home for more than a week every couple years! He's the one who's destroying our family! Half of us aren't even welcome home anymore! This is his fault! I'm done with him! I can't even talk about how pissed I am with him!

I think I’m gonna get drunk and do something stupid this week. I'm in the mood to fuck shit up and nothing fucks up my family like drinking. Screw the consequences.

Alastair, if you’re here, I heard you’re selling. Wanna hook me up? I’d rather destroy myself than let him do it.

Rebellious

* * *

**Entry 37**

**Title:** A fix by any other name’s just as sweet

**By:** Money and Silk Sheets

That’s too bad, Sex on Wheels. I could have made this so easy for you. You get more writers and more data. I get my money and well…there could have been some fantastic sex as well involved if you were hot. And just so you know, I don’t take being made a fool of kindly though. If you had blown me off, that would have been fine, but you had to throw in the bit on money.

You are sadly mistaken if money is my only fix.

I’ll have you know that I thoroughly enjoy revenge as well.

Money and Silk Sheets

* * *

**Entry 38**

**Title:** This is a terrible feeling

**By:** Gumby Girl

I’m stuck between being happy and sad and I hate it. This is such a weird limbo and I don't know how to get out of it.

I mean, I’m happy because my parents have finally chilled for the time being. And we kicked ass at the game on Friday! Fuck yeah! The boys won 24-13 even though Alastair got kicked off the team and the cheerleaders were fantastic as always. Oh, our team is so going to win competition this year! Like seriously, huge loss if you weren’t there.

And I’m sad because I finally found out what happened between Dean and Cassie from over the summer. I'm usually happy when I figure out what happened, another mystery unraveled, but this was nothing I was prepared for. I’m kinda in shock honestly because this is so uncharacteristic of both of them. I just… I didn’t expect this. At all. Dean's not the one who broke it off actually. It was Cassie.

He told her that he loved her. Dean Winchester told her that he LOVED her. He dropped the fucking L word for her!

And then she broke it off because it was too much for her. She didn't want to get in too deep and she broke it off with him because of that. If anyone has commitment issues, it's Dean and for him to get that shoved right back in his face... And then last week he tried to fix it with her and she just told him to stay away from her. Poor Dean. I can’t even imagine what that’s like.

Gumby

* * *

**Entry 39**

**Title:** Chapter 2

**By:** Carver Edlund

A pair of siblings were spelunking through a cave when the sister tripped and fell. The brother, caring that he was, stopped to help her. Only, he discovered her ankle was broken and that she could not be moved without making it worse.

“Get out of here,” his sister told him, but he shook his head and stayed. He couldn’t leave her.

Two weeks later, another spelunker found their equipment in the cavern. But that wasn’t all that he found. In the center of the room was a rock formation he’d never seen before, what looked like two people leaning up against each other. He called it “The Siblings.”

\---

I can’t believe that’s what actually happened. Dean never told anyone, not even his brother (And they’re weirdly close). His friends have been going crazy, trying to figure out what’s wrong and he hasn't told any of them. Thanks for the intel.

Carver

* * *

**Entry 40**

**Title:** You have my reluctant appreciation

**By:** Mr. Comatose

Sex on Wheels, I’m afraid that I haven’t had time to watch anything but the first episode. There hasn’t been time to watch anything else, but I am positive that Spock is an excellent figure to be compared to so thank you. I think that you would be more like Kirk, easily ruled by emotions, with a rather…impulsive personality. You would need it to create this, though you did seem to put some thought into this.

And I appreciate the endeavors in consideration your grammar, even though I suspect that they were merely sarcastic in nature. However, that is still not grammatically correct. And I realize that you will never change the error you made within the first entry so I ask that you stop mocking me with it and your lack of grammatical talent.

I wanted to thank you, however. Thanks to this journal, I was able to save my sister from doing anything stupid in her anger. So I thank you for that. It would have been catastrophic in the eyes of my family if she had gotten drunk or had reached out to Alastair as she’d promised. And for future reference, please don’t encourage such destructive behavior of hers. Our family is not as forgiving as you are and I would hate for her to face them in such a way. She's not yet experienced them in their wrath yet.

Carver Edlund, I also found your writing to be interesting, a fascinating mix of speculative and science fiction. A decent job overall. However, the way you wrote this segment left much to be desired as surely people would have come looking for them sooner if they didn't return home or if their equipment needed to be returned and it never was. Why didn’t the brother go and get help? The sister could have waited. This isn’t properly explained and leaves a great deal of plot hole to be tripped in.

Mr. Comatose

* * *

**Entry 41**

**Title:** Harmony is possible

**By:** Texas Ranger

So Mr. Comatose, what have we learned from this? It is indeed possible to have a good use for this. So maybe not all of it’s good, that happens everywhere. So please stop trying to turn us in. We’re trying to make this good, so please. And you sister, who I'm assuming is Rebellious. Is she okay? Or Rebellious, rather, are you okay? 

On another note, Carver that was awesome! And wow, what a great critique. I mean, so in depth for just a couple paragraphs.

Doctor Badass, I’m requesting more chicken. Roasted this time! With baked potatoes fully loaded. Nothing tastes better than a good meal that reminds me of my mother's cooking.

Texas Ranger

* * *

**Entry 42**

**Title:** Meg Masters and her fine ass

**By:** Bite Me

You know how everyone says that Lisa Braeden is the best fuck here at school? That’s a lie. That’s the biggest fucking lie I ever heard. She's got experience, sure, but that's it. She doesn't know how to really get a guy going. Lisa’s good when you’re in the mood for a night on the town, movies and dinner and then going back to her place while her parents are out. She's like cheap ass beer that only gives a slight buzz.

Meg Masters is the best. She is the motherfucking vodka of the sex spectrum. I swear to God she took lessons or something because she gets me every single fucking time. She has without a doubt the finest fucking ass anyone has ever seen. Now that is one thing I would get all over if I could. I mean, seriously. And she’s into all this kinky shit, bondage and other crap. Lisa is vanilla as hell, but Meg.

She’s a wild bitch under the sheets.

Bite Me

* * *

**Entry 43**

**Title:** Wow

**By:** Moose

Well that was not the objectification of women at all. Bite Me, I’m a guy and even I know that’s not okay. I feel bad for whatever woman you end up with. Or rather, I think you’re going to end up alone because no woman will ever want to get within ten feet of you and your disgusting self. Ugh, people like you disgust me. You know, I find it kinda amazing that you managed to right that much because you seem to lack the amount of brain cells necessary for that.

Thanks for the tip, Sex on Wheels. Yah, my brother’s doing okay. And he's keeping us above water for now. I don't know how, but he is. And he's still kinda moping, but he’s doing better.

Moose

* * *

**Entry 44**

**Title:** Fuck you

**By:** Hell’s Finest

I’ve seen this for awhile, especially since that lovely unicorn Mr. Comatose tried to damn you guys. Now, I have no choice to but to interfere. Yay.

Moose, don’t get your pretty little words in a twist with worry. Women like Meg have long learned that the world is crawling with assholes like Bite Me. It's not like we aren't used to it. There are creeps everywhere. We've learned to be a little more thick skinned than most people think we are. We can stand up for ourselves. And thus, in the name of all women, everywhere, particularly (can’t believe I’m saying this) Lisa Braedon and Meg Masters, fuck off, Bite Me. I hope you jump off a building and end up waist deep in ice in the the ninth of circle of Hell. Go screw yourself you Grade A asshole. Heaven knows, you won’t be screwing me.

Hell’s Finest

* * *

**Entry 45**

**Title:** You’re all apocalypse bound

**By:** The King of Hell

What the hell do you brats think you’re doing?! This isn’t Wall Street! You can’t just pass this around like some second-rate stock and expect it to go unnoticed! You’re lucky that I picked this up and not a teacher who would actually turn it in! That’s right, the first teacher has found The Journal (You really should have stuck with The Notebook because this is just as sappy and overdone with teen angst.) and it won’t be long until the next one finds it.

Mr. Sex on Wheels (Wonderful name by the way. I can hear the overcompensation from here.), you need to stop this now. I don't know who dropped you on your head as a kid, but you must have some shred of knowledge stuck in that cranium of yours. This is dangerous and you should realize this by now. All of you are emotionally constipated. Half of you admit to drinking and drugs and are so homophobic you really shouldn't be given the right to vote. I'm moving to England once the lot of you turn eighteen. One of your posters is the school hacker (Enchiladas please). Another is so addicted to her gossip it’s a wonder how she thinks since she's probably talking about the mindless details of Dean Winchester's sex life the entire day through. One of you has a grudge against Celine Dion and that’s just sacrilege. And another of you is obviously suicidal and I am technically under obligation from the state to turn this in. I won’t because I have no proof of who anyone is except for Lilith and love, that is a stupid move. I can promise you that if someone else finds this, you will be interrogated faster than you can blink.

So please, shut this bloody contraption down.

But don’t forget. Enchiladas.

King of Hell

* * *

**Entry 46**

**Title:** What is with assholes this week?!

**By:** Gumby Girl

That last post. I can't fucking even look at that last post. It’s like Mr. Comatose turned into a snarky asshole teacher. And I’m not OBSESSED with gossip! I just like being informed and knowing what's going on! That is my thing and I’m damn good at it! So fuck you! You’re worse than half the people in here, throwing around oppressive and demeaning shit like that at us! You're the one who's insulting us! You said we’re emotionally constipated, well maybe there’s a reason for that and you are not helping!

You know what, you’re just as bad as us, if not worse! So stop! If anyone finds out it’s you, they’ll find how you insulted students and how you let this go one time so you’re just as bad as us! You can't claim ignorance anymore because you're just as involved! You have no right to do this! Get the fuck out of this journal!

Damn, and I was having such a good day.

Gumby Girl

* * *

**Entry 47**

**Title:** Entrance!

**By:** Knife Collection

Alright, getting the fucking amazing entrance I wanted now! Bam! Enter freak with the knife collection!

There, now I’m satisfied. I've gotten my good entrance after the flop that was last week. God, why is it that I can never find this until Friday? This is in such high demand now, it's ridiculous!

And let me tell you something, King of Hell, you don’t scare us. You can play the teacher card all you want, but you’re on our turf now and that means you’ve got no power. This is our creation, so we control it. Not you. You’re just another anonymous writer too scared to show their own face. You’re just as bad as the rest of us. You may want us to shut down, but let me tell you. If  _this_ journal gets shut down, then a dozen others will pop up without fail because the problem’s already started and it can’t be stopped. You’re not doing anything, you egotistical prick. You're just poking a sleeping bear.

And really,  _King of Hell_? You think Sex on Wheels is bad, but you? You’re the one declaring yourself the King. The only thing you’re king of is the scum on the bottom of your own overinflated ego. Perhaps I’ll just have to pop that bubble with one of my knives. How does that sound?

Stop threatening us. Now.

Because we may not be able to vote yet, but there's sure as hell a lot more us than you.

Knife Collection

* * *

**Entry 48**

**Title:** Fucking Enchiladas

**By:** Doctor Badass

Damn, Knife Collection. Now that was badass! Remind me to never get on your bad side because I’m not sure what would happen. I could probably take ya, but ya know. I respect a girl with an attitude. Alright, here’s your menu for the next week based on reception of this week’s menu.

Monday: Roast Chicken with Loaded Baked Potatoes

Tuesday: Burgers and Tater Tots

Wednesday: Salad Bar

Thursday: Enchiladas

Friday: Nachos and Sundaes

Alright, the great and mighty Doctor Badass has escaped yet another week without being caught. Has anyone heard from Queen of Moondor? I wanna make sure she hasn’t been getting any more of my mail. I take great pride in it and want to hang it up in my room.

Doctor Badass

* * *

**Entry 49**

**Title:** You scratch my back, I’ll claw yours

**By:** The Rebellious One

Damn it. Of all the fucking things you could pull, being here is one of the worst! I know who you are, Mr. Comatose. And I swear to God and every fucking thing under the sky, you try and stop me again and I will reveal who you are and let all of these people come after you for trying to stop this. You don’t fucking own me so back the fuck off!

I am my own person and you don’t get to run my life for me just like all of our other shitty brothers! Get the fuck out of here!

Rebellious

* * *

**Entry 50**

**Title:** Fuck yeah

**By:**  Dean Winchester

Someone pushed the dyke into a trashcan during lunch. It was fucking awesome. Like seriously though, she ran away and I’m pretty sure she was crying.

I know I’m supposed to use an alias or whatever, but Lilith isn’t and I just had to personally give props to whoever did that because that was pure awesome.

Dean


	5. Week 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is absolute bullshit. I wish I knew what you were doing because this is crap and you’re crap and this entire situation is crap!

**Entry 51**

**Title:** This is actually pretty short

 **By:** Sex on Wheels

Mr. Comatose, I’m glad we could be of help. Is she alright? Or, Rebellious, I guess I should be asking that to you? Are you alright? What happened exactly? I mean, last time you wrote, you said you were about to go do something stupid, like Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull (or whatever that shit remake was called) stupid. And seriously, don't get involved with Alastair. That will be the worst fucking decision you ever make. Trust me.

Sex on Wheels

* * *

**Entry 52**

**Title:** Screw the witty titles, I’m pissed

 **By:** The Rebellious One

Wow, Dean. I knew you were an asshole, but I never knew you were that big of an asshole. I am so disgusted by you right now, like I want to go take a shower simply because I've talked with you. I can’t believe you attached your name to this. I mean, Lilith is understandable, but I thought you had at least a little bit of brain! This is barbaric, how you’re talking about her. She is a human being and you said she deserved to be dumped in a trash can.

You. Vile. Fucking. Bastard.

You are homophobic trash and you can bet that I will never EVER talk to you again. I can’t even begin to write how deeply disappointed I am with you, with this entire fucking school. I mean, Alastair was the one who dumped her in. Alastair! You hate that bastard! How the hell can you even begin to agree with what he’s done?! Charlie is your friend! This is absolute bullshit. I wish I knew what you were doing because this is crap and you’re crap and this entire situation is crap!

Charlie is a good person. She and Gilda are happy. Why do you have to try and take this away from her? I don’t understand. This doesn’t make sense. You’re not making sense. I want so hard to believe that this is false, but you’re just so full of shit at the moment, Dean. I can’t. You’re pissed off at so many people lately and I’m starting to think that’s your only setting.

And Captain of The Ship, if I see you turn this into a romantic tangent, I will rip your pages out of this Journal, rules or not! There is no sexual tension here, there is me defending someone because she damn well deserves it and Dean Winchester i an asshole!

Ugh, I have more on my brothers but I can’t even write about that right now, I’m so angry about this. And now that Mr. Comatose has figured out who I am, I don’t even know whether I’ll be able to rant about my family. This all pisses me off so much.

The Rebellious One

* * *

**Entry 53**

**Title:** I for Innocent

 **By:** Gumby Girl

Guys, I talked to Dean the other day. He’s saying he didn’t write it and he's trying to find whoever did. And I’m sorta wanting to believe him. I mean, I know Dean. He can be a jerk, but he’s actually a genuinely nice guy when he means it. He wouldn’t do something like this. He’s friends with her. He was upset about the entire thing. That couldn’t have been Dean. I won’t believe it.

I won’t.

You can’t make me.

God, can't he catch a break? First the whole Cassie break up thing and now this. 

In other news, Alastair has been suspended for the next two days. I mean, I’m still kinda unsure about the whole lesbian thing, but I don’t think this is okay to treat someone like this. Alastair is going too far, has been going too far for a long time. I'm glad he's gone! He's an asshole and I’m rooting for you, Charlie!

Actually, that entire group is in a lot of trouble. Something is eating at Castiel for sure. He’s forgotten homework twice last week and once today. And this is Castiel Novak, Harvard-bound Castiel Novak! Something is going on there. Not sure what. Maybe he's just worried about Charlie? I don't know. I don’t know the guy well, but everyone seems to be in a rut and it worries me.

It’s only Monday and it already seems like everyone is falling apart.

Gumby

* * *

**Entry 54**

**Title:** Invasion of the Name Snatchers

 **By:** Moose

Dean would not write that. EVER. I know him. And he wouldn’t do that. Not in a million years would he ever insult Charlie for her sexuality. They’re friends, first of all, and when it happened, he was one of the first to comfort her. He took care of her, made sure she got cleaned up with what he had before Gilda and her other friends ushered her off.

But he made sure she was okay.

And by the way, he’s also been suspended for beating the shit out of Alastair for it happening. After school yesterday he gave Alastair the ass kicking of a lifetime. So don’t you dare think for one second that that is Dean Winchester. Because no way in hell is it him. Dean wouldn't do that!

Sorry, I just can’t have you all believing he’s terrible when he’s actually not. Because the rest of his friends and I are pissed about this imposter, whoever it is.

So, Dear Imposter (I refuse to call you Dean because you aren't him), I hope you’re reading this.

Because we have weapons. And we will find you.

Knife Collection isn’t the only one who can make threats.

Moose

* * *

**Entry 55**

**Title:** Is Annikan an acceptable example?

 **By:** Hell’s Finest

Calm down there, Moose. We get it, you’re taking it personal. That’s great for you, you probably oversized musclehead. And normally I’d encourage it because it’s kinda entertaining, but really, that seems like Dean. I know him too and when he’s drunk or he’s high, he can be an asshole. And I mean, aside from the whole…drama with Alastair. I can’t really call it drama…aside from the motherfucking shit storm of all shit storms that went down with Alastair last year, they got along great.

It could just be that Dean is finally going darkside agiain. It’s not unheard of. You may be one of those innocent until guilty lawyer-types, but when you’ve been in the world I have, everyone’s guilty of something. Perhaps he’s using this crime to hide something else.

And oh dear, what’s wrong with little old Castiel? Did his calculator batteries fall out?

Hell’s Finest

* * *

**Entry 56**

**Title:** Blond with brains

 **By:** Lilith

I find myself in agreement with Hell’s Finest and I must say that I love your name, dear. Positively wicked. Last year, Dean was… a wild thing, always losing himself to drugs or drink or sex. Mmmm. Those were some good nights. And after Alastair on the night when shit went down, Dean would be completely against same-sex relations or whatever you wanna call it (Even if he’s never told anyone what happened, sex had to be involved.). It’s natural and it’s understandable.

But it does raise the question of why Dean was with Alastair in the first place. I must admit that I haven’t thought Dean was straight for a long time. Not gay obviously. Maybe somewhere in the middle? Our lovely asshole Third Man is bisexual. Probably along those lines. Like Hell’s Finest said, one crime to cover up another. In that case, Dean might be lashing out, nervous about the whole thing. Or it could warrant that the writer Dean Winchester is not the actual Dean Winchester.

Though the language is a bit crude for Dean. I mean, he curses like it’s no one’s business, but that was just gratuitous and classless. No, Dean’s a little more high class than that. Just a little though.

I know you’re gaping, but there are some brains to this bitch. I know exactly what I’m doing and what’s going on in people’s heads. You have to learn to be manipulative somehow and a psych class or two doesn’t hurt.

Oh, and I know this is last week’s news, but I’ll have you know that my ass is far better than Meg’s. And I’m a much better fuck than she is. Just ask anybody.

And Doctor Badass, would you mind putting some French fries on the menu somewhere. Those things are deep fried crack.

Lilith

* * *

**Entry 57**

**Title:** Winchesters

 **By:** Bite Me

If it really isn’t Winchester, why doesn’t he just get his ass on here and say that it’s not? I mean, it looks like his handwriting and everything. I’ve shared enough classes with him to know. And Winchester is a dick. I think it runs in the family cause have you met his little bro? Sam’s a smart ass who needs someone to beat him down until he knows what’s right and what’s not. Or just to get him out of here completely. That little shit.

But Winchester would write that. And I’m gonna need proof that it ain’t him.

Bite me

* * *

**Entry 58**

**Title:** Lord, give me the strength

 **By:** The Third Man

If I sigh at your stupidity anymore I will die from lack of oxygen. Use your head. If Dean is already writing in here then it he wrote that it wasn’t him, we’d recognize the writing immediately. Dean is in here somewhere most likely and that’s why he can’t respond to it. I know Dean can be an asshole, but he’s not that big of one. And he would never approve of Alastair. It’s been pointed out so many times by the people writing before me it’s a wonder that it’s not tattooed on that model forehead of his. It’s uncharacteristic of Dean because he hates Alastair’s guts big time. It’s not him. Someone is framing him.

And you, my idiotic friend are certainly not helping matters. Why don’t you crawl under a rock and just disappear for the rest of the year? At least that way if you’re not a senior, then I won’t have to deal with you next year.

And I hope Dean never figures out who you are because you are in for the beating of a life time for insulting and threatening Sam like that and I might help him. Probably just because you’re an asshole, though Sam certainly doesn’t deserve being treated like that. Sam is a brilliant kid and you deserve whatever retribution Dean decides to bring down upon you.

And dear old Castiel is doing fine now. There was a bit of a family emergency that got sorted out. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, Hell’s Finest. Wouldn’t want the heat getting to you now, no? Hellfire has such a nasty way of doing that to a person.

The Third Man

* * *

**entry to hell**

**title:** i wish i had choked on you

 **by:** esau’s legacy

i don’t remember the nights well. i don’t think anyone remembers them well. back then, we were all keyed up on blood and adrenaline and high off life and each other and the coke and the sensation that we were drowning beneath layers and layers and layers of skin. we were all so lost in one another and it was better than anything anyone could offer.

when they were out of it, everyone seemed to like my back best. the feel of the scars against the fingers was always the greatest feeling they’d tell me. one of them told me it looked beautiful one time. no one ever said that. it was always something; mountains amid the desert, a pollock on the skin, a mutherfucking metaphor for life; but it was never beautiful. not before that.

but he was stoned out of his mind so it’s kinda hard to believe him.  ~~i’m pretty sure i cried because no one had ever said that to me before.~~  it was good.

and then one of the girls choked. she backed out when he got the morphine and ran. everyone else followed her lead and left. but not me. at the time, i thought it was because i was stronger than them. that’s bullshit. i was the weakest, too scared and weak to leave and live without. so in the end it was always us two after everyone had bolted or gone to die. wouldn’t my dad have been proud to see me shooting up like a cheap whore? he’d know, he’s bought enough. long term with some bitch named milligan. dad doesn’t think we know, but i do. i’m pissed at him for it too.

and he was a demon so terrifyingly beautiful in the desolation of some burned out fucked up shack. and every night i would sob, tell him I was sorry because if anyone had the power to save me, it was him. i was so pathetic and he just let me keep going, kept saving me and damning me even further at the same time. it felt best when he damned me, fucked me hard into the mattress. and we’d shout obscenities until we were hoarse, but we would never say each other’s names. we weren’t under the illusion of love. we used each other and that was it.

that was fucking it. don’t let anyone tell you different.

i prefer not to remember the nights, but sometimes they come back full force and leave me breathless for days, unable to move or to think or breathe. i can’t breathe and i can’t fix it. i can’t fix anything.

i’m going to die. this will kill me.

and i’m perfectly okay with that.

esau’s legacy

* * *

**Entry 60**

**Title:** Chapter 3

 **By:** Carver Edlund

The greatest love story is actually that of the alphabet. A long time ago, the letters were in love with each other. And though the letters eventually grew stationary in our rigid alphabet, we can still hear their stories in the language. The letters that long to be nearest to each other are the ones that sound the best together.

The story of “Q” and “U” and the story “E” and “I” are the greatest love stories, stories of a fierce love that would never change no matter the circumstances and of a pair who changed and broke almost every rule to be together.

And poor “X” was forever alone.

\---

Esau, man. I think you really need to talk to someone or get some sort of help. The teacher from last week was right on one thing and that was that we need to do something about this because you’re veering dangerously close to suicide.

And that is not okay. SOS. I’m bad at this. I don’t know what to say.

Carver

* * *

**Entry 61**

**Title:** Would You Like Fries With That?

 **By:** Doctor Badass

Dudes, what the hell are your problems?! Dean did not write the damn note. He said it himself and therefore you believe him because this screwed up. It’s not hard.

Esau, bro, what the hell is going on with you because man that is some deep shit and that’s really fucking personal to be putting in a thing like this. Like, how in the hell did you get those scars because those are not something a teenager should have.

Alright, menu time:

Monday: Breakfast for Lunch! I’m thinking waffles and bacon.

Tuesday: Bacon cheeseburgers and fries

Wednesday: Tacos for my lovely Queen of Moondor

Thursday: Salad Bar

Friday: Nachos

Eventually the administration will have to let me have my nacho day. I will make it happen. It will happen. They can’t stop me forever. Moondor you out there, girl? Seriously, it’s been weeks and it’s starting to freak me out and usually only the horror that is the school cafeteria can do that to me.

Doctor Badass

* * *

**Entry 62**

**Title:** Cheap ass beer

 **By:** Gumby Girl

I’m implementin strike number two against the Journal because this is beyond fucked up what it’s doing. I get it now, why you guys were so pissed about what happened to Charlie because this is fucked up and I can’t even. I get it and I learned my lessson I guess because I’m ready to inflict on everyone else.

Dean got back to school today, finally released from suspension. And no one will talk to him. ~~Fucking assholes. Man, I’m gonna need more beer for this.~~

Everyone thinks it’s him and he’s alone and even his friends are worried. He pretends he’s fine all the time and I’m pissed off at him and for him and for him and with him. I’m worried he’s gonna crash and this entire fucking journal is to blame. What were the words, Comatose? It’s propagating the information or some shit. I don’ know what the fuck I’m writing, but I’m pissed and I have the journal and my parents cheep ass beer. And that’s all I am, cheap and a piece of ass. Thanks.

Sorry, I may be a bit drunk. I’m having a fuckd week because this and my migraines are back and Dean is miserable and he won’t admit to anything being wrong and my parents are fucked up and I failed test and Alastair is back and hitting on everything moving thing which just so happens to include me and I’m sick o being treated like a fucking object. I’m a person, you know! So maybe I like sex and maybe I have sex with lots of people, but that doesn’t mean I’m a slut! I HAPPEN TO FUCKING LIKE SEX! I’m don with trying to fit with the image and trying to please my parents and having sex with creeps. I just want someone who cares.

Fuck it! Fuck everything!

Fck you, Sex on Wheels! This is all your fault! If you hadn’t created this shit Journal we wouldn’t be in this mess! I hope you die in a hole. Fuck you, man. Fuck you and everything! I’m done! I’m so fuckin done! I hope your fucking proud of yourself! You and that goddamn impersnator. I hope you’re both proud, you shitfaced assholes!

I’m done.

Gumby

* * *

**Entry 63**

**Title:** Hugs for Everyone

 **By:** Texas Ranger

What in God’s name have I walked into because this isn’t the journal I dropped off a couple weeks ago. This is Teenage Hell frozen over. So let’s start heating this place up a little bit. Let’s start at the beginning.

Rebellious, you still haven’t answered whether you’re okay or not and I’m seriously think you might not be. You seem so angry. Have you tried talking to your friends or a counselor at school about this? I mean, they can really help. When I was having issues, they helped me through a lot. They’re there to help.

Impersonator. I mean, you’re obviously not the real Dean so I’m just going to ask you to step down from the Journal because this is seriously screwed up and I will find you if you continue to write under his name. To coin a phrase from Mr. Singer, you’re an idjit. So smarten up and get off this journal.

Gumby, go take an aspirin or get something greasy in your stomach because you are so out of it. I’m giving you a hug through the page because you obviously need it and I’m hoping that you feel better because if not I’ll find you and give ya a real hug. Capiche?

Texas Ranger

* * *

**Entry 64**

**Title:** Are You There Journal? It’s Me, Dean Winchester.

 **By:** Dean Winchester

I don’t understand why everyone thinks this isn’t me. I mean, I’m all but screaming out my name here. It’s me! Seriously. You all are in denial. My name is Dean Winchester. I was born on January 24. I’ve screwed practically every single girl in school except for the dyke. And why the fuck are you defending her? She fucking likes girls! That’s the capital offence here! Why the fuck can’t she be normal?! Why am I getting thrown under the bus?! I didn’t even do the shit to her! That was Alastair!

The guy’s a douche! I don’t like him so we can get that out of the way, but I like what he did. That son of a bitch does it in style. How can I prove it to you guys? What if I told you what happened last year with Alastair?

Would that satisfy you?

Dean

* * *

**Entry 65**

**Title:** Mr. Spock Reporting for Duty

 **By:** Mr. Comatose

Sex on Wheels. Much to my chagrin, I have found myself drawn into Star Trek. I have watched two seasons within the last week and my family is worried for me. But I can now with confidence tell you that Spock is my favorite character, though I also find myself admiring Doctor McCoy and his steadfast loyalty. Thank you for the compliment.

I acknowledge your strike, Gumby Girl, but reissue it when you’re not inebriated and I’ll add it then. I’m not letting anyone do something rash when they’re drunk even if I agree with it. You aren’t thinking straight. Wait a few days.

Imposter, you are not Dean. You are not him so get off this paper, you waste of space. You can pretend to be him all you like, but not here. Not here. You can’t do this to him and you can’t pretend to know what happened to him. I won’t let you. I know Dean Winchester and he’s a hundred times the man you claim to be, you filth. Go back to the gutter you crawled out of. You disgust me.

Comatose

* * *

**Entry 66**

**Title:** How are your hands feeling?

 **By:** Trickster

Well, hello there, kiddies. My little bro may have had this stolen from him, but don’t worry, I’ll keep all your precious little identities hidden from view. Gotta admit, I’m surprised at how many of you I recognize here. Perhaps an objective view is best when identifying your little sibling’s friends. But I had to insert that not all of the aforementioned siblings are boring jerks. I mean, my three older brothers, yeah. They’re complete corporate douches. But me, I’m fun. Still a jerk, but a fun one at least.

Even if my little bro refuses to believe so.

But really, you guys are all asking for trouble with this. I mean, normally I support all kinds of delinquent behavior, especially in my little bro; he’s so woefully uptight (You’ve seen his writing). A wonder considering I was the one he was closest to growing up. But you’ve seen his writing.

Either way, this is seriously bad news. And I’ve seen some of the worst shit out there. It’d be a good idea to shelve this quickly. Sex on Wheels, first of all, I’m praying that your car is really sex on wheels because she sounds like a beauty from the name. And two, find a different project. This isn’t fun; this is the chronicle of various self-destructions. I would know. I was headed that way for awhile myself. Still am probably.

I mean, you’ve got The Rebellious One, esau’s legacy, and I think you can add Gumby Girl to the list. This is ridiculous and coming from me, that’s saying something.

Trickster

PS: By the time you reach this point in the entry, your hands should be itching. I hope a little itching powder doesn’t affect your opinion of me. I promise, I’m quite fun.

* * *

**Entry 67**

**Title:** I love my family, but… Stockholm Syndrome

 **By:** The Rebellious One

You know what, screw you, Comatose, and screw you, trickster. I’m venting about you and all of our shitty siblings because I’m done caring that you’re here. Fuck you for invading my space. And fuck you, Trickster! What gives you the right to come in here?! Screw you and the rest of our family!

But no one really knows about our family, do they? No one knows how fucked up we are, despite our perfect appearance. How about an explanation?

At the “head of the family” there is the esteemed eldest brother, the Archangel and the leader as he likes to believe. But he’s no leader; he’s the shell of a man reining in a walking hurricane, destruction and disease and famine. And he’s gone, flitting from one storm to the next. All the time. I hadn’t seen him for three months before he came back for the football game. And in the first moments he arrived, he thought he could step back into my life and control the world about me again. He always does this! He thinks that his word is law, gospel even! Our family has always been religious. He would think like that. He would want to be seen like that, a prophet with divine revelation.

Beneath him lies another brother. There is nothing but brothers in my family. The mother and father lie absent as a gravestone and a skeleton. But the second brother, another one driven by duty and grief and agony he doesn’t dare share with us. I haven’t seen him in years, though my memories are of him bandaging cuts from my adventures. He was the Healer. If there were no pictures, no memories, I would say that he didn’t exist. All I hear from him is the same line at the bottom of the letters, “Tell Rebellious that Mother would want her to work hard. She must make our family proud.”

A third brother is the Trickster, flitting in and out on his cloud of ravens. I’ve never really known him. He was gone by the time I could hope to, banished by the eldest. He appears frequently, but he is always elsewhere, lost in a world all his own. He expects to drag me along back with him, grab another child for his twisted life.

A fourth brother is the Devil trapped in human skin. He sleeps in a foreign bed most nights if he isn’t out losing his mind on something. They think I can’t remember his face. He hasn’t existed to my family for longer than I’ve been alive. Even when I was young they never let me associate with him. Two separate lives for two separate fates. “Don’t be like him, Rebellious. Don’t make us do that to you.” But I’ve seen him. I’ve met him. He’s far better than any of the rest of them.

And then the fifth, Comatose on Star Trek, a love for a forbidden fruit, and a penchant for English that the Archangel thinks is useless. The Devil laughs at the exchange from his steamed up car and Comatose simply nods in acceptance of the Archangel’s wrath yet again. Comatose is the one they are proud of though, the one they acknowledge. He is the one they want, the one that bends over backwards to please the image of a perfect family.

The house is often devoid of life other than me and Comatose and our father upstairs who may as well be another comatose. But he is worshiped as a God. We all trip in careful avoidance of each other, but Comatose is the one I grew up with. And now he is gone, off to gain wings and soar away to follow the Archangel on his road paved to Hell and the Devil.

I hope you like your Church now, Mother. Your House of Angels. Your Twisted Religion. The God, The Archangel, The Healer, The Trickster, The Devil, The Comatose, and The Rebellious. Haven’t we turned out wonderful, Mother? Take your place as our Martyr because that’s all that’s left for you here. Your death did wonderful things to us.

Rebellious

* * *

**Entry 68**

**Title:** Slinks back into view

 **By:** Gumby Girl

Whoa guys, sorry. I was rereading over that last post. That was majorly not cool of me to do. I don’t even remember writing half of that. I’m gonna still issue the strike, but I’m just not going to write anymore at the moment.

I’m just so embarrassed.

I’m so sorry.

Gumby

* * *

**Entry 69**

**Title:** Special Redheads

 **By:** The Fae

By the way, in the midst of all this sadness, I think we forgot to mention one thing. Charlie is now going out with Gilda. Gilda totally said yes. And they’re freaking adorable. Dean has showed nothing but support for them and they know he didn’t write that. And they’ve been hanging out every day after school and that deserves a post all to itself because don’t forget that Charlie’s not just an idea. She’s a person.

And a special one at that.

The Fae


	6. Week 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, family counselor now. Give me a degree and I can become a proper psychiatrist and set up my own practice. I promise not to eat any of you, my precious starlings.  
> That is, unless you’re rude.

**Entry 70**

**Title:** Dr. Wheels at your service

 **By:** Sex on Wheels

So, I’m not sure what happened with the train wreck that was last week, but why don’t we try and make this week a little happier? We’ve all been sorta losing it lately.

Comatose, glad to see you’re doing well with Star Trek. I knew you’d like it and I knew you were Spock! Seriously, you even talk like the guy! It’s kinda crazy how close you two are in personality. And damn, I think I would make a pretty good Kirk.

Gumby, it’s okay. We’ve all sent those drunk texts before. Never actually written one though. And write in here as much as you want. It’s an experiment. Everything’s good.

And Rebellious, that’s an interesting family you’ve got there. Sounds like you’re in a bit of a wild place. And yeah, I get it, screwed up families can be really fucking awful. I would know. But they’re still you’re family and you’ve got to give them a chance. They’re trying their hardest and sometimes you have to cut them a little slack. It sucks. I know (I’m gonna be saying that a lot.). But have you really tried with them? Yeah, you made them pie so you could get off probation, but it’s not really trying.

Look at me, family counselor now. Give me a degree and I can become a proper psychiatrist and set up my own practice. I promise not to eat any of you, my precious starlings.

That is, unless you’re rude.

Sex on Wheels

* * *

**Entry 71**

**Title:** Rebellious at the hands of an angry God

 **By:** The Rebellious One

Abaddon and Gordon are going to kill me. They either need to stop or find better hiding places because if I walk in on them one more time I will claw out my eyes. And they think it's the funniest damn thing in the world!

Ugh. I went to a scene over the weekend though. Certainly helped with the stress. At this point, I don’t even care whether my brothers know. I’m tired of telling them to fuck off and I just want to vent here. It’s not like they can stop me. No father. No mother. Just a couple of kids playing dress up and pretending to be guardians. And the Archangel won’t get his ass down here so why the fuck should it matter anyways?!

Thanks for the compliment on my family, Wheels, but I’m done trying. I have tried for so long to help them on their useless quest for self-appeasement. It’s all pointless. They don’t care about me as a person so why the fuck should I care about them?! It all goes hand in hand and I’m done trying to extend the olive branch. Why don’t they do it for once?! It goes two ways!

Rebellious

* * *

**Entry 72**

**Title:** Reality's Bitch Slap

 **By:** Hell’s Finest

Damn, Rebellious. You are so fucking angry. I bet your hand shakes as you write and you have to take breaks because you’re that fucking angry. I bet you see red and have to grit your teeth. Maybe you've even snapped a pen because you're that fucking angry. I get it. Really, I get it. And everyone has a right to be angry, but have you even stepped back to think that maybe your life isn’t that bad?! You sit there in your little corner and say, my family’s a bit crappy. Well boo fucking hoo! Maybe, you have a family. Maybe you don’t live in a shit hole by yourself. Maybe you’re fucking alright.

You have problems. We get it. But until you’ve had to live in hell by yourself, don’t you fucking cry. Until you’ve had to carry a knife to make sure you can get home safe, don’t you fucking cry. Until you’ve had guys fuck you like an object, don’t you fucking cry. You’re angry, not scared. You’re pissed, not sad.

You don’t have a sob story. You sneak out to raves in the middle of the night and complain when your brothers don’t treat you with the unending attention you’re so sure you deserve. You shit on people anonymously in this bullshit book and complain when someone figures out who you are. Newsflash. You’re not the discreet. You shouldn’t broadcast your family because it’s easy to tell who you are.

In twenty years, you’ll probably sniffle and fake wiping your eyes because of course you’ll be crying and you’ll say something like “I had such a hard childhood. I really don’t want to talk about it.” And people will say “Oh, you poor thing,” and gently pat you on the shoulder as you get poured another glass of wine at dinner because you’ll be able to afford wine at dinner.

And Rebellious, really, I get it. You are so fucking angry.

I watched my father get his mind blown out right in front of me. I fucking watched him die while some drunk ass cop stood there. The blood soaked my t-shirt and his brains dripped down the wall. I was eight-years-old.

I watched my father die.

I’m even angrier than you.

Hell’s Finest

* * *

**Entry 73**

**Title:** Hey

 **By:** Vampirate

Sex on Wheels, brother, this is an interesting place you’ve created.

And Hell’s Finest. Well, little lady, that’s a powerful post and that is sure fueled by something powerful in itself. But how bout we tone down the anger towards that innocent girl? Sure, she messed up a bit and been a bit overdramatic, but you’re the one who went wild over it. Let the girl have her space and calm down. She'll get there eventually.

And to all you out there. Don’t forget about football every Friday night. We may not be too smart, but we put on a hell of a show.

Vampirate

* * *

**Entry 74**

**Title:** *Cue theme music*

 **By:** The Queen of Moondor

I’M BACK, BITCHES! Sorry I was absent for so long, but I needed to take a break. I’ve been going through some personal issues and this was the last thing I wanted to find. But now that I’m back, I have a few choice words. My God, has this place gone to shit or what?! I mean, this is worse than the Red Wedding! It’s like a pure social massacre! Hehe. Get it because massacre and...never mind. Anyways, have you people no decency?!

First of all, it wasn’t fucking Dean! Okay, it wasn’t! He didn’t write that because Dean doesn’t write things like that and now you are bullying him and that is not okay either! Two wrongs don’t make a right, people! Fix it and fix it now! I’m serious! Don’t make me break out the Klingon to really insult you! I can rip you a new one in Vulcan, Klingon, English, and my limited Spanish!

Second, Hell’s Finest. Wow, that is one hell of a past to deal with, but you don’t take that out on other people. Yes, Rebellious doesn’t have the past you do, but she’s going through something in the present, so don’t feel so inclined to stomp out her feelings. But Rebellious, if you could keep your family discussions out of this journal, that would be great. It’s pretty weird to be watching… reading… seeing (?) you guys yell at each other across the page.

Finally, Doctor Badass, I have gotten another email but I told them it wasn’t me and that they could take it up with you. Of course, when I told them to take it up with Doctor Badass, they didn’t understand so I’m saddled with detention, but there’s no need to be worried. I’m fine. They haven’t suspended me at all yet. So it’s okay.

Seriously guys, stop it with Dean. He doesn’t deserve this. No one does. Except maybe Alastair because he’s the only proven asshole here.

Queen of Moondor

* * *

**Entry 75**

**Title:** All the pissed off people…where do they all come from?

 **By:** Knife Collection

Hey, Queen of Moondor! So glad that your majesty could finally return to us, Doctor Badass has been freaking out over where you’ve been. And it's been fun to watch him sweat, but it's good to see you’re alive and kicking. And thanks btw because that wasn’t Dean. It could not have been Dean. I’m placing my statement right now that it’s not Dean. And I will stand by that to the end of the line. Moose may be placing his own threats, but let’s not forget that I’m the one with the knife collection. Capiche?

So, you damn imposter, just admit you’re not Dean. It’s not worth it to keep going with this charade. We all know you’re a fake. Just give it up!

But I didn’t just come on here for Dean. I also needed a bit of space. I know Gordon and he’s actually okay when he’s not being a bigoted asshole, which is admittedly most of the time. But today, I just lost it. First of all, him and Abaddon are being ridiculous. If I have to see him shove his tongue down her throat one more time, I will personally rip it out. I just want to get to my math class without watching them dry hump in the hall.

Second, History. Government and feminist debates. It’s because of men like him that I still feel the need to carry pepper spray.

Knife Collection

PS: Hell’s Finest, you’re not the only one with a dead father. You don’t have to take it out on someone else. Stop being a bitch and help for once.

* * *

**Entry 76**

**Title:** The fuck are these names?

 **By:** Doctor Badass

Hola, mis amigos. I need to take some notes and no one has any paper and Mr. Roman is walking around and making sure we're actual working, so have some of Mr. Roman's philosophical torture.

 ---

A social shift allows for the next group of philosophers that focused primarily on rhetoric instead of what made up the world

Known as Sophists (wise guys)

  * Focused on the nature of power
  * Skeptics and cynics



Protagoras 

  * 490-422 BC
  * Customs are relative, not absolute
  * Man as the measure of all things
  * Subjectivism, relativism are the backbone of all sophism
  * "As for the gods, I have no way of knowing either that they exist or that they do not exist."



 Gorgias

  * ~~The fuck are these names?~~
  * 483-375 BC
  * Wanted to replace philosophy with rhetoric
  * Proved many theses including:
  * There is nothing
  * If there were anything, no one could know it
  * If anyone did know it, no one could communicate it
  * If you could prove these absurdities you could prove anything
  * The hell is this? These guys were high.



Thrasymachus

  * What did I schedule for lunch today? I’m starving.



Callicles

  * The strong should get rid of the "shackles" that bind them to the weak because it is "naturally right"
  * Did they just invent Darwinism? Dude, they totally fucking did.
  * Power, not justice, is what matters…I like this guy.
  * Power leads to survival, which leads to pleasure…Hello, ladies.
  * Pleasure is what the enlightened individual pursues



Oh my god, there’s still fifteen minutes left. Roman is such a dick. I mean it’s even in his name. Dick Roman. What kind of parent names their kid Dick Roman? How cruel would you be to name your kid Dick? Can you imagine the teasing that would come with it? Can you imagine on standardized testing? He’d write his name down as Roman Dick.

Critias

  * Smart dudes rule by scaring people with fake gods.
  * Threw out pre-Socratics
  * No objective reality and humans are too stupid to get it
  * Truth does not matter, only manipulation…Liking this guy too.



Were they all evil douches?

  * According to Socrates: HELL YES
  * But the sophists were skilled dudes who pushed democracy. VIVA LA FREEDOM.
  * Lead peeps to not look at space (the final frontier), but at themselves as interesting things.



AND LUNCH TIME! Roman Dick has finally let us all go. Alright, I left the calendar for food next week at home. I’ll find this and update it later. But for now I’m gonna go see if there’s any food left. Peace out!

Doctor Badass

* * *

**entry of scars**

**title:** canvas skin

 **by:** esau’s legacy

it’s easy to forget what it’s like to be calm when you’re nerves are so frazzled you can’t move. there are days i can’t remember from last year because the only way i could get through them was by not being there. that was how it started. one comment about how fucking exhausted i was and then he showed up. he offered me something to finally calm my nerves.

i took it.

and he lied. they didn’t calm my nerves, they ripped them open and laid them bare to everything, flayed and raw and wanting. but my god was it beautiful. even if it made me think i was crazy half the time. i often found myself teetering on the edges of my sanity, too worried about my dad finally leaving, my brother not having everything he needed, waking up and finding nothing left because i’d ruined it all again, ariplanes. airplanes are pretty damn scary. really, i should get a gold medal for the amount of times i’ve pulled myself back.

but there’s one thing i never found worrying in the slightest. scars. i have six of them on my back. i had two at the beginning of the year, long and sprawling across my back. and i got another four as the year went on.

They are certainly not scars a teenager should have. but they’re mine. four are from burns, two from fire and two from cigarettes snuffed out when the ash tray wasn’t available. he always did like using the human skin as canvas. and we were all so buzzed that i didn’t notice until the night was over and by then it didn’t matter anymore. like i said, it’s hard to remember the nights. ~~i remember those ones in crystal clarity.~~

the other two are knife wounds. i got those ones from my dad. he used to make me do this training when i was a kid so i could protect my brother and every time he caught me off guard, he’d nick me with his knife. it’s never really stopped, but it’s gotten a lot less frequent because my brother’s a lot more aware now. he got my back twice last year and my brother doesn’t even know.

doesn’t even fucking know what i do for this family.

some people may think them ugly, i certainly do, but that doesn’t mean they don’t belong on me. i’m nothing without my scars and even if they’re ugly because they never healed right (i only went to the hospital for two of them), i don’t hate them. i mean i probably will when i’m old and bitter (i’m gonna be really fucking bitter.), but for now they’re mine, even if most of them could have been avoided.

esau’s legacy

* * *

**Entry 78**

**Title:** Dif-tor Heh Smusma

 **By:** Mr. Comatose

I don’t like confrontation. I am usually permitting of everyone having their own opinion, but, Hell’s Finest. Don’t you ever. Ever. Insult my sister like that again. EVER! You don’t know a thing about her or our lives. You may have figured out our identities, mine most likely off extension of hers, but that doesn’t give you the right to presume you know anything about our circumstances or her emotions.

I offer my condolences (however useless they may be) for you father, but the wound is old and I doubt it helps. But please, don’t rip wounds from sister. She doesn’t deserve that.

Sex on Wheels, I’m horrified to tell you that I’ve completed all of The Original Series and have moved on to Next Generation. This is straining to be classified as normal watching anymore and straying more towards addiction. As if I didn’t have enough to worry about. College applications still aren’t finished and I have to do well in case I get put on any waitlists. I can’t afford this. ~~But I’m watching more tonight.~~

esau, I think you need to seek some psychological help. Something to help you through this. This isn’t safe anymore and is proving to be extremely detrimental to your psyche. It’s obvious you have little or no self-worth and are willing to take the brunt of other people’s anger. This will get you killed based on what’s happened to you before.

Mr. Comatose

* * *

**Entry 79**

**Title:** The Real Queen

 **By:** Lilith

Has anyone seen Meg lately? She hasn’t been at school for the last two days and she isn’t picking up her phone? Did something happen or did she just crawl away to sleep with Lucifer? It’s impossible to keep track of those two half the time.

And don’t even get me started on Dick Roman. That man is a certified asshole who believes that he runs this school. Even going farther than Naomi and Mosely. Newsflash to all you little underlings out there. He doesn’t. I do. I’ve got links all the way up through Naomi and farther. This school is mine and he needs to step down.

Otherwise it could be very unpleasant. If anything, I would say he was the teacher he wrote in a couple weeks ago. He’s that much of an asshole and is that condescending towards us. He thinks he's that much better just because he's a teacher. But jokes on him. Who's going to get the better salary in the end? Me. But then again, Crowley’s always had a penchant for the dramatics too. And his classroom is basically Hell. I mean, they’re both awful. i guess it could really be either.

Lilith

* * *

**Entry 80**

**Title:** This is a Creative Title

 **By:** Moose

Hey, Esau. I’m sorry that you’re down. Can we help at all? I see you posting and my brother says I’m girly for this, but do you wanna talk? I’m about ready to just start trying to hunt you down so I can help myself. It’s terrifying to watch you like this. So just…can we help? Do you even want it? I mean, you have to if you’re posting in a place like this. So…just let us. Tell someone. Someone.

Lilith, you never fail to remind me of how terrifying you are. But I always have to wonder, it is really so smart to put your name here?

Anyways, my dad finally came back. Drunk off his ass too. My bro finally had to go looking for him and he tracked his cellphone to two states away. He drove all night to get there and ended up missing school just to track him down. And it just…it never ends well. My brother’s hurt…I think. He won’t tell me, but he makes theses face when he thinks I’m not looking and my dad is just worthless at the moment. I can’t wait for college. I can’t wait to get out of here.

Moose

* * *

**Entry 81**

**Title:** SPIRK

 **By:** Captain of The Ship

*Rises from the grave at the sound of the Spirk becoming canon*

OMG! Charlie and Gilda are so cute together! They eat lunch together every day and they’re just adorable sweet! Charlie calls Gilda her personal faerie and Gilda does this thing where she kisses Charlie on the nose as they separate to go to class and my locker is right there so I get to see them every day and they’re so sweet. Sorry, Rebellious, but they’re so adorable! You’ve got nothing on Gilda when it comes to Charlie!

I have been absent for far too long, but I had to return at the sound of…Coma on Wheels becoming canon! And in real life too! This is my OTP of OTPs because it could actually become reality and it’s with real people! I could watch the romance bloom before my very eyes and with real people! OMG! And for you to compare yourself to Spock and Kirk is perfect! The stoic nature, but undeniable fierce passion that burns within Mr. Comatose (Not to mention that he’s now speaking Vulcan!). And the internal debate going on between him over the nature of himself and his sister! It’s just like Spock, so tortured by his half-Vulcan, half-human heritage, so emotionally restrained and yet consumed by the ultimate passion! And the flirty impulsive nature, but secret insecurities of Sex on Wheels! It’s just like Kirk, so intensely passionate all the time, yet so in control and so troubled by his history. It is history’s greatest couple! They complete each other, balance each other out! Just like Spock and Kirk! I CAN’T EVEN! IT’S SO PERFECT! I may just die because you two are so perfect together and the way you’ve been reacting to each other is pure chemistry! This is so beautiful and I can’t take it anymore! Just go get married or something because you two are made for each other! Soul mates! I CAAAAAAAAAAAN’T!

And Esau. Oh, Esau. I can’t even begin to tell you how much your entries make me cry. You sound like such a hero to your brother and to your family. *Sniffles* I wish I could understand what it was like, to have gone through all that. With your dad and with the drugs and with the scars. Your life sounds so hard. But you sound like such a good person! So strong. I’m tearing up thinking about how beautiful a story this is.

Oh God, this journal will kill me. I have to leave before I die from the beauty.

Captain of The Ship

* * *

**Entry 82**

**Title:** Rita Skeeter

 **By:** The Third Man

Oh, my. Captain of the Ship. I'm going to assume you've watched Harry Potter, especially based upon your...tendency for shipping and fanaticism. You remember Rita Skeeter? The annoying journalist with the habit of tilting the truth for sensationalism? That is you in your own little mind. You obsessively write about the relationships of people –Real people– and you glamorize every fucked up thing that esau has been through. You’re obviously sheltered because you have no idea the struggles that he’s enduring. And you make it seem trivial and meaningless by portraying it the way you do. You can’t give people the wrong impression of such horrible things!

You need to stop before someone gets truly offended by it and decides to track you down.

And Lilith, Meg is pissed at something. And now that I’m looking through this week, I’m seeing why. She was so pissed that she felt it necessary to go out and medicate in the worst kind of way. She was out with Lucifer again and got caught high on something. The police are having a field day with her. I don’t even how long she’ll be gone. That girl. She’s going to self-destruct someday.

If she’s not already there. I think she’s got jail time now. She hasn’t been home since Tuesday at least. So she’s either hiding out with Lucifer somewhere or she’s in jail. Probably jail.

But, my life is good at least. I always did like feisty ladies.

The Third Man

* * *

**Entry 83**

**Title:** Dean Winchester

 **By:** Dean Winchester

Fine, you caught me. I’m not actually Dean Winchester. I’m better than him, in fact. And I do know what happened between him and Alastair, even if he doesn’t talk about it. There were a few of us who got to see. It was…quite a night. Any of his little friends can tell you about it. I'm sure they remember what happened to him.

And I have good reasons for wanting to screw Dean over. He’s an asshole for starters and needs someone to teach him where his place is. I thought you’d learned it a long time ago, Dean. But it looks like the lesson didn’t stick. And a bunch of you were willing enough to believe I was him at first. You know how big of one he can be. There's truth in my words.

And I’ve got a personal vendetta against you, Winchester. I know you’re reading this. You sent all your little friends after me after all. You can go hang with that dyke. You deserve each other. So Winchester, get ready because this isn’t the last time you’ll hear from me. I’ll be lurking around here and you just wait. I’ll get you when you think you’re safe. Then I’ll tear you limb from weeping limb.

Picasso

* * *

**Entry 84**

**Title:** Entitled to the Ink on My Page

 **By:** The Rebellious One

Dean. I am so sorry. I just… I read the last entry and… I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like that. I feel so terrible for not giving you a chance and I shouldn’t have done that. God, I feel ridiculous and so judgmental. Like, I’m fighting against people being judgmental and I look like such a hypocrite. I’m so sorry. You’re going to find pie by your locker tomorrow. I know you love it and my pie is pretty good, so I hope it helps.

Hell’s Finest. I’m sorry that you’re so fucking pissed, but you said it yourself; I am entitled to emotions. I’m entitled to be pissed. I’ll make sure that I don’t argue with my siblings over the post here like Queen of Moondor requested (Glad to see you back!), but I have every right to vent here just like you have every right to post that shit storm in here.

I don’t think you get it. You had your father taken from you and for that I’m deeply sorry, but my family is willingly giving me up. They don’t care! At least your father cared! Mine is upstairs doing God knows what and the rest are spread so thinly I never see them! I get it! I get how it feels to be blinding furious and do stupid things and you’re right. I’m not scared. I’m glad you know who I am so you can face me then instead of shitting “on people anonymously in this bullshit book.”

Rebellious

* * *

**Entry 85**

**Title:** Hello There!

 **By:** Blonde with Brains

Hello! I’ve never written in here, but it looks awfully interesting. Doctor Badass, if you would put something sweet on there? One of my friends is having a rough week and he needs some cheering up. He’s a health freak, but he always talks about his brother making him pie!

Rebellious, if you think your family doesn’t love you, then think again. Haven’t you been looking at what they’ve written? Trickster showed a lot of concern for you last week and knows you’ve been struggling. And Comatose is defending you this week. They really do care. You aren’t being abandoned at all! You should listen to Sex on Wheels and try a bit harder with your family.

Also, is Mr. Adler really this mean all the time?

Blonde with Brains

* * *

**Entry 86**

**Title:** Love Doctor

 **By:** Doctor Badass

I’m back! And Moondor, I missed your entry at the beginning of the week! Glad to see you back. Was worried that all this charm intimidated you too much. I know I can be quite charming if I want to be. It can be a real struggle with the ladies. The emails. What do you want to do about that? Because if they’re giving you detention now, suspension can’t be too far off.

And Blondie, you got it. You go snag that boy already. Sounds like you like him pretty bad, eh? I’ll have them cook up some special pie just for you two. And Zachariah is a dick all the time so it’s not out of place at all. He really shouldn’t be a teacher. How the hell did he get this job anyways? He doesn’t seem to enjoy it and he’s always complaining about the bad pay on it. Really, the dude’s better suited for a cubicle. The dude is generally just an ass anyways so just steer clear as much as you can.

But…here’s your menu.

Monday: Salad

Tuesday: Pizza. Cheese and Pepperoni.

Wednesday: Always Tacos.

Thursday: Burger and Pie for dessert.

Friday: Nachos

Until next week, mis compadres!

* * *

**Entry 87**

**Title:** Chpater 4

 **By:** Carver Edlund

Earth is actually the set to one giant TV show. It was originally a scripted show, the first two actors being a couple named Adam and Eve. However, due to failing ratings after the first few seasons, it became the biggest reality TV show ever attempted.

There are even still copies of the original script lying around. But over the years, it’s become greatly misinterpreted.

We know it as the Bible.

Carver Edlund

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dif-tor heh smusma is "Live long and prosper" in Vulcan.


	7. Week 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is up with Castiel Novak again. I don’t know what, but something is up. He’s in the corner, seething. Like, Castiel is pretty much a robot most of the time, but right now he looks so angry and I’ve never seen him like this before.  
> But anyways. Balthazar is strutting around like a peacock which means either he got laid this weekend or Britain has come to take over America. Wonder which.

**Entry 88**

**Title:** I’m running out of title ideas

 **By:** Sex on Wheels

Dude, we’re a third of the way through first semester! And I’m a sixth of the way through senior year! I’m gonna be done soon! Hells yeah!

Moondor, good to see you back! Had us worried for a bit.

Doctor Badass, I can’t even respond to your post. Half of it was so boring I wanted to die because Roman is so boring I usually want to die in his class and the other half had me laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. I’m keeping Roman Dick. Keeping it, using it, spreading it like wildfire. And fuck yes with the pie! Keep it. Keep it keep it keep it. Keep the pie! Do apple next!

Comatose, I see your Vulcan sign and I officially declare you savvy enough to be considered a Trekkie. Welcome aboard, Commander. If you ever figure out who I am, come over and we’ll marathon the movies. Also, have you seen Star Wars because if you haven’t, that’s a good series. Also, Marvel movies are important. And the Batman trilogy. Because you know, Batman is awesome. If you don’t know Batman, pretend you do or I may have to break off this friendship right now.

Captain of The Ship. Stop. Stop, right now. There’s nothing going on between Comatose and me. We’re friends. We watch Star Trek and I call him Spock because he’s an emotionless robot and I imagine he has weird eyebrows (I don’t know, Comatose, do you have weird eyebrows?). It doesn’t mean I wanna screw the guy.

Carver, the hell was that?! That was awesome! Completely blew me away. I mean, have you considered drawing that out because you could create some really interesting science fiction out of that and dare I say, I might actually read that. I’m a Vonnegut kind of guy and that sounds right up my alley.

Sex on Wheels

* * *

**Entry 89**

**Title:** Pop Culture, the Final Frontier

 **By:** Mr. Comatose

I am happy to say that my brother says I have quite normal eyebrows, though I can do the one eyebrow lift so I don’t know if that qualifies them as weird. It is very helpful in keeping the Spock analogy. And I’m glad that you’ve come to view us as friends. Our friendship makes me very happy. Also, I have indeed watched Star Wars at the insistence of one of my friends last year. And I do know Batman I can assure. I’ll watch the trilogy after I finish Next Generation.

Captain of the Ship, please refrain from shipping me with Sex on Wheels. Though I do admire him, I would never choose to make him uncomfortable in such a way. Cease and desist this shipping.

Carver, that was an excellent piece. Truly excellent. The delivery was well done so that the plot twist was unexpected but not carelessly thrown in. However, in the first line when you write “scripted show,” the repetition of “show” when looking at the previous sentence as well can sound awkward. You might change this to “It was originally scripted, but…” and so on. The piece was well executed except for the minor technical error. Well done.

Comatose

* * *

**Entry 90**

**Title:** Updates!

 **By:** Gumby Girl

Something is up with Castiel Novak again. I don’t know what, but something is up. He’s in the corner, seething. Like, Castiel is pretty much a robot most of the time, but right now he looks so angry and I’ve never seen him like this before. Dean’s been trying to cheer him up, but Castiel just isn’t taking to it and I’ve been watching them for a good twenty minutes and it’s weird. They’re talking in really low whispers and I didn’t even know Dean was that good of friends with Castiel. I mean, they started hanging out this year and stuff, but they look awfully close which is weird.

And Dean is doing better. Now that the whole issue about the imposter has gotten a little clearer, a lot of the heat on him has disappeared and he’s doing a lot better. It’s good to see. Now if we could only catch that damn kid. It’s hilarious though. Half the school is talking about it and most of the teachers still have no idea what’s going on.

But anyways. Balthazar is strutting around like a peacock which means either he got laid this weekend or Britain has come to take over America. Wonder which.

And Meg is back. Third Man was right, it was jail, but only for the night. After that she was hiding out with Lucifer. She’s as insufferable as always, but still, wonder what screwed her up so bad last week. No one actually knows except for Meg herself and well… yeah, it’s staying a secret I guess.

Also, football, you guys! Seriously, you’re neglecting football! We’re supposed to live off this stuff! High school glory days and all that shit. And when I look in those stands, what do I see? Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. Come on! The cheerleaders are hot and the players are hot so win for all genders (Recently learned there’s more than two. Still getting used to it, but then again, still getting used to lesbians) and free entertainment. It’s fun! And I’m not cheering to air this Friday so get your asses into the stands!

I mean it!

Gumby

* * *

**Entry 91**

**Title:** And on the seventh day, I rested

 **By:** The Rebellious One

My weekend was interesting. I mean at first it was awful. The Archangel came back again, specifically so he could deal with me and my rebelliousness (ha!), and we fought. A lot. Loudly. And then the Trickster came back when everything was quiet and everything went to hell. The Archangel figured out he was still in the picture and there was a lot of shouting and threats of restraining orders, so I ran upstairs and they forgot about me for pretty much the rest of the weekend. But I mean, the Trickster is kinda estranged and he’s annoying sometimes, but he’s still my brother and I miss him and I hope the Archangel doesn’t ban him completely.

But then I got the chance to blow off some steam in the best way possible and now I feel ready enough to take on the rest of this shit week and the rest of my family. I mean, Comatose is pissed at me, but I don’t care at the moment and the Archangel is staying for a week or two I think, but other than that, everything should be mostly normal.

Gumby, good to see you out and educating yourself. See, Third Man, the lesson’s starting to take. She’s not that bad. She’s taking the right steps. She’s better than Bite Me at least. I’m betting that he rears his ugly head soon and we get even more to bitch about, but that’s just my guess.

Rebellious

* * *

**Entry 92**

**Title:** Idiot Boys

 **By:** Hell’s Finest

Gumby Girl, you little gossip, Castiel and Balthazar are fighting at the moment. And it’s war, lots of words and anger thrown about. Everyone who has eyes knows that they’re really close. But they aren’t talking at all now and it’s leaving Balthazar in a pissy mood all the time and Cas just needs to get over himself. They won’t even acknowledge each other in class or at lunch. They won’t sit near each other, look at each other. And it’s really damn annoying. Balthazar needs to admit that he fucked up, but Castiel really needs to get the stick out of his ass.

Either ways, they’re both idiots and I’m sick of hearing about them. Anyone got anything interesting to talk about this week? It’s all stupid gossip and Carver, your stories are great, but they’re kinda short and heard one, heard them all. Vaguely sci-fi with a plot twist at the end. I’m so bored and you guys have nothing to help. How the fuck am I supposed to survive English with nothing interesting?!

Hell’s Finest

* * *

**Entry 93**

**Title:** I’m surrounded by idjits

 **By:** So Sioux Me

What the hell do you idjits think you’re doing?! Of all the ill thought out, harebrained, idiot schemes you could come up with, it has to be this?! I mean, first of all, it’s just plain stupid and half of you write in it during my class when you think I’m not looking and I should have confiscated it sooner and if that’s just my class, can you imagine what’s going on in other classes? You’re just asking for trouble! Second of all, you’re all obvious so quit it! I recognize almost all my students in here and that is just weird in itself. And third, I don’t have the time for this. You don’t have the time for this! I mean, you’re always complaining about how much homework you have to do and I’m required to keep assigning it to you, but you never seem to get it done so how do you have time for this?

You’re all asking for trouble and of course as soon as I go to confront Jodie about this she tells me that I have to let it go because it’s a class project! I have to let her idiot student do idiot things and you can be sure that it’ll come back to bite me in the ass because that’s just what happens with this kind of crap thing. So just, stop being stupid at least.

And Sex on Wheels, what kind of a name is that?! Idjit, don’t name yourself after your car! You’re obvious as it is! You don’t need to help matters along!

There’s not enough whiskey in the world to help me deal with this.

So Sioux Me

* * *

**Entry 94**

**Title:** Calcifer the Dog

 **By:** Lilith

Welcome to story time with Lilith. Hell’s Finest is bored and stupid enough to ask for a story so she’ll get one. It’s one of my favorites.

Once, when I was very young, my parents hit a dog with the car. My poor mother was stricken with horror and resolved to go outside, despite my frail father’s best insistence. So she found the dog and bundled him up in her best coat and took him back into the car. We turned around and came home despite the fact that it was my seventh birthday and we had been headed out to dinner. And my dear mother fawned over that dog. He had no collar so she automatically assumed it was a stray and vowed to take him into our home.

We named him Calcifer.

Calcifer was a horrible dog, some sort of mix between Boxer and Labrador. He had one eye that was sort of lopsided and one ear that never moved and he walked with a sort of hop skip because my parents hit him with the car. And despite his sad appearance, my mother loved him, often times I thought more than me. And then one day, I told Calcifer he was ugly and he bit my arm and I bled a lot. My mother took me to the doctor, sure that I had rabies. I didn’t. My mother was sure that I had provoked Calcifer. I hadn’t. I was sent to my room without supper, despite the fact that it was my eighth birthday.

Calcifer loved hunting pigeons and that was how I became friends with him. He would kill a pigeon and he’d bring it to the house and I was the only one who would praise him. After a while, he just brought the pigeons to me. This made my mother angry because she thought the pigeons got my clothes dirty. They did. She took one of Calcifer’s pigeons and he bit her. She went to the doctor, sure that she had rabies. She didn’t.

They put Calcifer down, despite the fact that it was my ninth birthday.

I think my parents forgot what day my birthday was.

Lilith

* * *

**Entry 95**

**Title:** Written on the subway walls

 **By:** The Prophet

Woah! This is some project you’ve got going here, Sex on Wheels. I have a friend who’s been telling me to check this out for weeks, but I haven’t had the chance to snag this. Someone always gets there before me. But here I am. I don’t know if I’ll have anything terribly interesting to write, but apparently I can tell the future. It comes to me in dreams and so far everything has been correct, but it could just be luck. Still, I think I can do predictions and shit because they’ve never been wrong for standardized testing.

Anyways, I have the image of this girl. She’s African American and she’s crying, really crying. Like, I think she might be having a panic attack. They have to take her from school because the crying is so bad and her hands won’t stop shaking. The Journal is on her desk, open. And I think that’s the reason she’s crying, but that’s all I’ve got.

That’s all I’ve got.

The Prophet

* * *

**Entry 96**

**Title:** Pamela Barnes

 **By:** Bite Me

Man, Lilith, you are fucked up. Shit, I remember that dog. You fucking loved that thing. And that bastard was a brute, always chasing the pigeons and god, it caught one almost every single day it felt like. And that time when Alastair fed it a sea gull just to see if it would eat it. And then it did. God, that was one fucked up dog. No wonder you loved it.

And Rebellious, since you insisted in that fuck all attitude you have.

Pamela Barnes. Shit, she’s really fucking hot. I mean for a teacher, she’s got curves like nothing else and God, I haven’t learned a goddamn thing in her class. She’s just so damn distracting. How the hell does she get away with wearing that kind of shit to school?! And that mouth on her. Bet she’d say the worst things in bed. I heard she’s a real drinker too down at Harvelle’s and that she slept with a student once. Bet I could do her. Bet I could.

Bite Me

* * *

**Entry 97**

**Title:** Chapter 5

 **By:** Carver Edlund

Originally people had a third eye in the back of their head. They said that the iris was the color of a person’s soul and therefore the eyes were extremely important. They could be used to tell the basics of a person’s character and whether they were to be considered a threat or not, so people kept their hair short so the eye would be always revealed. The eye is still obvious in signs all through history, the chief being the Eye of Rah, a symbol revered in Egypt.

However, in the third century, one of the first global phenomena occurred. The eyes were all mysteriously sewn shut. All across the globe, around the same time. The timing is suggested to be around 247 AD and all eyes are thought to have been shut within months of each other. Regions that had no contact with each other acted in the exact same way without explanation.

Eventually we evolved so these eyes were no longer necessary, leading to today when the third eye is no longer upon us.

No one knew why the eyes were shut until a couple weeks ago. However, there was a great discovery within the depths of Israel. Archaeologists found a body dating back to the third century, still covered in skin and hair, still in perfect working condition.

With a third eye. Open.

The eye was black.

Carver

* * *

**Entry 98**

**Title:** Nothing really new going on here

 **By:** Knife Collection

Fuck, that was creepy. Ahahahahahaha. *Nervous laughter* Not okay, Carver. Not okay. Shit, I’m gonna have nightmares.

Anyways, really guys, Cas will be fine. Just chill. He’s dealing with some shit at the moment and it doesn’t need to public. Just let him and his family be. You hear? Honestly, I love the lot of you but you can be vultures when it comes to other people’s personal lives and it really has to stop. Cas is dealing with things and this sure isn’t helping. So if I see you guys put this out there, I will hunt you down. I’ve got knives. And guns. Big guns.

Prophet, interesting talent you’ve got there. Cassie Robinson would be my first guess for the girl since I would guess that she reads the Journal, but she doesn’t cry and she doesn’t have panic attacks. So I think maybe you’re just dreaming. Still, I’ll keep my eyes open for anything that resembles it.

And Bite Me, you ass, you’re too much of a coward to ever get close to her and Pamela would eat you alive. She’s a family friend and fuck, she would destroy you within a matter of seconds. She’s never slept with a student and if she did, it certainly wouldn’t be with your greasy ass. So fuck off and don’t ever even mention her again; I don’t care what anyone says. Fuck you.

Knife Collection

* * *

**Entry 99**

**Title:** Moose are generally stupid creatures

 **By:** Moose

I think I might do something stupid. Not too stupid. Just regular stupid. Maybe a little less than stupid actually. I mean, my brother’s done it and he’s okay now. Oh well, I have a friend who says if I don’t try anything new that I won’t learn anything. I think she would like my brother. She’s certainly got the bitchy attitude to match his.

Either way, I’m at my wit’s end trying to deal with both my brother and my dad. My dad’s drunk and annoyed with everything and everyone and my brother’s coping in his own way. Luckily, he’s got a couple distractions to keep him from home, but I’ve got no such luck. I’ve managed to avoid arguing with my dad for now, but it’s all going to go downhill soon. Oh well. It’ll be no different than every other time.

Still, school is a nice relief from home. I have friends here and there’s this one cute girl. And now I’ve got a new friend. And I might try something just a teeny bit stupid. We’ll see what happens.

Moose

* * *

**Entry 100**

**Title:** ENTRY 100! Oh yeah! Also, Juniors are Assholes

 **By:** Gumby Girl

Congrats guys, we made it to entry 100! Yahoo!

Moose, if you think it’s stupid, then why are you going to do it? Your brother may have been okay, but that doesn’t mean you will. Don’t. Just walk away from whatever it is. Just walk away.

And I finally found out what happened to Castiel and Balthazar and why Balthazar was strutting around like he owned the school. I was right the first time; Balthazar hooked up over the weekend. With Anna Novak, Cas’s sister. His sister! No wonder Cas is pissed! Apparently, Cas didn’t even know and Anna was using it as some revenge thing against her family. Cas is pissed at Balthazar for not only screwing his sister, but for taking her side as well.

What the hell was Balthazar thinking, getting caught up in a family feud like that and going along with it?! She’s not thinking straight and she’s angry, of course she’s going to be doing something stupid! And of course Balthazar has to be the asshole who’s oh so willing to say yes. Juniors are such assholes. Those two are going to get into a world of trouble. Anna should never have asked, but Balthazar should never have said yes.

He should have known it wasn’t going to end well. And now look at what’s happened, Cas and Balthazar can’t even stand to be in the same room. Their friendship could very well be ruined. I don’t know what’s going to happen to them at all. I don’t know enough about their friendship, but they very well could never be friends again. This is just fucked up.

* * *

**Entry 101**

**Title:** Vultures on the carcass of a social reputation

 **By:** The Rebellious One

Leave Cas and Balthazar the fuck alone! You know what, Cas deserves to be angry because that was really awful of Anna and Balthazar to do to him and maybe Anna made a mistake, but that doesn’t mean you can make it public spectacle. Just leave them alone! Knife Collection asked you to stop, but of course you just have to keep posting about it, you fucking vultures!

How about you give them some peace? I know it’s a foreign concept, but work with me here! This is a private matter and it doesn’t need to be the conversation of the week! And why are you blaming Balthazar? Anna’s the one who asked him probably. Anna’s the one who’s rebelling against her family. Anna’s the one who persuaded him. Anna’s the one who deserves the blame, not Balthazar! He doesn’t deserve that!

Rebellious

* * *

**Entry 102**

**Title:** I’m fairly sure this school is Judecca

 **By:** The King of Hell

So Sioux Me, Love, the rotgut trash that you drink hardly qualifies as whisky. And there is more than enough of that abysmal drink in this world. No need to ask for more. Can’t you have a little taste in your liquor? You’re just going to kill your liver if you keep drinking anyways.

And the rest of you, I thought I made it clear that you should all clear out because this is ridiculous, but apparently the message didn’t take hold because I had to confiscate this during one of my classes and you’re all bloody obvious. I should really turn this in, especially because now we’ve got this impersonator going on and that really does explain why Winchester’s been in such a bad mood in my class, but I still have no proof of anyone so I can’t. And Lilith, would you just create a goddamn pseudonym already? Your dog story is disturbing and I really think you need some therapy and this would all be so much easier to ignore if I wasn’t constantly staring at your name.

You’re all screwed to kingdom come but I guess I may as well enjoy the ride. So, Doctor Badass, though you probably hardly deserve the title, you do provide good food. Enchiladas this Wednesday or I turn the Journal in. And I will make good on my threat. That’s all.

King of Hell

* * *

**Entry 103**

**Title:** Elegant Redheads and their Feminine Wiles

 **By:** The Third Man

I’m pretty sure Balthazar knew he was being used. I mean, Anna’s a pretty emotional individual and she doesn’t bother to hide much. She probably didn’t hide it from him and even if she did, he’s smart and he would recognize when someone was using him for angry sex that was way too conveniently timed.

And Balthazar does deserve some of the blame, Rebellious. Sure, Anna probably orchestrated the entire thing and it was her act of rebellion in the end, but Balthazar also had to say yes and he had to go through with it too. Unless it was nonconsensual, then then he’s just as much at fault as she is, so don’t put all the blame on her. He fucked up too.

But, in the end, who could resist the charms of such an elegant redhead? I did say they were my weakness way back when. Anna, if you’d care to pencil me into your schedule?

The Third Man

* * *

**Entry 104**

**Title:** Why are teachers awful?

 **By:** Blonde with Brains

Doctor Badass, please listen to King of Hell! I mean, it’s awful that he’s blackmailing you, but he would actually turn the Journal in probably! So please, just give him the enchiladas. It sucks and I get it, but I don’t want the Journal to get turned in so soon after I’ve found it. And it is Sex on Wheels's project and everything.

And by the way, thanks so much for the pie! He loved it! And okay so maybe I have a crush on him, but he doesn’t know so shh! He’s not even feeling that great either. Really tired this week.

Also, Mr. Adler is completely screwing up our class. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about half the time and the other half is spent yelling at students for not understanding. And when anyone tries to correct him, he just docks them points and it’s all such crap. Why the hell is teaching freshman? He’s just a creep and he doesn’t deserve to be here. I wish he’d get fired. He’s such an ass.

Blonde with Brains

* * *

**Entry 105**

**Title:** Motherfucking Enchiladas

 **By:** Doctor Badass

Apparently, my menu is up for grabs. Fuck you, King of Hell. I wouldn’t have done it, but I have Blondie begging me to listen to you and I happen to like her. She’s a cute freshman. And she thanked me for my pie which is more than you’ve done! And this is someone’s project. So I’ll respect them. But you, you can go down to the deepest depths of Hell and fuck off.

Here’s the shit menu for the week:

Monday: Burgers with tater tots.

Tuesday: Fucking enchiladas.

Wednesday: Tacos.

Thursday: Salad bar and apple pie for Blondie and Sex on Wheels.

Friday: Nachos.

One of these days, we’ll make it to Friday and they will give me my nachos. They will. It’s only a matter of time. I will get my nachos. I will.

Doctor Badass

* * *

**Entry 106**

**Title:** Finished

 **By:** Money and Silk Sheets

Well, Sex on Wheels, it’s been a while. Missed me? I’ve been keeping an eye on this ever since you snubbed me. Us girls can sure hold a grudge in case you didn’t know. Looking back now, I’m glad I didn’t invest in this on the impulse I had back then. Stupid idea. I wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole today.

I mean, you’ve got drama central which can be good if you’re looking to control gossip, which I doubt you are. You don’t really seem the type. You’ve got Lilith and her fucked up stories if you’re looking to disgust people. That dog was indeed awful and I remember watching it kill those pigeons in grade school and Lilith is just disgusting in herself. And you’ve got students either cursing out or wanting to bang teachers. And where’s your little suicidal poster? Didn’t see him this week. Wonder if he finally keeled over and died of self-pity.

This is a fucked up place, Sex on Wheels and it’s got potential, but that potential isn’t going to come to fruition. Count me glad that I’m not stuck in here with the rest of you.

Money and Silk Sheets

* * *

**Entry 107**

**Title:** That One Lunch Menu

 **By: The** Queen of Moondor

Doctor Badass, as if your charm could endanger me. I’ll have you know that I’m taken and quite happily so. Our avatars are dating and everything. And in terms of the emails, just leave them. I haven’t gotten any more this week so I’m just going to keep an ear to the ground. I don’t know what they’re doing. It’s all strangely silent, but I haven’t gotten called into Naomi’s yet so I think I’m in the clear. Not sure. This is all weird how they’re handling it. I should have been issued a suspension this week based on the discipline programs at my last school, but apparently that’s not how they fly here.

Everything else is good. And Wednesday tacos are good too so thanks for those. God, I love me some crunchy goodness, but really the lack of toppings they have is just outlandish. And the lettuce is always so soggy. They do no justice to your menu. None whatsoever.

And oi, Money and Silk Sheets! The hell are you saying?! Why don’t you say that without a pseudonym to hind behind, eh?! You little roach. If we were on a computer, I’d have your real name thrown on here in an instant. If you think you’re so much better than us why are you still posting?! Get out of here! No one cares!

Moondor out!

Moondor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also guys. At the very end, I will be posting an extra chapter as requested with all sorts of information such as:  
> \- The identities of all characters and why they were named what they were.  
> \- Why they acted the way they did.  
> \- Personal headcanons within this universe.  
> \- Certain things that didn't make it into the journal but may have happened during the year.
> 
> Is there anything else you would like to see in there?


	8. Week 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like it’s Monday morning, how the fuck are you so awake? It’s too early for that. Go back to sleep or something and leave us to our quite angry morning. Your friends have every right to be pissed at you if you gotta be the damn energizer bunny this early.

**Entry 108**

**Title:** GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM!

**By:** Sex on Wheels

Happy Monday! And Good morning to all you losers stuck here like me! I had way too much coffee this morning so I’m actually awake for once! And don't my friends hate me for it!

Comatose, I know you’re a bit naïve when it comes to things and that’s all fine and dandy, but you can’t just say you admire a dude. You can’t do that here. It makes you sound like you love him and that’s a big thing to say in Kansas when you’re a dude. I’m trying to watch out for you so don’t… don’t say it unless you mean it. Kay, man?

Lilith, you and that damn story. I swear you tell it every chance you get. That fucking dog was a nightmare. I’m still surprised you didn’t put him down sooner. And where the fuck did you even come up with a name like Calcifer? What kind of name is that? But I thought it was Friday the 13th though when everything happened. I don’t remember it being on your birthday. Losing your memory so quickly?

Prophet, that is some wacky shit you got going on. I mean, my guess is also Cassie, but I don’t understand why anything in here would make her cry. Cassie’s a girl with some tough skin. Nothing would break her down like that. Especially, not in public. I mean, there’s also Tamara but she’s another tough skinned girl. So your guess is as good as mine.

Sex on Wheels

* * *

**Entry 109**

**Title:** Kiss and Tell

**By:** Gumby Girl

The fuck, Wheels? Like it’s Monday morning, how the fuck are you so awake? It’s too early for that. Go back to sleep or something and leave us to our quite angry morning. Your friends have every right to be pissed at you if you gotta be the damn energizer bunny this early.

Holy Shit! Balthazar came to school with a black eye today! I’m pretty sure Cas hit him over sleeping with Anna. I mean, that is a relationship I thought would never fracture. Those guys have been friends forever! You think there’s any chance that those two could work things out? Anna should never have slept with Balthazar, but it was a mistake. Can’t he forgive them?

But I have better news than that guys! There was a staff party over the weekend, not sure what about. I mean, I wasn’t there obviously, but I heard that Crowley and Mr. Singer got really drunk and kissed each other and I’m gonna ask after class. Also, on that note, Crowley’s class is so boring. Like, I don’t care about economics. When the hell am I going to use this in my life? I want to be a yoga instructor, maybe raise a kid. I’m not investing in the stock market.

This is Hell! Like seriously, dividends and yields and market shares and all this junk. If I’m not investing then it’s not interesting… hey that kinda rhymed. But seriously, I’m bored out of my mind. Why couldn’t we have a class that’s more useful?

Wait… class just ended, I’m gonna go ask.

\---

Guys. OH MY GOD, GUYS, Crowley said it happened. He said it actually happened! It was a little bristly and Mr. Singer uses too much tongue apparently. Life, first of all, I did not need to know how good a kisser Mr. Singer is. But second, holy shit! He’s saying it actually happened! What the hell?! I want to ask Mr. Singer, but… I don’t want to get shot. Someone else want to give it a try? Someone who has a better relationship with him?

And apparently someone got Mr. Adler this weekend, egged his house and everything. He deserves it obviously, but oh man, I pity the poor freshmen who have him today. He is not gonna be in a good mood at all. One time when a bird crapped on his car, he gave us an extra chapter of reading and a second assignment. All due next class. It was brutal. I wish you guys luck.

Gumby

* * *

**Entry 110**

**Title:** I’m fine!

**By:** Moose

Okay, so I tried the stupid thing and it was extremely stupid. I shouldn’t have done it. And my brother yelled at me for about an hour after he found out. But I’m not gonna do it again so it’s all good. See, learning from my mistakes. Thanks for your guys’ advice though. I twas much appreciated.

Anyways, thanks for the heads up, Gumby. I’ll keep an eye out. I don't have him which I'm pretty lucky for, but I have a friend who has him fourth period and the warning will help her out. She’s got this whole stubborn streak that doesn’t agree well with Mr. Adler so they can butt heads a lot. I’m right down the hall from her so I get to hear all their “literary arguments.” God, she’s great.

Moose

* * *

**Entry 111**

**Title:** Just Forget it

**By:** Mr. Comatose

But I do admire you greatly, Sex on Wheels. There is a lot of ingenuity in this project and you seem to be a genuinely kind person. You’re courage and your humor is always a welcome addition to my day. You care about all the people who write in the Journal, taking interest in helping my sister and others such as Gumby Girl when she was wrote a drunk post. It is the factors such as these that make me admire you.

I apologize. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or to imply romance. I meant that I’d admired many qualities about you much in the way a friend would. Your friendship is extremely valuable to me. I wouldn’t do anything to endanger it. Never.

Just forget I said anything.

Comatose

* * *

**Entry 112**

**Title:** Screw this class, he just pisses me off

**By:** Blonde with Brains

For anyone who has Mr. Adler today or tomorrow or for the rest of his godforsaken life, he’s angry. And terrifying. Really damn terrifying. One of the girls in my class, Ava, forgot her homework at home. He yelled at her for a solid five minutes and made her cry. And then he just kept going. And going. When another girl, Jessica, tried to stick up for Ava, he threw her out of the classroom and sent her to Naomi's office. She wound up with detention for two weeks. And all she was doing was trying to help out a friend when a teacher overstepped his boundaries.

And Adler can just get away with it, the asshole. Naomi backs him up all the time and covers for him. He was the one who lost his cool. He was the one who made Ava cry. This is all his fault! Why the hell does Jessica get the blame when she was just trying to help?! Who the hell does he think he is?! Yeah, I get his house got egged and that’s awful, but that doesn’t mean he can take that out on us! This is just cruel!

Blondie

* * *

**Entry 113**

**Title:** Problems being addressed

**By;** So Sioux Me

What the hell is Crowley doing, spreading a rumor like this? It ain’t true in the slightest so you can all just calm down. No one kissed anybody. Crowley is just trying to pull one over you guys in the way that he does. He’s a bastard and he knows teenagers eat this kind of shit up. Remember the incident last year?

You’re falling right into his trap and this is exactly what he wants. He’s playing a prank on Mr. Singer. And he’s being a damn idjit in the process so just stop talking about the entire thing. You’re only going to make his ego that much bigger and it’ll just make his class that much worse. You’ve never seen him when he wins something. His head gets so inflated, he could float away.

Do me a favor and save me the agonizing experience of sharing a staff room with that.

As a staff member, I will talk to Adler about his… I don’t know, there’s a whole mess of problems with that guy. He's just kinda a short bald guy filled with anger, stupid stupid anger. I’ll see what I can do to help you guys though. This really takes the cake on his anger issues.

Also, to the student who thought it would be fun to hide their stash of vodka behind the vending machine, it’s been uncovered. Don’t do it again, ya damn idjit. If it appears there again, they'll send someone after you. And Andy Gallagher, if you’re on here, stop lighting up in the bathroom. You smell like the stuff all the day and all you’re doing is making the bathroom rank. You're not being sneaky in the slightest.

So Sioux Me

* * *

**entry to the levels of insanity that plague my mind**

**title:** if it keeps on raining, the levee’s going to break

**by:** esau’s legacy

everything was so much easier before i cared what other people thought. i did stupid things. i let everything consume me and went with their anger until i could no longer tell their hate from mine. we sat back and hated the world together and that was great.

he gave me everything, an escape. i was gone half the time, drunk and buzzed out of my fucking mind on the shit he gave me. it was heaven. the fucking was heaven too. he didn’t care that i was broken and bruised and twisted into a thousand different directions that were anywhere but there. i don’t think he cared at all. i was just another fuck, just another drug, just another person who his hate could consume and that was all he needed. And i was fine with it because that was all i wanted, to be consumed by anything other than the reality which was presented to me.

anything was better than reality.

i just wanted something to swallow me alive and he provided it.

and then came the angel. he saved me, saved me from the demons and myself. goddamnit. no one asked him to and now he’s stuck by my side. he’s too good to be around someone so poisonous like me. i’ll kill him. i won’t mean to, but it’ll happen.

he needs to run. surely his instincts have shown him i’m dangerous, that he shouldn’t stay around me. i mean, he found me when i was fucking high with a foreign hand shoved down my pants. i’m so fucking dirty. he doesn’t deserve this, this fucked up me. he deserves so much more and yet he stays and he’s killing himself being around me. he’s drowning and i’m the one causing it and i don’t know how he keeps pretending that’s not the case.

one of these days he’s going to realize how fucked i am and he’s going to leave. or maybe he’ll just realize that he’s too good for me. either way, it needs to happen soon. ~~i can’t take much more of this.~~

he needs to run.

so why doesn’t he?

fuck, why doesn’t he just leave?! why can’t he just leave already?! this is all his fault! this is all his fucking fault! maybe i didn’t want to be saved! i didn’t deserve it so why the fuck did he save me?! fuck him! i didn’t ask for this! i don’t want this. i can’t. i can’t want this.

esau’s legacy

* * *

**Entry 115**

**Title:** A Letter to the Deserving

**By: The** Rebellious One

Esau, Esau! Calm down! Let’s establish one thing first, you deserve to be saved. You deserve to want things! You deserve a second chance! Everyone deserves a second chance and he gave it to you so obviously he thinks you deserve it, so please, just take it. It’s okay to feel insecure. Everyone does. God knows I do, but don’t… don’t lash out against him because it’ll hurt him and he might not be able to take it. You don’t want to fuck up a relationship like this because it sounds like a good deal. It sounds like he really cares about you, so why not just let yourself be loved a little bit?

I mean, Comatose and I haven’t talked in a week because I fucked up and it’s killing me. I was stupid and I lashed out in my anger at our family and now I’ve destroyed our relationship. Don’t let that happen to you too. It sounds like this is good, for you, for him. You want this. It’s obvious you want this. So take it. So please. Just… don’t take your anger out on other people. They might not always come back when you do. They can’t.

Shit. I’m sorry, bro. I’m sorry I fucked up so bad. You deserve better than this and I fucked up. I’m so sorry.

Rebellious

* * *

**Entry 116**

**Title:** Smells Like Teen Spirit

**By:** Trickster

Hey kiddos, did ya miss me? Don’t worry, no itching powder this time and no worry about what Rebellious said last week. The Archangel (Really with the code names?) was more happy to see me than anything else since I don’t come around a lot and then The Devil got brought up in the conversation and that was the talk of restraining orders and all the shouting. Our family doesn’t exactly share the same view of him as Rebellious and I do.

They aren’t so generous with the second chances.

Anyways, things seem to be going swimmingly in here other than for you, Esau (Really, man, you should listen to the guys here and get some help). I don’t know how you’re all getting away with this though because the teachers in my day were never so easy to fool and I had Naomi when she still taught English. Yeah. I’m ancient. And let me see, there was also… Rufus, Bobby’s friend. He would have loved this. Maybe I could have gotten away with it if he was my teacher. And there was… Mr. Creaser! Martin Creaser! You know, the old PE teacher who went nutso! He probably would have missed this actually. Never would have seen it.

But not the point.

Actually, I don’t know what the point is. I kinda just came in here to say hi and check up because sister dear seems so attached to this and brother dear is always mentioning Mr. Sex over there and now I can see why he’s been so frazzled this week and the rest of you are so… interesting, more interesting than everyone outside at least.

Seriously, I don’t remember the last time I heard a story about a dog that didn’t make me want to throw myself off a bridge. But Lilith, I like you.

Trickster

* * *

**Entry 117**

**Title:** Chapter 6

**By:** Carver Edlund

Here’s something funny because I frightened Knife Collection last week and because Hell’s Finest thinks I lack variety. Fuck that, have some prose.

An Ode to Mr. Crowley’s Second Period Economics Class

_To leave Hell, one must dig themselves out. This proves to be a most arduous task if one does not have a shovel._

_As Hell does not approve of leaving, it will not provide you with a shovel._

_Once you have acquired a shovel or have settled for using your hands (in this case, you must bring finger splints), you must begin the long journey of tunneling. Though this work is very hard and exhausting and crippling, you will find that it has a strangely beautiful and very terrifying panorama, consisting of: volatile memories, magma, hellhounds, and much more! Fighting off these things can prove to be a most arduous task if one does not have a weapon such as a shovel._

_As Hell does not approve of leaving, it will not provide you with a shovel._

_Presuming that you survive these ordeals, and the many more that lie ahead, you have years’ worth of work ahead of you._

_A note: Hell does not provide insurance for any damage sustained on this trip, nor does it claim responsibility for any stolen items, such as shovels you may have once had. If you are injured in any way, including, but not limited to: broken bones, mental scarring, burns, insanity, and having your soul sucked out; Hell will not provide compensation._

_Good luck._

Carver

* * *

**Entry 118**

**Title:** This school is run by monsters

**By:** Knife Collection

What the hell is Adler doing?! I mean, does ANYONE like him? A lot of the staff are family friends so I know most of the staff hates him too. He’s just an asshole and I don’t get why Naomi keeps him on. It’s fucking ridiculous! And the hell is he doing yelling at a freshman?! This isn’t fair at all! The fuck does he think he’s doing?! God damn it, I’m so sorry, Blondie. That sucks. Adler’s usually an ass, but this is taking it to a new level. Someone really needs to complain about him. But what I’d really like to know is who egged his house. I would give that a guy a gold medal because if anyone deserves to get egged, it’s Adler.

And Carver, did you just turn Hell into an infomercial? I think you just did. Thanks for the laugh. God, that’s ridiculous. Because I’m pretty sure that Crowley’s class is actually some manifestation of Hell.

And Crowley did not kiss Bobby! Not in a million years! This is just Crowley being an idiot to get a rise out of the kids like he always does. Remember last year how he tried to convince us that he was actually a demon and how the freshman bought it? This is the same joke all over again and you’re all falling for it

ALL.

OVER.

AGAIN.

God, I am never going to be a teacher just so I don’t have to deal with this bullshit. This is some Grade A stupidity right here and I’m not going to be held accountable so all you know, I tried to stop it. I tried. But if you don’t believe me, then I tried. That’s it. Good luck, Bobby.

Knife

* * *

**Entry 119**

**Title:** Howdy, Folks

**By:** Texas Ranger

I asked Mr. Singer about the whole kiss thing. And I quote, “That idjit Fergus. Don’t listen to a thing Crowley says. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I swear to God, if this rumor gets anymore out of hand, I will hunt down the bastard myself.” So… maybe? I don’t know. I think Mr. Crowley might be spreading a rumor, especially because he and Mr. Singer are such good friends. But hell if I know.

Anyways, Doctor Badass, thanks for the food. It’s been awesome so far! Sorry that King of Hell is being awful and making you make enchiladas, but really they aren’t that bad all the time, even if the kitchen can’t cook them that well. They’re not too bad. Survivable even.

Also, Esau. Do you need a hug? It sounds like you really need a hug. When I figure out who you are, I’m gonna hug you. It’s a promise.

Texas Ranger

* * *

**Entry 120**

**Title:** The Devil is supposed to like fire, right?

**By:** Lilith

More story time with Lilith

Because I can’t help but preen in the limelight and you idiots are all in desperate need of some distraction.

One time last year, my parents were gone for the weekend. I brought this guy named Lucifer, one of the Novak kids, home from a party. He’s over at KU and dating Meg Masters now. And at the end of the night, I’m on the bed, relaxing. He says thanks for the fuck and he lights up in my room. Normally I don’t care, but this guy, this fucking bastard doesn’t even offer me a hit and then he says I’m not a half bad lay and that I should call him if I want to again sometime. Like his undersized dick is God’s gift to the entire damn world. Like I’m some cheap whore waiting for him!

Then he insults the picture of Calcifer I have in my room. And let me tell you something, I am the only one who gets to call that dog ugly because I got a fucking scar from it. He’s got nothing.

So a few minutes later when he’s really loose and out of it, I take his pants, his shirt, and his lighter and I go outside. The idiot, he’s calling from the room, looking out the window. “What are you doing, babe? Come on, I’ll give you a hit if you want. Don’t be mean. Hey, are those my clothes?! What are you doing?!”

And I set them on fire.

He starts shouting, running downstairs, but he’s only in his boxers so he doesn’t want to come outside. I throw his clothes in the street and they’re still burning. He finally runs after them, cursing the entire way, and while he’s out in the street, I go inside and lock the door.

When he bangs on the door, I threaten to call the police. Then I do.

He leaves.

Though I will admit, he wasn’t a half bad lay. He should call me if he wants to again sometime.

Lilith

PS: And for Wheels: Ironically, Calcifer was named after a fire demon from the book Howl's Moving Castle.

* * *

**Entry 121**

**Title:** I live in a world of idiots

**By:** Hell’s Finest

Lilith, I appreciate the stories, but really, at the end of the day, it’s just a dog and it’s just another ass. Yeah, you’re good at stretching a story, but come on, did you really set Lucifer’s pants on fire? I don’t really think so. The stories are good, but they can only get you so far before people start figuring out that you’re lying. It’s not true. 

Also, Balth is still nursing his black eye. Wimp. He won't shut up about the damn thing and if I hear one more pity party response I am going to give him another. Castiel did indeed hit him, bet that was a good sight to see that was. Now Cas won’t talk to Anna or to Balthazar. Cas is miserable. Anna is miserable. Balthazar is a little shit. Either way, they’re all idiots. But it’s all very dramatic and basically their lives have turned into a soap opera. What else is new?

Hell’s Finest

* * *

**Entry 122**

**Title:** Sorry, dude

**By:** Doctor Badass

Blondie, shit. I didn’t mean for him to take it out on you guys. This one is my bad. I kinda left him a little note saying that he shouldn’t pick on you guys and well, egging his house probably wasn’t a good idea, but I was trying to help. In a roundabout way… Crap, I should have thought it out better. Sorry. I didn’t mean for it to go so badly. Shit, I feel real bad about him taking it out on your class. That’s fucked up and he doesn’t deserve to teach here anymore.

Hell's Finest, I actually remember that when it happened. I have Cas, Lucifer's brother, in one of my classes and he told the story. It’s one of my favorites, man.

Here’s your menu for the week, with a little more variety for you:

Monday: Chicken soup for a friend that’s sick

Tuesday: Grilled Cheese

Wednesday TACOS

Thursday: Salad bar and pie

Friday: GIMME MY NACHOS

Doctor Badass

* * *

**Entry 123**

**Title:** Kiss and Tell Part 2

**By:** Gumby Girl

So that means that they totally did! Oh my god! Crowley and Bobby totally kissed. They totally fucking kissed! I mean, I didn’t know Bobby was gay! Like, the hell?! He runs shop and has a .45 and drinks beer like it’s water and somehow he’s gay? Like, it’s so weird to think of him like that. Or maybe he’s somewhere in the middle of the spectrum? Like, didn’t he have a wife or something? I don’t know, I’m still trying to figure all this sexuality business out. There’s so much to learn and why the hell aren’t we educated on this?! I mean, I don’t need economics for shit, but this is something that might be important. People are important!

And Crowley’s first name is really Fergus? No wonder he doesn’t tell anyone. Fergus, oh man. What is that, Scottish? His accent is English though. The hell, where did he even come from? I mean, he transferred in last year, but before that I have no idea anymore. That guy is an enigma.

And Carver, I appreciate that so much. I can appreciate that SO much. I hate Crowley’s class from here to infinity. And I’m taking it you do to. I feel you, man.

Gumby

* * *

**Entry 124**

**Title:** Football Games

**By:** Vampirate

Alright, so no game tonight, but we got a tournament a couple hours from here tomorrow. Buses head out from campus at seven in the morning. It’s early, but me and the brothers would sure appreciate it. We’re in a bit of tough spot and some cheering would help.

In terms of this supposed Singer/Crowley kiss. I’m pretty sure it’s bullshit. Really, I’ve been taking classes from Singer for as long as I’ve been here. He wouldn’t kiss Crowley, not in a million years. I’m pretty sure it’s just another rumor blown out of proportion. You would understand that Gumby. I’m not much good at figuring out rumors, not really my crowd, but I’m this one sounds pretty out there. Just saying.

Vampirate

* * *

**Entry 125**

**Title:** Dispelling Rumors

**By:** King of Hell

Well, since I'm an actual staff member and I was actually at the party unlike you rumour-driven children, I can say that it did happen. It was on a deal between him and Crowley though. He managed to steal four bottles of whisky from Crowley and that’s the true crime of this story. Bobby is as straight as they come, dears. He won’t be jumping ship anytime soon.

But it is rather hilarious to watch rumours like that get blown up over here when you don’t know the entire story. Thank you for the help, Gumby Girl, I’m sure that Bobby appreciated it very much.

Also it appears I missed the boat, but enchiladas as always next week for me, Doctor Badass, if only to keep your ego in check. And let’s make them beef. Just beef. They’re always too cheesy here. Ugh, I would kill to have some good Mexican food around here. You lot have missed out one of the best food groups known to man.

King of Hell

* * *

**Entry 126**

**Title:** I’m a piece of shit so I’m on my knees asking forgiveness

**By:** The Third Man

Shit. This week has been utter shit. And I’m utter shit. And this fucking Journal is the entire reason why this week has been utter shit. I really want to shut this thing down because this has caused nothing but problems for me and for so many other people, but I won’t. I’m just really fucking pissed at the world and after I’ll look back and regret this. I just need to go get high or something.

Maybe I’ll just go home and marathon “The Godfather.” I just need need a break so badly. This is all just really awful. My girlfriend is mad at me, but she’s hurting too so I don’t blame her or anything, and so is another one of my friends and it’s my fault.

I’m sorry, man. You know it’s me. You know who I am.

I’m sorry, so just, please forgive me.

The Third Man


	9. Week 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good morning and welcome to Hell, Juniors and Seniors.

**Entry 127**

**Title:** Highway to Hell

**By:** Sex on Wheels

Good morning and welcome to Hell, Juniors and Seniors. Underclassmen, you are so fucking lucky you don’t have to do take these goddamn midterms. We are a public high school. Who the hell gives them the right to do this? I’m not even in any advanced classes. I don’t care about my grades. I’m not even applying for college. All I wanna do is graduate!

Comatose, so I’m going to presume that at one point you’ll finish Star Trek. You kinda have to at this point. This is a vital point. You have to decide what you want to watch next. Now there are these shows called Hannibal and Game of Thrones if you haven’t heard and they’re pretty damn good. Marathoning it would be a lot of fun, especially since it’s finals week and most people decide now is the good time to get hooked on new shows. There’s also a bunch of classics if you want. Twilight Zone was always trippy, but fun. Buffy is good too. So, yeah, check it out.

Lilith, I swear to God. You better keep telling stories because they are the highlight of my week. They’re always so fucked up. It’s hilarious.

Crowley’s first name is Fergus. Oh man, that is rich. That is so fucking rich. I mean with all the stupid nick names he gives us. I’m gonna call him Fergus forever now. Fergus Crowley. Sounds like the name of a dog or something. No wonder he hid it. I’m still laughing over the damn thing.

Wheels

* * *

**Entry 128**

**Title:** Chapter 7

**By:** Carver Edlund

Maryanne Darling is a redhead. She works at Subway on the weekends and has just moved into the town of San Martin. She’s unloading the last of the boxes into her house when something catches her attention. There’s a young man at the gate, staring. He’s her next door neighbor.

“Sorry, you just remind me of my Ann. You have the same face, but she had the prettiest blond hair and she would always make me coffee before I went to work, put it in one of those Starbucks cups you could get from different countries. Best coffee I ever had. She’s gone now, ran off with some chick last year. I’m stuck with horrible coffee now.” He laughs and waves goodbye and the next morning, Maryanne shows up at his house with a cup of coffee and her hair dyed the correct blond.

He laughs again and tells his Ann that he’s glad she’s home and that she should never have run off in the first place. He kisses Ann on the cheek as he walks away and afterwards, Maryanne walks through the town, trying to get the feel for it. She meets a waiter, dumping out his trash. He waves her over, knows a new face in town when he sees one.

“Sorry, you just remind me of this girl that always used to hang out around here. Mary was her name. She would smoke a cigarette back here and I’d come out to dump the trash and she’d yell at me for disturbing her afternoon smoke. She got sent to rehab about three months ago. Drugs, you know? She was always in with the wrong crowd. Anyways, her hair was brown, but your face is just similar to hers.” He dumps his trash and goes back inside and the next afternoon, Maryanne shouts at him for disturbing her smoke with her hair dyed brown.

He yells right back to Mary about how she’s a hoodlum and should stop smoking and Mary turns her head and tells him to fuck off. He goes back inside and Maryanne tosses the cig, stamping it out with her foot. She walks back towards home and meets a woman outside sitting on the porch.

“Sorry, you just remind me of my daughter. Her name was Marian. She’d always come up and mow my lawn on Sundays. She died about three years ago. Car crash. She was on her way up here when someone hit her. She’d mow my lawn and then stick around and have soup with me and her face would light up. Kinda like yours. Her face was so similar to yours. God, I miss her. I have to hire the Jones kid down the street now and he doesn’t do half as good a job as she did.” The woman walks back inside and when Sunday comes around, Maryanne is outside, mowing the lawn with her hair dyed brown and thrown back in a ponytail.

The woman hugs her and invites Marian to have soup. Marian’s face lights up and she says it’s the best soup she’s ever had. After an hour, Maryanne leaves and goes home. She sits down the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee with a foreign city emblazoned on it. She vaguely wonders how much blond hair dye she has left.

Carver

* * *

**Entry 129**

**Title:** An analysis

**By:** Mr. Comatose

Thanks for the recommendations, Sex on Wheels. I’ll be sure to give one a try if I need to relax this week. Unfortunately, I can see now that I’ll get hooked on whatever I start, but I look forward to it anyways. I didn’t regret Star Trek so I certainly won’t regret this. Maybe a little when it’s 2 a.m. and I still haven’t gone to bed, but until then I won’t.

Carver, perhaps it’s the English midterm I have this week, but I felt like doing a much more in depth analysis of your entry. I like the way you placed the dialogue within the hands of other people within this story, showing how they had the ultimate control over the direction of the tale. And the changing names created a nice difference between when she was acting as herself or as another person. However, I felt like the story was lacking in direction. It was an interesting concept of how she fulfilled the role of everyone else’s loved ones, but I struggled to understand whether it was simply an idea, a metaphor, or a social commentary. The sentences were also very simple and needed a bit more variation to keep it interesting. Your concept was good, but it wasn’t executed as well as usual. It just felt like there was supposed to be more to it that I was missing.

Comatose

* * *

**Entry 130**

**Title:** S.O.FUCKING.S.

**By:** The Queen of Moondor

Doctor Badass, I’m in a pinch. Don’t you dare stop with the menu. Don’t you fucking dare. I haven’t asked for a lot, but I’m calling in a favor now.

Naomi called me in today during my free period which was weird enough as it was because hello, finals week. No one has time for this. But after that she called in the police. Apparently my hacking game is getting a little “too dangerous to be allowed to continue.” I told them it wasn’t me, but because I don’t have your name or anything, they can’t count it as solid proof. It’s my word against my record and it’s not good.

I let them take all my take so I can at least provide more evidence that it isn’t me, but you have to keep going to show them that it’s not me. I’m worried they’ll trace it back to you, but I can’t go to juvie. Sorry, but I can’t. Can you please help me out? I’m sorry man, I wouldn’t ask you to do this if I wasn’t in a really tight spot.

Also, I swear to God that I saw Chuck chugging three different coffees this morning. He said he’d been up for almost two days straight studying for Singer’s killer English midterm. And he’s got one for chem as well somewhere in the week too. Poor guy, I feel for him.

Moondor

* * *

**Entry 131**

**Title:** Empathy is kinda fucked up sometimes

**By:** The Rebellious One

Comatose, I tried to resist, but you’re so wrong that I can’t help but tell you why. It was a commentary on the destructive nature of empathy. At first, she has nothing but the desire, or perhaps she feels it’s necessary, to help people but it quickly becomes apparent that she’s not going to be able to continue what she’s doing. Carver’s probably a Grade-A Will Graham empath or at least his character is.

I have a friend like that. When she talks with other people, she can kinda take on other people’s emotions as if they’re her own. I don’t exactly get how. She says it’s great for when she’s helping other people (Oh my god, she is a fantastic listener), but there’s a crap ton of downside. I’ve held her through a lot of identity crises and it’s even worse when she’s talking someone down from the edge. It’s not much fun.  ~~I love you, esau, but I’m glad she doesn’t read this because your entries would cause her so much pain.~~

Rebellious

PS: Why is it that you only act like you have a soul when you’re talking to Wheels? Seriously, the last time you said thanks to me instead of thank you, you were high on Novocain. And right after that you said you were an angel of the lord and you had squirmy things called Leviathans inside of you. You were completely out of it. I love you, but you’re a brick wall.

* * *

**Entry 132**

**Title:** An End to Nerd Reign

**By:** Knife Collection

Guys, I come to this to escape school. Stop with the English nerdiness. Immediately. It’s a piece about a girl who replaces other girls who are gone. She’s trying to do something nice for them. That’s fucking it. God, why does everyone read too much into this?! GET A LIFE.

Alright, in an endeavor to stop the nerds, I’m saying we do something fun this week in the Journal. We’re gonna play a goddamn game and you’re all gonna participate. It’s easy. I write the sentence of a story. You write the next sentence. The person after you writes the sentence after that and so on. Easy. Fun. Not requiring much though.

I’ll start.

_There was a dragon that kidnapped a little girl._

Knife

* * *

**entry 133**

**title:** so maybe it’s okay?

**by:** esau’s legacy

he figured out who i am. he knows. fuck, i still can’t believe he figured it out. and it’s terrifying.

but it’s okay. it’s strangely okay. and things are working between us. they’re actually working. he’s putting on the same old damn show and saving me from myself all over again. and god i didn’t realize how much i missed it. god i missed him.

Esau

_the girl kicked the dragon in the nose and stole all of its gold, running away._

* * *

**Entry 134**

**Title:** SO MANY NEW SHIPS

**By:** Captain of The Ship

HOLY! CROBBY is coming now! This is better than fanfiction! I mean, I never thought of them working together before. They were my BROTP because of how they annoy each other all the time and then… the kiss and now I can’t see them as anything other than together! AHHHHHH cute teacher love! And they’re both single and everything so no awkward relationships to work past and by the way, Third Man, I’m not glorifying anything like that! God, you’re mean. I don’t like you. But CROBBY IS SO CUTE.

And Esau! OH MY GOD, HE’S TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH THE ANGEL THAT LIFTED HIM FROM HELL! I mean it’s obvious. Like, how the hell do I come up with a ship name for someone when I only know half the names! This is impossible I need to know more! But I bet they’re cute! I bet Angel is totally taking care of Esau right now. I bet they’re making sweet sweet love and I bet it’s beautiful and I want to know what happened! How much does Angel know about and how much is Esau willing to tell him and will that get in the way of their relationship?! I can see it now, Esau and Angel arguing over secrets and then they’ll break up because Angel can’t take it anymore and then Esau will come back and spill all his baggage and Angel will tell him he doesn’t care and they’ll kiss in the rain or something like a beautiful movie ending! Someone write stories about them! Theirs is the love I want! Eternal love! Someone pull me from Hell and put me back together right! But I mean, Esau! Like what’s going on with him and Angel?! And who is this He he keeps mentioning from when he was in Hell?! Does he know about Esau and Angel?! Is he going to try and stop them?! This is the biggest cliffhanger ever and I don’t know what to do! I need an update! You can’t leave me hanging! I need more of the story! Get back here, Esau, you beautiful creature, and tell me what’s going on! TELL ME!

I’ll stop talking about Coma on Wheels. Sorry. You guys are still cute though. And Charlie and Gilda are still cute too! Ahhhhhh, I’m gonna die, they’re adorable lesbian lovers and their love will go on forever!

And what’s the deal about Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak that I’m hearing about? Is that a new ship I have to worry about because rumor is that Lisa Braeden has the hots for Dean and I couldn’t bear it if the true love of Destiel was crushed by her! She isn’t even pretty enough for Dean! So will Destiel last of will Lisa come in?! Oh it’s all too good! Hurry up and tell me more!

_The girl met a cute boy and they rode off together on his horse._

Captain of The Ship

* * *

**Entry 135**

**Title:** Wait, aren’t we supposed to be empathetic?

**By:** Moose

Rebellious, this might seem insensitive, but I’m honestly confused. Why can’t she just not absorb people’s emotions? Most of the world doesn’t struggle with it. I mean, I’ve never even heard of this being a problem. Can’t she just… not? Mind over matter. It’s doesn’t seem like it would be that hard. Is she just being a bit oversensitive to the entire thing? Look, I’m not trying to seem rude, but I really don’t understand. It seems like she should just be able to ignore it. The rest of the world does.

And holy shit, Captain, you need to calm down. Like seriously, calm the hell down because this is ridiculous. These are actual people with actual feelings and you can’t just expect them to go along with your little fantasies. Besides, Bobby is as straight as they come. And he’s totally after Ms. Mills anyways.

Moose

_The dragon flew after the girl and set fire to the boy and the horse._

* * *

**Entry 136**

**Title:** I can do dragons

**By:** Blonde with Brains

I am so sorry to all of you stuck with midterms. There’s a free box of chocolate chip cookies in Mills’ room for anyone who wants to go grab some. I dropped them off this morning so they’re fresh and all that.

And Doctor Badass, thanks for trying to help with the Adler situation. I know it didn’t go right, but you meant well so thanks for trying. I’m slowly learning that Adler will forever be an ass. And I’ve just got to deal with him for the rest of the year and hope some parent sues his ass over student harassment. Maybe I should get mine to.

_After the girl put out the flames on the boy, they leapt off the burning horse into a series of bushes._

Blondie

* * *

**Entry 137 ~~00000~~**

**Title:** The Third Maaaaaaaaan

**By:** The ceiling is ugly Meg. Get a new ceiling.

Guys, there’s thsi theory tht there are countless parallel universes all lined up nxt to each other and evry possiblitiy is played out somewhere in these universes. So that means in a universe far far, too fucking far away, I’m an onion. There is a damn universe where Im an onion. And not just any onion. a super onion. I’d make villains cry and distract them and then the police could come arrest them while they were distracted and id be a super hero and everyone would love me.

Until I got eaten or some shit.

Then there would be a day of moruning and everyone would declare the day national onion day because of me. the super fucking onion. I want to live in that univrse so much. I mean, even if I got eaten, I was super onion and that’s what counts. Id leave a legacy of glory. Fuck yeah. God fuck yeah.

So many layers. Like an ogre. I bet my theme song would Al Star by Smash Mouth and someone would mke a movie about me and I could be the star because I was the olny onion cool enough to play me and I’d get to kiss Anna Novak.

I am a fucking all star. Get your game on, fuking onion here to save the day.

\---

Sorry. I got really high while studying for midterms and…apparently high me wants to be an onion. I’m told I sang All Star for two hours in a row.

Also Captain, there are so many things wrong with you and your writing. I’ll stick to the one I mentioned earlier and let everyone cover your insane stalkerish tendencies. You want to be broken for some reason. You want to be broken and have someone put you back together. I can’t understand why. Do you know what kind of pain that requires? You don’t know what it’s like to be broken so you don’t know how awful it is. You don’t want it. I’ve seen broken people and it’s not something anyone should want. It’s not beautiful. It’s painful. Ugh, it’s too early for your bullshit.

_The dragon landed next to them, explaining that he really only wanted his gold back._

Third Man

* * *

**Entry 138**

**Title:** Most of you people worry me

**By:** Mr. Comatose

Rebellious, I find it difficult to believe that anyone’s empathy can be that strong. After all, Will Graham is just a character. There’s no such thing as perfect empathy (And besides, she was demonstrating more sympathy than empathy.). It wasn’t a criticism on empathy, I believe it was more on the nature of conforming to other people’s wishes rather than that of your own.

And I apologize. I find myself more comfortable when speaking formally. It was how we were raised after all, you would know. You know how The Archangel is when he talks.

Third Man, are you all right?

And Captain of The Ship, neither esau nor Angel owe you anything. Please cease and desist your crazed antics because I will call it the third strike if you don’t stop. This will become a risk to the safety of both esau and Angel if this continues. Stop. This is your warning. If you don’t stop, then I will stop you.

Comatose

_The young girl was moved with compassion, but felt unable to give the gold back as he had kidnapped her._

* * *

**Entry 139**

**Title:** Friday, 8:00

**By:** Lilith

Hey, party at my house this weekend after midterms because midterms are over and why the fuck not. My parents are gone for the weekend and so are the neighbors so we can get as wild as we want. Besides, I’ve got a friend on the squad who’s supposed to be out that night so no one’s crashing this party.

Alastair’s providing the beer and the bongs and said he would give a discount on all his shit because he feels generous and it’s the end of midterms. So yay there.

Sex on Wheels, glad to know you enjoy the stories, but don’t expect them every week. Capiche? You get what you get and if you complain, never again.

And Comatose, let the kid have her “crazed antics.” It’s really fucking entertaining and watching you get riled up over it is half the fun. It doesn’t mean anything since it’s all in her head. She’s like a top. You wind her up and the let her ago and drink a beer. Seriously, relax.

Lilith

_The dragon ate the little boy because the girl wouldn’t give him his money back._

* * *

**Entry 140**

**Title:** New Vision

**By:** The Prophet

The images in my head changed. I think it’s a prediction because I recognize the people at least. It’s Principal Naomi now and she’s angry. She’s ranting and she has these papers in her hands and I can see the name Sam Winchester on them, but that’s all I can make out. And she just keeps talking to Dean Mosely about something. I don’t know what. The words didn’t filter through. But it’s obvious that something is really wrong.

Also, I am so glad to be a freshman. Thank God for no midterms. Thank God. I don’t think I could handle a midterm written by Adler.

The Prophet

_But the boy, using his sword, cut his way out of the dragon._

* * *

**Entry 141**

**Title:** Got your S.O.FUCKING.S.

**By:** Doctor Badass

Read you loud and clear, Moondor. I’ll get on it. Mills said I could borrow her computer since it’s related to the Journal. She’s actually pretty damn cool once you get to know her. I mean, she’d have to be if she’s approving a project like this. Anyways. I’ll dodge over to a library computer next week and then I’ll hack into Adler’s for a few weeks after that because he’s an ass to Blondie and then I’ll just keep jumping around so they can’t trace me. It’ll be good. Promise. We won’t let you get arrested for this. I’ll do everything in my power to help.

Hey, anyone else in for SAT too this week. A couple other are going in too. ACT next weekend. God, it’s all fucked up. But I’m still heading over to Lilith’s for sure. Dude, last time I went to one of her parties, I woke up the next morning in a tree. It was fucking awesome.

Yo, Blondie, thanks for not being too pissed. I made sure not to piss him off this week, mostly because midterms are bad enough as it is, but I’ll keep it down to hacking his computer for now.

And last but not least, here’s your menu for next week:

Monday: Chicken nuggets, specifically dinosaur shaped ones so I can make mine eat each other

Tuesday: Pasta

Wednesday: Always and forever tacos for Moondor

Thursday: BEEF Enchiladas and pie

Friday: NACHOS.

Doctor Badass

_Then the dragon keeled over and died and the girl and the boy cheered and had a shit ton of gold to show for it. Plus 300 XP._

* * *

**Entry 142**

**Title:** Midterms are driving us all crazy

**By:** Gumby Girl

And that sounds just like Chuck. The poor guy. Naomi’s teaching his English class and she loves him for some reason she expects his writing to be worthy of God himself. No wonder he’s all hyped up like that. For me, I’m just gonna pop a couple Addys and make sure that I can stay focused. It’s all about quality, not quantity. Though last time I did this, I ended up cleaning my room until 4 a.m.

Also, Comatose, are you and Rebellious cool now? Or are you passively arguing through English analysis. I have no idea. I’m so tired that I can barely see straight. God, how the fuck am I supposed to take the SAT this weekend?

And Captain, you are really damn terrifying, I hope you know. Really really damn terrifying. Please stop. Actually, please stop. It’s getting past creepy and into you need help. This is getting obsessive and it makes me uncomfortable to just read it. Please, stop. I’m with Comatose on this one.

But out of your entry came some really interesting news. So Dean and Lisa talked and Lisa told me that Dean wasn’t interested for some reason and that’s never happened before. I mean Lisa and Dean have been fuck buddies for as long as anyone can remember. Something is wrong. Is he taken or interested in someone?

Gumby

_So the boy bought a new horse and the girl, feeling her debt was paid, left him._

* * *

**Entry 143**

**Title:** I swear to god, Coma, if you eat me

**By:** The Rebellious One

Comatose, okay. Will Graham was just a comparison (God, does Wheels have you watching Hannibal now too?! Or knowing you, you might have read “Red Dragon” at one point.). If it really was pure empathy, then nothing she would feel would be unique. That’s impossible. And the comparison was flawed as Will uses it to get into people’s mindsets so he can solve murders. This person uses it to help understand other people’s problems so she can listen to them right. And everyone has this to a degree. You copy things your friends say, pick up their habits after a while. She just has a much more concentrated version.

Moose, it’s okay that you don’t understand. An overabundance of empathy doesn’t happen often. It’s more a lack of that creates the problems. But honestly, it’s like telling someone with depression to just be happy. It doesn’t work that way. She said it was like she had her hands covered in glue. She touches people and little bits of them stick with her when she pulls her hands back.

And Comatose again, no way. Empathy. She felt for those people. This was an emotionally driven reaction, not a logical reponse. It wasn’t their wills repressing her own, it was her natural instinct to help. EMPATHY, ya damn Vulcan.

And Gumby, we’re cool now. It all got worked out. He’s just a walking dictionary half the time and I haven’t quite cured him of the habit.

Rebellious

_The girl traveled far and wide, using her gold to buy armor and weapons, and making a name for herself as a brave new warrior._

* * *

**Entry 144**

**Title:** Fucking Nerds

**By:** Bite Me

I’m too tired for long sentences. Singer is cruel and gives shit midterms. But I had to tell you something.

You all are fucking nerds. Go out and get laid or something.

Bite Me

_The girl met the boy again and totally kicked his fucking ass._

* * *

**Entry 145**

**Title:** I hate my name

**By:** Knife Collection

Pamela’s… Pamela’s dead. She’s… dead. I don’t get it. I don’t understand. How can she… How can she of all people be dead? She never did anything wrong. There wasn’t a reason for this. This isn’t the part of some fucking plan! There’s no meaning behind this!

Everything happens for a reason. FUCK THAT!

This isn’t fair. This isn’t fucking fair! She’s… she was family and now she’s just gone. Fucking robbed and killed. Outside of Harvelle’s Roadhouse. She’s dead. And the people inside didn’t even know for an hour. Jo found her. Thought she was drunk at first, passed out against the back wall, but Pamela knows her limits. And then she saw the blood and Pamela’s dead because no one found her sooner. She would have lived if she’d been found earlier.

God, she’s fucking dead.

She’s fucking dead and it’s all their fault.

Knife Collection

_And then everything blew up because God decided he fucking hated the world._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Balthazar's entry is a legitimate conversation I had with someone when I was tired. That's based on me.


	10. Week 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One time I was having a rather difficult day. She pulled me out of my next class and took me to get doughnuts from the cafeteria. We sat and talked for the rest of the day. It's one of my favorite memories of this school.

**Entry 146**

**Title:** A little Bon Jovi for your morning

 **By:** Sex on Wheels

I had a great Bon Jovi song lined up for you this morning because Bon Jovi rocks on occasion and we’re halfway through the semester now, but I can’t make myself do it. It just seems kinda out of place. Sorry. You can sing Halfway There in your head, but I’m not going too.

Also, um…news update on Pamela and the situation going on there. There’s an after-school memorial for Pamela coming up this Wednesday. And her funeral is Thursday. Sounds like they’re doing an assembly on Friday, maybe next week. I don’t know, it’s all just formality anyways. She would haven’t wanted it like this. Look, even if you didn’t like her, she was a person and she didn’t deserve to die. No one deserves to die like that. No one ever does. So could you at least show up to something? Can you guys not get stoned and skip class for one day and just come and be there? It’s important because Pamela was important and it’s fucking ridiculous that she had to fucking die. It’s not fair and it’s not deserved and I’m so goddamn sick of losing people! Why the fuck does this keep happening to me and

Sorry, my brother yanked the journal away. I keep forgetting that I’m not alone here at home now. But guys, please show for Pam’s funeral or something. And don’t be jerks to the guys who are taking the news a little rougher than most. Okay?

Anyways, after that tangent, Captain of the Ship. I’ve been meaning to come and have a nice long talk with you because you certainly need it. Dear God, Captain, I’ve met a lot of assholes in my life. Don’t know why, just have. And let me tell you something, you are a Grade-A asshole. You hear me? You may think you’re being all cute with your romantic shipping and your creepy little obsession. You may think it’s innocent and it’s harmless, but you don’t get to fucking do that to REAL GODDAMN PEOPLE. We have lives. We’re not your fucking playthings and you know, you hurt people when you do that! So shut the fuck up! No one fucking cares what you think!

Sorry, I’m really pissed off this morning. This is all fucked up. I don’t think I’ve slept more than hour in the last two nights. God, I’m so fucking tired and it’s too early to deal with all the fucked up shit in the world.

Wheels

PS: Knife, I’m not going to let you kill that fun chain, even if I am in a bad mood. So here, have my contribution. Don’t say I never did anything for ya.

_Noticing his mistake, God reformed the world, leaving only gerbils and penguins alive._

* * *

**Entry 147**

**Title:** Party recap

 **By:** Gumby Girl

Okay, so…the mood at the party was real weird on Friday. I mean, it was a good party. Lilith never spares any expense on the booze or the music or anything. But, like half of the crowd knew about the incident with Pamela, but the other half didn’t because the school hadn’t really announced it. Like, the sub just said she was sick or some bullshit. And I mean, why the hell didn’t they announce it on Friday? Pam was one of our teachers! This is kinda important! I deserved to know right when it happened! But I’ll get to that later.

So anyways, the mood at the party was weird because half the crowd couldn’t get that into it and the other half was weirded out by the first half and it all just sorta felt off. Someone finally broke the news to everyone else and for the rest of the party, a lot of people just got drunk. A small group kept dancing, but it just wasn’t fun anymore, it was just like they were looking for a distraction. It was just kinda…depressing.

I think I actually heard one of the football players crying, though I think he was just lamenting the loss of her boobs. Ass.

On the other hand, I drunk myself under a table and that’s always fun, though the hangover fucking sucked. And Lilith is pretty cool for letting us all sleep over. But the party was actually relatively drama free. I mean, Dean and his crew weren’t there at all so that removed half the shit that usually goes on at a party. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jo doesn’t show up to school for the next couple of days, she was always close with Pamela. Dean was too, but I think he’s here.

But I mean, Pam was so cool and fun to be around. She was young enough that she didn’t really feel like a teacher, but like a friend. I know a lot of people felt that way about her. And she didn’t judge at all. She knew I was a partier so she offered me her phone number one day, saying that if I ever needed help, to call her. She was just so much fun and shit, I’m gonna miss her.

But uh, in other news… I heard Abaddon and Gordon got arrested after the party. They were completely trashed and were found going at it in the park. Also, I think the cops found someone in a tree a couple blocks down.

But hey if it’s one of Lilith’s parties. If you don’t leave in a cop car, then you’re not doing it right.

Also, I didn’t fail Crowley’s damn midterm! So woohoo there! I’m hallway done with that demon!

Gumby

_In the nation of Penguania lived a penguin named Josie and her greatest secret was that she was in love with a gerbil named Henry from the nation of Gerbilia._

* * *

**Entry 148**

**Title:** Flightless Birds

 **By:** The Third Man

I remember the first class I had with Pamela. She walked in in her tank top and jeans like she owned the place. Gordon Walker catcalled her, on the bloody first day of school. God, that kid has always been headed for trouble. We all sat there confused, waiting for the real teacher and then she said “Alright, I’m stuck with you idiots for the rest of the year so let’s get started. I’m not Ms. Barnes. Call me that and I’ll skin you alive. It’s Pamela.” I’m gonna miss her a lot.

Anyways, the party at Lilith’s was okay. And yeah, it was actually Meg who got stuck in the tree. Alastair hooked her and Lucifer up with the good shit and she got convinced she was a bird. She thought she was some sort of Don Quixote and wouldn’t come down until Lucifer and I taught her to fly. In the end, Lucifer climbed up with her and they sat there while he explained flight dynamics to her. I mean, he was so wasted that half of them were wrong, but it was surprisingly sweet. Never would have expected that from the dropout of the Novak family. Anyways, They let her go, but man, that girl gets arrested so often.

Loser.

Third Man

_Every day, Josie would sneak away to meet up with Henry and he would try to teach her to fly._

* * *

**Entry 149**

**Title:** Ouija Boards and Desperate Bitches

 **By:** Bite Me

Dude, you all missed the best part at the party. In my room, some of the guys from the football team found an old Ouija board in Lilith’s closet and they tried to contact Pamela on the other side and all that shit. They ended up convinced they were talking to her for an hour before whoever the fuck it was revealed herself as one of their, wait for it… One of their dead grandmothers. One of the guys started crying he was so upset and another threw the board in the pool. And it was still there when I left in the morning.

It was fucking hilarious.

And then Lisa Braedon got really REALLY fucking drunk. And Lisa’s not bad, not a bad fuck in the first place, but I mean she can hold her liquor better than a lot of guys. But man, she was fucked up last night. I haven’t met a girl that desperate in a long time. And I bet she doesn’t remember a fucking thing. That was some of the worst sex I can remember having. But it sure was rewarding.

Shit Gumby, it was a phenomenal party.

But if we’re talking about Pamela, let’s be real, the best part about her was her rack. She was a bitch and her boobs were the only redeeming part about her. And they were the goddamn motherload. Shame they’re six feet under now.

Bite Me

_But Josie was a penguin so she couldn’t. Really, she should be dead because she was always throwing herself off trees._

* * *

**Entry 150**

**Title:** Why do we have to write titles?

 **By** : Vampirate

Bite Me, brother, you really need to calm down. I get that you’re angry and that loss hurts. Hell, you’ve probably lost someone before, everyone has, but you got no right to disrespect the dead like that. I’ve only known Pam for a couple years, but she doesn’t deserve a damn thing you’re saying so calm down.

And since we’re all talking about the party, in the end, it was okay. Nothing to write home about, but fun enough. I just feel bad because it was Lilith’s first part of the year and it ended up being shit. I ended up having to take care of friends for the night when they got drunk and then the whole Pam issue got released. But I will give Lilith one thing, she can put out some good music and some good booze. She can throw a good party and anyone else would have handled it way worse when the news broke.

I like Lilith actually. Most people think I don’t, but I do. I did her a solid a couple years back and since then she’s done this old dog a lot of favors. She’s surprisingly good with the secrets and she throws a hell of a party.

Vampirate

_The only problem was that the gerbils and the penguins were at war with each other. Their love was forbidden._

* * *

**Entry 151**

**Title:** Pamela

 **By:** Mr. Comatose

Gumby, the reason they probably didn’t announce it was because it happened late. She was leaving a bar late and wasn’t discovered until much later. The police force would take a bit to get there and by the time investigation got finished (If they did it at night. I don’t know their exact methods), it would be early morning. The school probably heard that Pamela died and that was about it. They probably wanted to wait for more details or to verify what was going on.

Or maybe they just wanted to make it through the week before announcing it, let kids have the weekend to digest. It would have certainly been easier that way.

To Bite Me, you are disgusting. You’re angry, but you do nothing to fix that. How dare you trivialize Pamela to nothing more than her appearance! You are the epitome of everything I despise. You speak badly about Pam and then you do the same for Lisa Braedon. And I like Lisa. She’s surprisingly kind when you get to know her beyond the rumors. Don’t write in here again. Ever.

Pamela was always one of my favorite teachers. Her astronomy class was just an elective for me, but I know other kids had her for history as well. She taught unconventionally, which was always a treat after a long day. One time I was having a rather difficult day. She pulled me out of my next class and took me to get doughnuts from the cafeteria. We sat and talked for the rest of the day. It's one of my favorite memories of this school. She was the only one on staff to ever really take an interest in me, to ever care about me as more than a student. I’m going to mourn her loss deeply.

And I apologize in advance. My part of the story is a little more than a sentence. It’s more along the lines of a paragraph.

Coma

 _ _ _Two creatures, both alike in destiny,  
_ _On our reformed Earth, where we lay our scene,___  
From ancient death break to new life we see,  
While human blood makes earth no more unclean.  
For now the penguins and the gerbils war  
A pair of star-cross'd lovers seek to live;  
And though we do not know what they fight for  
For there is far enough land left to give.  
For Henry and Josie have sad-mark'd love,  
Forever lost because of parents' rage,  
Which seems to them not possible to move,  
Is now the lines of traffic on this stage,  
The which if you with patient eyes attend,  
What here is wrong, our hands shall strive to mend.

* * *

**Entry 152**

**Title:** Chapter 8

 **By:** Carver Edlund

The moon has tea in her garden. She tends to favor a chamomile. It calms the nerves when the sun stays out late during the summer and puts her in lazy moods for the night. The garden is peaceful, if not a little lonely, but the lilies keep her company. Though she’s not the sun, the flowers still reach for her. The moon has never been as good with the plants as the sun, but she takes care of them, makes sure to call them each by name.

The sun arrives late, flopping down in her yellow plastic lawn chair. The moon gives her a gentle kiss on the forehead as she stands up. “I’m telling you, those mortals are stupid as hell,” the sun exclaims.

“We were once that stupid,” the moon gently teases, sitting down on the ground so she can lean back against the sun’s knees. They’re always so warm, practically glowing still as she settles down for the night. “Stupid enough to believe that the moon and the sun could fall in love.”

“Well, yeah, but we made it work.” The moon laughs and the sun drinks in the sound, glowing brighter. Even now, as the moon wakes and the sun dozes, there are pleasantly content with their lot. The moon talks and the sun listens. That’s how it always is. The moon lulls the sun off to sleep with stories of the night and the sun fights to stay awake until the end. The stories always change; sometimes they’re about important things, sometimes about the stupidity of the mortals they watch over, sometimes about the sun’s eyes.

But they have only a few minutes before the moon heads off to the sky and the sun heads in to refill her coffee pot.

The sun is up all night waiting for the moon to come home. She doesn’t wander and pace the garden like the moon. She sits at the table instead, pouring herself more tea and tapping her fingers on the clouds that hover above the tabletops. She whistles birdsongs and wiggles her toes, coming up with stories to lull the moon to sleep, distracting herself. It’s winter so the moon is gone longer than usual and it always sets her on edge.

But the moon returns.

They’re running a little late, brushing only for a second, holding hands. The sun shoves an empty cup of coffee at the moon and runs off to take her position in the sky. “Good night!” she shouts, already moving for the sky.

“And good morning to you!” The moon smiles and goes to heat what’s left of the water again.

\---

Hey guys, I couldn’t bring myself to write something about Pamela. I should have. I should have written something about her, but I just can’t. It just… I can’t. I’m sorry to disappoint. Have something sweet to raise your spirits instead. I don’t usually write stuff like this but I’ve been in a weird head space since finding out about Pam and I’ve been needing to break out of it. She used to encourage me to keep writing all the time and I always appreciated that. My dad, he doesn’t care much for it.

He’s drunk all the time. ~~And gay.~~

Sorry, don’t know why I wrote that, but uh, yeah. Pam was great and I’m gonna miss her. And yeah.

Carver

_One day, Josie’s mother penguin…thing noticed a bruise on her arm from when she had tried to fly._

* * *

**Entry 153**

**Title:** Daybreak

 **By:** So Sioux Me

Hey kids,

I thought I would drop by because no one listens to me in class. This seems like the only way to actually reach you guys anymore and while I hate this thing with a passion, I’m glad I’ve got this to reach through to you now. I’m not good at this whole touchy-feely crap. We can establish that. But you know that the staff is always here for you if you’re having a rough time. It’s not just you who lost Pamela. A lot of us were good friends with her and we’re feeling this just as bad. We get what you’r going through even if you don’t want to believe it.

Counseling is also sponsoring a new event called “Daybreak.” It’s grief counseling after school on Tuesdays. You’re all invited and all that shit. And your grief doesn’t have to be about Pam, it can be about anything so just give it a shot if you need to. Bite Me, I expect your sorry ass to be there. I’m gonna chock your imbecilic comments about Pam to grief and trauma and give you a free pass this one time, but you dare say one more thing about her and I will come down and deal with you myself. But you’ve got a lot of issues, kid, and boy do you need to get some of it out. Go to Daybreak or whatever it’s called and you better fucking talk.

Also, if you’re gonna breakdown in class, please just ask to leave. Go to the counselors, go home. Hell, skip if you need to. Take care of yourselves, okay?

Pam would hate to see the way we’re all tearing ourselves up down here.

Anyways, you’re all idjits and I have to confiscate this one more time, I will post the names of a bunch of you idjits on the bulletin board. This is not the goddamn breakfast club. Not all staff is stupid and there aren’t some sappy credits that are gonna roll on a freeze frame. You’re all so goddamn idiotically obvious about this. You will get suspended and expelled if this gets found. No amount of detention will get you out of it. Seriously, would it kill ya to be a little more discreet? I’m thinking about you guys because you can bet that not everyone who finds this will get persuaded to look away like me.

So Daybreak, and y’all are idjits.

So Sioux Me

_“Where did you get that?” she asked._

* * *

**Entry 153**

**Title:** I’m with you, Vamp, these titles are stupid

 **By:** Knife Collection

Comatose, you did not. You did not just turn my efforts to get away from your English nerdiness into more English nerdiness. I give up. I fucking give up on you, man. I just fucking give up. But thanks man. I kinda needed that. Thanks for keeping it going, all of you. You’re all pretty awesome, even if I only know who half of you are outside of here.

And Bite Me, you did not fucking reduce Pam to her rack. I swear to God, if I ever figure out who you are, I’m going to fucking kill you. I don’t care who you are. I’ll hunt you down. How the fuck could you even say shit like that?! What the hell is wrong with you, you goddamn piece of shit! Pamela was a fucking saint and you can’t treat her like that! You fucking can’t! You just… You can’t.

Also, thanks to those who came out for the funeral. It was really nice. They played shit church music, but she would have appreciated the thought I think. And Dean blasted good old rock at the reception so it was okay. Shit…Shit, I thought I was gonna be okay, but I’m not. Fuck, this isn’t okay. This isn’t fucking okay. God, how could they do this to her?

* * *

**Entry 154**

**Title:** Dudes, you’re gonna love the menu this week

 **By:** Doctor Badass

Lo siento, mis compadres. Knife isn’t going to be able to finish her entry at the moment. She was uh… she just can’t. So… I’m just gonna… yeah.

Um, menu. You’ll see it later. Promise.

Doctor Badass

_Josie’s mother penguin thing so figured out that Josie was totally trying to fly and blamed the gerbils for influencing her._

* * *

**Entry 155**

**Title:** Sorry

 **By:** Blonde with Brains

I’m so sorry to all those who knew Pamela. She was wonderful. I didn’t know her that well, I only met her a couple times in passing. I was looking forward to taking her class when I got the chance. But now… I’m heartbroken that I won’t be able to ever truly know her now. I just remember I was with a friend when he heard the news. He was heartbroken. He’s been wearing down lately and this…this just destroyed him. I’m worried he’s done something stupid. But my worries are less important at the moment.

I’m sorry to you all and I hope you feel better. There’s food in Ms. Mills’s room. It can’t help, but if you all feel like hanging in there and avoiding life for awhile then there’s food. Knife, I know you’re taking this harder than a lot. I’m so sorry that you’re hurting so much. I hope you feel better and I just…I wish I could help you more.

Blondie

_Josie was forbidden from seeing Henry or any other gerbils ever again, but Josie snuck out._

* * *

**Entry 156**

**Title:** Dear Pamela

 **By:** The Rebellious One

Knife, that’s not just English nerdiness. That’s the opening sonnet to Romeo and Juliet. He kept it as a sonnet, the right stressing and everything. He changed one of the most famous sonnets to be about a penguin and a gerbil falling in love. Goddamnit. Coma, can you been any more of a fucking nerd?!

Gumby, yeah. I remember _most_ of the party. The second half, not so much, but it was weird alright. I mean, I hadn’t known until Cassie announced it and it was just…Pamela was just kinda more than a teacher and it just brought the mood down to zero.

And Knife, I hope you’re feeling better. Chamomile tea always helps me when I have a bad day. Also good music and blankets. Movies too. Blondie’s food is actually really good too so you should pick some up if you get the chance. But basically, just take care of yourself. You’re going through a rough time so just, don’t let yourself collapse. You’ll get through this, just make sure you do in once piece.

And Pamela was always such a fun person to be around. I remember one time I snuck into a club a couple cities down. This guy started harassing me and Pamela totally came out of nowhere and saved my ass. She took me home, explained to my brother that we’d been working on a project down at the school. She lectured me for it the next day, but she said to call if I ever got in trouble again. I was gonna have her class next year and now I’ll never be able to… Anyways, Pamela, I don’t know if you can read this, but I hope you’re happy up there in Heaven. I hope you are.

Rebellious

_Josie and Henry met and planned to run away together, where their parents could never find them or prevent them from being together._

* * *

**Entry 157**

**Title:** The Royal Ass is Saved

 **By:** The Queen of Moondor

I’d recognize that signature anywhere. Thanks for the save, Doctor Badass. I mean, in a week as shitty as this, you really made me smile. I needed this and I really appreciate it, man. I really do. For those of you who have no clue what I’m going on about and didn’t see the library computers this morning, Doctor Badass left a lovely message (I totally didn’t take a picture with my phone or anything), reading:

_Your menu for the week, mis compadres:_

_Monday: Pizza (Pepperoni or Cheese)_

_Tuesday: Salad Bar_

_Wednesday: Tacos as requested_

_Thursday: Burgers and pie_

_Friday: Nachos_

_You’ve got the wrong dude, Naomi. She’s not behind this as she’s got no equipment to do this. And just give me my damn nachos already. This is getting ridiculous. How many weeks is it going to take before you serve them? Everybody loves nachos and you’re just gonna piss more people off if you don’t serve them. Just saying._

-          _Doctor Badass_

You rock, Doctor Badass. Thanks for saving my bacon. I am forever indebted to you.

Also, to the rest of you guys. I’m sorry. I didn’t know Pamela for as long so I don’t have any funny stories, but she was always super nice to me. And she knew her way around Star Wars so it was always fun to have someone to talk to about it. My girlfriend just doesn’t get it most of the time. She thinks it's kinda nerdy. Please, she watches Game of Thrones religiously with me. How is that not nerdy?

Anyways, I hope you guys feel better soon. I’m sending you guys tons of hugs and stuff.

Moondor

_And they did! They ran away together and they journeyed for miles, discovering that not only gerbils and penguins had been saved, but also many other animals._

* * *

**Entry 158**

**Title:** Still though, what actually is with these titles?

 **By:** Knife Collection

Sorry about earlier, guys. It’s been a rough week. It’s been a really goddamn rough week, but I’m feeling a lot better now so I can write without completely losing it this time. I feel a lot better, for those who asked (Thanks for the concern and all that shit). I did something and it made me feel a lot better. Can’t say what, but it was good I promise and it really helped a lot. My mom is pissed as hell, but that’s the way it is with moms. They always gotta be mad about something. Or at least, that’s how my mom is. She’s always angry it feels like, no matter what I do.

_They finally made their home in the kingdom of Serpentine, where the snakes resided._

* * *

**Entry 159**

**Title:** Titles are the only form of organization in here, Knife Collection

 **By:** King of Hell

Hello once again, all you dear students. Now as a teacher I feel the obligation to once again state that the staff is always here to listen to you and your problems and blah blah blah. You guys all know what I’m talking about and if I continue, you’ll still know I don’t mean it. Anyways, that being said, my colleague did go a little overboard with the threats and really, Breakfast Club, when did you have time to watch that you old codger? But horrible references aside, you really should keep this out of sight a little more. It’ll move a little slower sure, but would you rather play the bloody price in the end. I don’t think so.

Anyways, Doctor Badass, you know the deal. Enchiladas. Try chicken this time. We’ll see what happens. The Beef was much too dry. Honestly, with the taxes we pay, why the hell can’t we have at least a little good food. We teachers deserve more than this.

But Pamela certainly didn’t deserve what she got. She deserved much more. And that I will acknowledge. And boy could she drink. I have many fond memories of staff parties with Pam. She was always good for a laugh and she was one of the only ones who could stand up to a wit like mine. Well, almost. I did win every trivia night we had.

King of Hell

_The snakes scared Josie and Henry, but their leader was rumored to possess an ancient magic that could teach Josie to fly._

* * *

**Entry 160**

**Title:** You’re all pathetic

 **By:** Hell’s Finest

Ugh, fuck it. Pamela would be fucking pissed at you guys if she could see you right now. She’d be so fucking pissed. You’re all so fucking pathetic right now, moping around here. Take a good look at yourselves and all the shit you’re pulling. She would want more for you guys first of all because Pamela was a good person. She admittedly helped me out and a lot.

And second of all, you’re destroying her memory with all the weepiness and this goddamn sadness. This is so fucking awful. Have you guys never lost someone before? You don’t get to do this to her and her memory. Yeah, you better mourn her, but you don’t let that consume what she was.

Remember her like she actually was. A badass bitch with a great rack and an awesome sense of humor. She drank like no one’s business and she died happy I bet. She died outside of her favorite bar and she had probably just spent the night with friends. Crying over her for so long isn’t gonna help you wroth shit. So man up and fucking do something other than crying.

Hell’s Finest

_So they stuck around while the serpent worked its magic over Josie, though Josie worried that the magic wasn’t working._

* * *

**Entry 161**

**Title:** Tattoo?

 **By:** Texas Ranger

Guys, did you see Jo Harvelle’s ankle?! I mean, I know it’s a weird place to look, but have you seen it? She got a tattoo! An actual tattoo, Jesus! I couldn’t tell what it is though, like a weird symbol of some sort. Maybe a zodiac sign or something. And she’s not even eighteen yet! Her birthday isn’t until the spring! How the hell did she convince anyone to do it for her? I mean, good for her for getting the tattoo if she wants it, but still.

And man, I’m sorry about Pam. I didn’t know her that well. But she was pretty damn awesome in the way that I did know her. She didn’t deserve to die like she did, but I think she’s happy up in Heaven, wherever it is.

Texas Ranger

_Still, she continued though, making an effort to train and to fly like she had always hoped._

* * *

**Entry 162**

**Title:** Aries

 **By:** Mr. Comatose

Jo’s tattoo is actually of the symbol for Aries, her astrological sign. It’s most likely her way of memorializing Pamela. Pamela, in addition to teaching, also worked as a psychic. She kept the knowledge quiet as to not call her teaching skills into question or to arouse any suspicion. However, it was a habit for her to read the signs of students she favored. Jo and Pamela were close so it was likely something that Pamela did for her often. For Jo to get a tattoo of her sign isn’t very farfetched then.

Coma

_But one day, Josie overheard a secret conversation between the Serpentine leader, Salazar, and Henry._


	11. Week 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wednesday: Hawaii Day (AKA Coconut bras everywhere. This is stupid. We’re in fucking Kansas. Shouldn’t it be Western day or something? Fuck Hawaii, we should have Clint Eastwood. Bonus points, if you can actually rock a coconut bra. Minus for the dudes who think they can.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to apologize for the long wait. A week or two after the last chapter was published, I had a close friend die and another try to take her own life. It's taken me a very long time to get in the writing head space necessary to write all the different perspectives. But here it is, so I hope it's worth the wait.

**Entry 163**

**Title:** Tis the season to be annoyed

 **By:** Sex on Wheels

Happy Almost Halloween to all you lovely souls stuck here in Lawrence with me during this agonizing Spirit Week! Time for all the little shit heads in my neighborhood to run around in costumes and demand candy from me despite the fact that I’m flat broke. Best time of the entire goddamn year. Hope you guys are in a better mood than me. Halloween has never really been my scene anyways so I might just get drunk with friends.

At least my bro has outgrown the holiday, though I’ll miss the blackmail material. Oh, the little monsters grow up so fast. I remember when he still wanted to be Superman. He ran around in his little cape and everything.

But Spirit Week. If you are like me and forget the goddamn schedule the second it’s passed out, have a free pass on me.

Monday: Pajama Day (AKA Roll out of bed and do nothing day. Bonus if girls wear lingerie. Minus if dudes wear boxers, just boxers.)

Tuesday: Disney Day (AKA Cram yourselves into those old Disney costumes you had when you were kids. If that doesn’t work, find a headband and say it’s a tiara. Dudes, find yourself a stick and say you’re a prince. Bonus points for a shield. Minus for tights.)

Wednesday: Hawaii Day (AKA Coconut bras everywhere. This is stupid. We’re in fucking Kansas. Shouldn’t it be Western day or something? Fuck Hawaii, we should have Clint Eastwood. Bonus points, if you can actually rock a coconut bra. Minus for the dudes who think they can.)

Thursday: Throwback Thursday (AKA 90s kids nostalgia. Bonus points if you can sing the song of whatever TV show your costume is vaguely inspired by. Extra bonus if you find a friend and actually do Catdog.)

Friday: Halloween (AKA Wear whatever the fuck you want, but don’t fucking wear the costumes you’re gonna to Lilith’s party. You won’t be let in if you do. Bonus points if you manage to confuse all teachers to who you are. Minus if you wear last year’s costume.)

But basically, Spirit Week is stupid and we’re all trapped in the insanity because fucking Naomi says so. Bitch doesn’t even dress up or anything. If she dresses up this year finally, it’s the Rapture.

Wheels

_“There is a very ancient magic that might be able to grant Josie the ability to fly, but it contains many risks,” Salazar hissed out._

* * *

**entry of Pamela**

**title:** understanding

 **by:** esau

Pam found me one time, out behind the dumpsters. it was a tuesday, really late and all that. i really fucking hate tuesdays. no one was supposed to be on campus, but there she was. i was puking up some nasty shit, something i didn’t know the name of. it was way back in the early days when i’d just started using and half of it was dirty shit made in the back of a garage and i didn’t fucking care. if it was good enough to get me away from reality, then it was fine by me.

she just kneeled down and said, “let’s get you cleaned up.” and the entire time, all i could do was stare at the sky because the stars looked like the eyes of mother and i was letting her down so fucking bad.

Pam was the first person not to blame me for using. the moment my friends found out (because i could never get anything past them), they got angry and pissed and told me to stop. and they didn’t fucking get it, why i used. they all have their crosses but not like mine. no one’s got one like mine. so they think they yelled at me because they got it. but they didn’t.

Pam got it.

she really did. i think she did recreational, but she would never tell me and i would never ask. it was our one taboo. so she took me to the teachers’ lounge and cleaned me up. she didn’t lecture me or anything, just cleaned off my shirt and my mouth and sent me off. ~~it felt like something my mom would have done.~~

she never mentioned it again. my dad didn’t know. my brother didn’t know. not until later.

but she did. and she never said a word.

Pam was a good person. she didn’t deserve to die. i mean, no one ever deserves to die, but her especially. she was too good for what happened to her. she was too fucking good and i don’t care about your bullshit about god needing another angel or whatever fucking shit you like to say to make yourself feel good. her death hurts and it’s underserved.

esau’s legacy

_“she could die if it goes wrong. or worse yet, she could be consumed by the magic and left as nothing but a husk.”_

* * *

**Entry 165**

**Title:** Chapter 9

 **By:** Carver Edlund

The only way that she can really describe God is “calming. He’s really calming.” When she finds herself standing in front of Him, a sense of contentment seeps into her (all the way down to her bones) and it becomes impossible to feel anything but. God’s presence is relaxation and happiness and eternal rest. And for that, she never wants to leave.

God also looks exactly like what she would imagine her eighth grade math teacher looked like, if she could remember him, so there’s that too. He’s even got a dorky tie on that has some sort of math pun on it.

“Welcome to Heaven, Gwen Campbell,” He says and His voice sounds confined within the human skin as if His words are the only thing propping the man in front of her up. There is a certain tone to His voice, wildly powerful but tranquil and soothing at the same time, some sort of paradox within itself that leaves Gwen Campbell vaguely confused and calm at the same time.

“You, uh, you don’t have to look like that…Mr. uh, God, sir,” Gwen Campbell stammers out and in response, He only raises an eyebrow in question. Wringing her hands, Gwen Campbell looks down. “Sorry, that’s stupid. You’re God and I’m just me. You can look however you want.”

“It’s easier like this, Gwen. I promise,” God reassures kindly, though he never corrects her. There’s probably no need to because a human will always be stupid in the face of God. Gwen just nods. She imagines it must be hard to argue with God when he knows everything, so she doesn’t even try and she doesn’t truly have the desire to argue with anyways. “Welcome to Heaven. It must be confusing for you at the moment. Most people often wonder why they’re here and talking to me.”

Gwen opens her mouth to respond because she knows why she’s here. She…she finds she can’t remember.

“I’m dead…but how did I die?” she asks searchingly, staring up at Him. God just nods and Gwen knows she’s fallen into the pattern of everyone else’s reactions. She’s going as God expects and she’s not sure whether that’s a good thing or not.

“You will never have to know. Heaven is true happiness. Your time on Earth is gone and now you feel nothing but the happiness of release.” God sweeps His arms out in gesture to the white magnificence around him, columns and clouds and houses and brilliant gold that lines the sky for miles beyond what Gwen can see.

“But my memories?! I had happy ones! I had a good life, I bet! A happy one. I bet there were loads of good things for me to remember! You can’t just take them away!” Gwen tries to feel annoyed, to feel something because her memories are gone and God has taken them away without any care for what she wants.

“I can. And I have. Trust me, Gwen. I only want to give you happiness. You deserve it.” Gwen feels hollow, like she wants to be something other than this state of…contented hollowness. But she can’t. So she just accepts his words because surely God wants nothing but the best for her. This is God. “And in exchange for your memories, you get one wish to make your eternal rest more pleasing.”

“Can I live again?” she asks. And God looks down at her with something akin to what she imagines is curiosity, though God’s been around for ages and ages so there might be none of that left. God’s already probably discovered anything to be curious about. She feels little more than complacent.

“You still won’t remember anything. It’s best if you stay here.”

“I don’t care. I just want to be alive again.” The weird hollow feeling swims around her chest and Gwen supposes that maybe what she’s feeling isn’t quite emotion and that God’s weird contentment is an actual thing seeping in through her skin, that if she stays here, it might find her heart and she might never feel anything but ever again.

“Are you sure?” He asks one last time. God smiles at her and it’s so kind that Gwen can’t do anything but smile back, despite the weird thing that’s rooting around in her rib cage.

“Yes.”

Gwen opens her eyes to the wooden inside of her coffin.

“Aw fuck.”

Carver

_“It’s her choice in the end, but you must warn her of the consequence. She must have full knowledge before we perform the rite.”_

* * *

**Entry 166**

**Title:** Worried Sick

 **By:** Blonde with Brains

I’m worried about my friend. He’s been acting really weird lately and he’s been hanging out with this new girl that I don’t really know. I mean, I would have thought it would be over Pamela’s death because apparently she was a family friend, but it’s been going on for longer than that. It started out a long time ago. And I’m sorry because in comparison to Pamela’s death, this seems like nothing.

But he doesn’t talk to me much now and I’m worried. He’s not acting like himself at all. He’s losing contact with everyone and he seems so tired all the time and I don’t understand. What do I do? Do I talk to him about it or something? I know he doesn’t have the best home life so it could just be something there that’s bothering him, but he never tells us what’s going on. He’s scaring me with this kinda. He just… he’s not turning in homework and he’s really smart and it’s not natural at all and it scares me.

I have a right to be worried about this, right? I’m not just freaking out over nothing.

Blondie

_“Why can’t you just tell her yourself?”_

* * *

**Entry 167**

**Title:** Saturday at 10

 **By:** Lilith

Since it’s that time of the year where all the little shit devils come out to play, reminder that the real fun starts at my place at ten and that a homemade costume is required for entry as always. My folks are out of town for the entire week so if you need somewhere to crash afterwards or even before (for all you desperate losers), the place is open. Just don’t leave your shit everywhere because it’s mine if I find it. Ask Meg if you care for an explanation. I’ve stolen enough of her crap before.

There’ll be booze and beats and bongs for everyone. Since it’s Halloween, the first round is on me, but after that, you’ll have to buy the shit from Alastair and the drinks from Dean. He promised to bartend for me this year finally so bring your best challenge. Anyone who can stump him gets a free round.

We’re also holding the Shitty Homemade Costume Contest again. Categories this year include:

Sluttiest Costume  
Best Made Costume  
Worst Made Costume (Gordon, if this is you again. I will rip your throat out)  
Most Obscure  
Most Obviously Store Bought  
Best Couple Costumes

Lilith

_“Well, I would, but I can hear her heartbeat not twenty feet away. Apparently, she’s been listening to us.”_

* * *

**Entry 168**

**Title:** Spooky, Scary Skeletons

 **By:** Mr. Comatose

You know, Wheels, Halloween is my favorite holiday. My family does tend to be a bit strict, so it was always the one day I could run about and be free on my own. Of course, my sister would tell you I was too awkward to do much running and little less than polite while asking for candy, but my sister always does like to tease me. Still, I’d save my allowance money for months just so I’d have enough to get the costume I wanted. Otherwise I’d just be given a hand-me-down from one of my brothers.

My father never liked letting us have the candy, but Mother always insisted that Halloween was the one day we could indulge just a bit. I think it was her favorite holiday too. She’d make sure we had more than enough candy to give to the kids who came to our door and then give us the rest. I try to keep the tradition going, but it's not the same with just me and my sister here.

Carver, now that is a piece of interesting literature. The way you balance the Judeo-Christian mythology with your own ideology makes for an interesting combination, one I wish you would explore more thoroughly. I feel like this isn’t quite a complete story, rather the beginning of something. You’re exploring a new world, rather than writing the entire scene. The last line does tie together the story nicely though, the loss of complacency (Clear up whether it’s physical if you do ever expand) punctuated with the curse she never would have made in the presence of God. I liked it, even if it did feel rather…unfinished.

Blondie, I’m sorry that you’re worried for your friend. It might be best to talk to him about this, rather than acting on your own to rectify the situation. You do have a right to be worried because you are his friend, but be careful because there might be reasons that you don’t know about for why he’s acting like this.

Coma

_“I’m not afraid!” Josie shouted, even though in her penguin heart she did feel the stirrings of such terrible fear._

* * *

**Entry 169**

**Title:** Abaddon is terrifying

 **By:** The Prophet

Guys I had another vision thing. Revelation? Divination? _~~Prophecy?~~_ Naw, scratch the last one, too egotistical. And though I’m in AP, I’m not that full of myself.

But anyways, it was of Abaddon. I would recognize her hair anywhere, flaming red hair, and angry eyes. Anyone should be able to recognize her by now. So she’s in the cafeteria and she’s talking to Gordon and she’s really angry. Like REALLY angry. Angrier than I’ve ever seen anyone. But it’s weird because she’s kinda not. She’s acting really calm, but she’s shouting at Gordon the entire time. It’s a really weird balance she’s got going on and all and I don’t really get it.

The Prophet

_“You should be,” Salazar hissed. “This magic has been performed once before only to be met with terrible failure. You should be very scared that it will go wrong.”_

* * *

**Entry 170**

**Title:** B is for Bi?

 **By:** Gumby Girl

I had so much I wanted to write about, but screw that! There’s other things which are more important! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! You guys aren’t going to believe me, but you have to! You guys fucking HAVE TO! I wouldn’t lie about this! I wouldn’t! Okay… I just saw Dean Winchester, Dean “I have fucked every girl in school” Winchester, kissing Castiel Novak. CASTIEL. FUCKING. NOVAK. The fuck?! Remember how Dean didn’t want to go out with anyone and he hasn’t wanted to screw anyone recently?! I bet this is the reason why! Holy shit, guys. Holy shit! This is huge! This is fucking massive! And I mean they’ve been hanging out more recently! We all saw it and now it make so much fucking sense! Holy shit! They’re together! Like they’re _together_ together! That must be it!

How the fuck did this happen?! Is Dean fucking gay?! No way! I mean, he couldn’t have faked it that well and for that long and I’ve slept with Dean (Everyone has slept with Dean so that’s hardly an accomplishment). He’s not gay. So…Bi? Bisexual? Did I do that right? Bi is the right term, right? Or is it pansexual? Fuck, what’s the difference? This is so goddamn confusing! But Dean isn’t straight! That’s for sure! Oh my fucking God!

Gumby

_“So yeah, maybe I’m scared then,” Josie threw back, crossing her flippers (arms?), “but that won’t stop me!”_

* * *

**Entry 171**

**Title:** Wow, some people are less stupid than immediately apparent. We have evolved.

 **By:** The Third Man

I’m with you, Wheels. If it wasn’t for the awesome parties, Halloween would suck. I mean, what are we gonna do next year when Lilith is gone (assuming that her criminal record doesn’t catch up with her and a college actually accepts her)? Aw damn, it’s gonna suck. No one else can ever get a hold of enough liquor.

But the only good thing about Halloween is that no one comes to my street because all the stupid kids grew up into stupid teenagers and now I get to keep all the candy my folks buy. Me and my friend sneak out onto the roof of her place at midnight the next day. We get real drunk and then eat candy and stare at the stars for All Souls. It’s nice.

Prophet, I know you think you’re a prophet kid with all your “Blindfold” visions, but things between Abaddon and Gordon have actually been pretty good. They’re not pissed at each other for once and the fucking is great from the sounds of it (and trust me, I can hear it). They’re not anywhere near the arguing that you're describing. Have you ever thought that maybe they're just dreams.

And Gumby, I’m actually fairly surprised that you knew the correct term; but yes, Dean would probably identify as bisexual. Congratulations, you have transcended stupidity and ignorance and become mildly more educated. But moving onto your information, is it really that big? We find out people are screwing all the time, especially Dean, and no one screams about it as much as you do. Is the only reason that it’s big news is that it’s with a dude? Do we really have to just scream about Dean and Cassie’s sex lives?

Furthermore (This is the part where I get angry), do you even realize what you've done?! If it turns out to be true, then you've just outed two people to a community that might not accept them! That's something that needs to be done on their terms when they're ready. Did you even think about what could happen to them beyond this relationship?! Communities aren't always so kind as our high school. Look what happened to Charlie in the beginning of the year! Most everyone accepts her now, but she still got horribly bullied for several weeks in the beginning. You've just put Dean and Cas through the same thing. It doesn't matter if it's true or not because people will believe it anyways.

Did you even think about what could happen behind closed doors at home?! Congrats, you're smart enough that you know the definitions of different sexualities, now fucking think about how you're going to use that information, because this isn't the right way. Not at all.

Look at what you have done!

Though, Cas, congrats for tapping that. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it.

Third Man

_“Josie, just remember to think it through,” Henry reminded her. “And ask yourself if it’s really worth it. Would you really be willing to give up everything you might lose if it goes wrong?”_

* * *

**Entry 172**

**Title:** If I was a rich man

 **By:** Doctor Badass

Blondie, it sounds like you might be a little jealous, eh? Don’t be worried, you sound cute so I’m sure he’ll come back to his senses soon enough. Besides, your cookies are far superior to the shit in the cafeteria here so I don’t doubt that you’ve been bribing him with food. It’s only a matter of time before he snaps back to his senses. A matter of time. Give your boy some time to get over himself and work through whatever shit he’s going through.

And Gumby, you’re fucking lying! God fucking damn it, they couldn’t have! I mean, there have been rumors around my friends but I put down a twenty that they wouldn’t get together for another two months at least. So they better not have! I have good money riding on this! This is my last bit of cash, I can’t lose it!

Damn it!

While I go mourn the loss of my cash, have your menu:

Monday: Nothing but tater tots.

Tuesday: Pasta bar.

Wednesday: Tacos.

Thursday: Goddamn chicken enchiladas. I hope that they’re burnt to chicken hell before you get them, King of Hell.

Friday: Nachos.

Dr. Badass

_“I would give anything to fly, Henry, so don’t get in my way,” Josie said before leaving with Salazar, because Josie an independent penguin and she don’t need no gerbil._

* * *

**Entry 173**

**Title:** Brother, you better beware

 **By:** Vampirate

Well Cas sure ain’t trying to deny it or anything. Brother’s got it all under his control apparently. And that’s cool and all, but shit, I think you’re all forgetting why Dean would keep this hidden. Dean has always made it pretty damn clear that he’s cool with the queer folks. He’s cool with Charlie and her gal, stood up for them and everything. Ain’t never been an issue…except when it was, but we’re not counting that.

But what’s Dean’s dad going to think?

I ain’t totally clear on the details, but wasn’t he a cop or something? Dean doesn’t talk about his dad much but when he does, it’s an awful lot of crap it sounds like. There ain’t much good in their house I don’t think. It’s not gonna go over well with his dad, I can tell right now.

Look, Dean, you and Cas got my support, but you be careful out there, brother. You’re sure gonna have to be. Don’t be afraid to ask for a place to stay if you need to. I know you’re proud, but don’t let it kill you in the end. We’d all like you a lot better alive in the end.

Vampirate

_So Salazar and her prepared for the rite. And when the moon was full, they began._

* * *

**Entry 174**

**Title:** Operation: Hide it

 **By:** Texas Ranger

John was a cop actually, a captain or something, but not anymore. I think something happened and he had to quit the force. It’s weird because he’s not old enough to retire but he is retired? And no one knows why? Dean and Sam never talk about him if they can help it so the situation probably isn’t that good. I don’t think Sam knows, but Dean might.

Anyways, he’s not afraid of violence in the slightest and I live kinda close to them so I can hear when John loses his temper. But you’re right, Vampirate, Dean’s dad is going to FLIP when he hears. We can’t let him find out. There’s no telling what he could do to Dean.

Ranger

_The snakes hissed in a language that Josie didn’t understand and a column of light sprang up from the ground._

* * *

**Entry 175**

**Title:** My girlfriend is being stupid

 **By:** Queen of Moondor

Ugh, I’m glad that Dean’s getting laid because I sure ain’t. I’m fighting with my partner and it’s just hell. We’ve been like this for the last couple weeks and I’m about ready to just end it. I love her to death. She’s kind and beautiful and there’s a list I could go into because she’s amazing, but she’s just always gone and it’s getting to be exhausting. I never see her anymore because she’s in a different year than me and she never texts back. She’s so dodgy about dates and sometimes she just doesn’t show up and it’s all getting frustrating. I want to be with her, but sometimes I don’t know…does she want to be with me?

I fucking hate being a teenager and being horny. It’s not supposed to be this hard! Why can’t a lesbian just have a good relationship for once? Eh? Why do we have to “Blue is The Warmest Color” this shit? Ugh!

And in terms of operation: hide it, we need to do this actually. There really is no telling what Dean’s dad could do to him. Seriously, I’m lucky that my parents were cool with me coming out but not everyone gets that luxury. We need to be on the safe side to make sure that nothing bad happens.

But Dean, man, I don’t think anyone’s said it yet. So congrats. You deserve a bit of happiness right now. Also, you rocked the coconut bra yesterday. Don’t think I didn’t see it. Points for you. 

Moondor

_Josie went towards it hesitantly, ignoring the calls of Henry as he raced forwards to stop her. And then she touched it._

* * *

**Entry 176**

**Title:** Fuck Dean Winchester and everything he stands For

 **By:** Bite Me

No wonder Dean stood up for that dyke at the beginning of the year! The asshole is a fucking faggot himself! I always knew there was something fucked up about the Winchesters. First, there’s that asshole of a younger brother Sam, I swear the kid’s got to be a fucking queer too, and now he’s got a cocksucker for an older brother. Didn’t your daddy tell you, Dean? All fags burn in Hell!

I swear to Jesus that if you even try to set foot in our locker room, I’ll fuck you up so bad that not even your little queer boyfriend will be able to save you! You ain’t fucking welcome here anymore so get out of town, you fag.

Bite Me

_And it all went fucking wrong. Josie was thrown back from the light column thing, DEAD._

* * *

**Entry 177**

**Title:** Look at what you’ve done

 **By:** Hell’s Finest

This whole “Let’s save Dean Winchester” thing isn’t going to work, you morons, and you know it won’t. In the end, all this is just gonna be so you can say you tried and feel better about yourself when everything goes to Hell.

Our corner of Lawrence isn’t that big. John Winchester is going to find out and then it’s just gonna be a big case of Smear the Queer because John isn’t a good man. He could really fucking kill Dean. Or he might even kick Dean out of the house. It wouldn’t be the first time something like this has happened. And you know, we’ll never know what’s happened because John takes care of things in private and Dean has a martyr complex even bigger than his ego.

This is all textbook guys. You can try and “save” him all you want, but nothing good is gonna come of this. There was a reason they were keeping it hidden and now look what you’ve done. You’ve plastered it all over the biggest gossip source in a HIGH SCHOOL. You guys say “Let’s save Dean! Oh boy this’ll be great!” but really, by talking about it and keeping it at the forefront of this damn thing, you’re just damning him that much further.

And yeah you all probably know Dean better, but has no one even thought about Castiel? Majorly religious family? Yeah, Dean’s dad will react badly, but Castiel’s family most certainly will too. The only reason you care is because this is the popular Dean Winchester. No one would give a fuck it was just Cas. You’re all fucking hypocrites.

Hell’s Finest

_Fuck you, Bite Me. I’m not having it anymore._

_Josie was thrown back from the column of light, unconscious. She didn’t stir as henry ran to her._

* * *

**Entry 178**

**Title:** She’s Leaving Home

 **By:** Rebellious

Dean, Cas, congrats on the love and the kissing and shit. And fuck the rest of you guys because you’re doing…something. I don’t know. Someone’s probably being an ass. I saw Bite Me’s name so I should probably be angry about whatever he wrote, but I honestly can’t remember what he said.

The Archangel called yesterday and I just can’t get it out of my head. He thinks I should go move in with him at the end of the semester. He thinks I’m not doing well here, that everyone is a bad influence, and that I need to leave Lawrence if I want to be the proper young lady he wants me to be again. He wants to actually take me away from my friends and my family. He wants to just take me and fucking leave so I can go to some fucking prep school up in New York.

But screw him. Screw him! He’s a fucking monster and I’m not leaving. I’m not leaving; I’m going to Lilith’s party tonight and it’s gonna be fucking awesome and he can’t stop me. He can’t fucking make me leave. I won’t let him.

I won’t fucking let him even if I have to die to stay here.

Rebellious

_“Something’s gone wrong!” Salazar hissed, slithering over to where Josie lay. “Josie?!”_

* * *

**Entry 179**

**Title:** The one in which everyone is concerning

 **By:** Knife Collection

Dean and Cas, thank you so much. I’m twenty bucks richer now. And you know, be careful. You guys know that you always have a place over with me so don’t let your pride get in the way. Vampirate actually put it quite well, “I know you’re proud, but don’t let it kill you in the end. We’d all like you a lot better alive in the end.”

So don’t be idiots and prepared to get help if need be. But you know, we all still support you over here so no worries about that. You’re good.

Also, Bite Me, I am going to bite off your fucking head if I ever see you, you understand me? Fuck off and never come back! You’re not wanted here and all you do is spread shit about people so just get out!

Hell’s Finest, I don’t know about everyone else, but I certainly care for Cas just as much as I care for Dean so don’t come in here with  all your little assumptions and start talking like they’re gospel. Yes, more people know Dean, so yes, the focus was more on Dean. But that doesn’t mean that no one cares about Cas. You know we’re here behind him too. So don’t villainize us when we’re just trying to help.

Rebellious, please tell me you’re being dramatic because I don’t care how bad it is, you do not have to take your own life. You never have to. I’m sorry, but I just have to be careful. I can’t stand to see anyone else die. Not so soon after…I just can’t watch anyone die. So please, please tell me you’re just being dramatic.

Knife

_“I’m alright,” she said, coughing as she woke up. “But why is it so dark? Where are we?”_

* * *

**Entry 180**

**Title:** Sorry

 **By:** Gumby Girl

I love looking around on Halloween because it’s like, a giant array of who can push the boundaries the farthest and get away with the sluttiest costume. I think it’s hilarious. Abso-fucking-lutely hilarious. And that’s coming from me, the proclaimed Queen of Sluts.

You know what, Bite Me? Fuck you! Fuck you and everything you write. What the hell do you even want to accomplish?! All you ever fucking do is spit bullshit so you can get attention. Is that really what you fucking want?! You want our attention?! Well, you have it now! And let me promise you one thing, if I ever find out who you are, I will take care of you personally. You are a fucking disgrace. I am so ashamed to think I was ever as close-minded as you.

Dean, Cas, I’m sorry. I really shouldn’t have outed you. I wasn’t thinking. I…I shouldn’t have written it here because now tons of people know and that probably isn’t good. You were keeping it hidden for a reason and look, it probably doesn’t mean much now, but I hope you two end up okay and I’m super sorry for what I did.

Rebellious, hope you’re doing okay too. You sounded really out of it in your entry. Take care of yourself, you hear? Whatever happens, don’t let your stupid brother (Not Coma, he’s not too bad these days) take you away. It sounds like it’s not going to be good for you, so don’t let it happen, okay? And we’d all miss you down here in the Journal. So seriously, go be your rebellious self and tell him to shove it up his ass! And besides, who else would teach me about sexuality and all the shit I still need to learn about. I heard there’s more than two genders and that’s my next mission. Third Man fucks it up too often so I need you to do it properly.

Anyways, I’m so psyched for Lilith’s party tonight! Got the best costume and I’m gonna fucking win tonight! This year, the crown for sluttiest costume will be mine! And who knows, maybe I’ll get laid tonight!

Gumby

_“Josie, we’re in the middle of the clearing. The moonlight is bright enough for everyone to see. Can’t you see us?” Henry held her flipper between his paws, concerned beyond measure for Josie._


	12. Week 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rngcug jgnr og. Oa pcog ku Dgnc Vcndqv. K’o c uqrjqpqtg. K ecp’v gzrncmp owej. Kh Cncuvckt fgeqfgu vjku, jg’nn mknn og. Jg’u chvgt rfc Lqwtpcn. Jg’u chvgt Fgcp. K fkfp’v ycpv kv vq iq vjku hct.  
> Jg’u iqv c mpkhg. K ecp’v uvqr jko.  
> K ecp’v iq vq vjg rqnkeg, vqq ocpa swguvkqpu cpf uqog qh vjg ujkv jg ocfg og fq yqwnf igv og cttguvgf. Rngcug, K’o dgiikpi hqt aqwt jgnr. Kh aqw jgnr og K ecp jgnr aqw. Rngcug, uqogqpg jgnr og.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Entry 199 contains content describing a suicide attempt. Read with caution.

**Entry 181**

**Title:** Costume Contest

 **By:** Lilith

No snappy intro by our ever masculine Sex on Wheels? Hm. Someone’s in a bad mood. I guess he was one of the few to not have fun at Lilith's party.

Anyways, party was great, but you all need to come pick up your shit. Seriously. And I’ve got the winners of the costume contest for anyone who’s bored enough to read this and too drunk to remember what actually happened on Saturday because let’s face it, almost everyone was wasted at that party. Even Castiel Novak got plastered and that’s something I have never seen. I don’t think anyone’s ever seen that, honestly. And God, he made us all look like lightweights. Where does that kid keep everything?

So here are your winners, losers that they are:

Sluttiest Costume: Lisa Braedon as the Devil. I honestly think it was all just red duct tape, but I never know with Lisa.

Best Made Costume: Charlie Bradbury as some sort of medieval person. She was going off about roleplay and some other nerdy shit so I kinda just tuned her out after awhile.

Worst Made Costume: Gordon Walker as a vampire with a pair of really stupid teeth. Didn’t even dress up besides that. What an ass.

Most Obscure: Anna Novak as Starbuck. Never knew she watched Battlestar Galactica. Not enough people do. What the frack is wrong with people? It’s a great show.

Most Obviously Store Bought: Gordon won this one too because he’s an idiot motherfucker who can’t even buy a costume right.

Best Couple Costumes: Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak as Captain James T. Kirk and Commander Spock. So much for keeping it subtle, boys, but hey you were pretty much screwed anyways as soon as gullible little Gumby put your names in here. Might as well fuck with the rest of the world while you’re at it, right? Anyways, good luck not getting beat to shit, Dean. Because you're seriously going need it.

Lilith

_“What do you think, Henry? No I can’t see you!” Josie shouted back._

* * *

**Entry 182**

**Title:** NACHOS OF DOOM

 **By:** Doctor Badass

That’s it. I’m getting my fucking nachos no matter what next week. You hear that administration?! Do you hear the sound of angry keyboard typing because that's me! That's the sound of my winning this week! That's right! This week I take no prisoners! I’m getting my nachos! Here’s your fucking menu for the week. Eat it and cry with joy for it is beautiful.

Monday: Nachos

Tuesday: Have some more Nachos

Wednesday: (Sorry, Moondor) Even more Nachos

Thursday: The Nachos never end

Friday: MOTHERFUCKING NACHOS

Doctor Badass

_“Oh fuck, she’s blind!” Salazar hissed._

* * *

**Entry 183**

**Title:** The Girl by the Golden Gate

 **By:** Prophet

You know what, you can knock my visions all you want? But they come true. You just wait! They'll all come true in one way or another, I guarantee it! And on that topic, I've got another one.

There’s this girl. I can’t really see her that well, just the stuff around her. There’s the ocean and a big red bridge in the background? I’m thinking maybe the Golden Gate Bridge down in San Francisco, but I’m not sure. I went there once when I was a kid and the bridge in my vision kinda looked like it. And I don’t know, she’s talking with someone on the phone and she’s sobbing up a storm. People are staring but she doesn’t stop. “And then she says, “I’m sorry. No, I’m okay. I’ve been living here in a youth shelter. I want to come home. Can you come get me?”

That was about all I got.

Also, uh…did something happen to Dean? He wasn’t here today and a whole bunch of people just keep mentioning him and Sam. I'm pretty sure Sam's not here too, but everyone seems to know Dean better here so...yeah?

Prophet

_“What does that mean?!” Henry pressed, looking towards the snake._

* * *

**Entry 184**

**Title:** Dean and Things

 **By:** Knife Collection

Prophet, leave Dean alone for the week. And don’t mention this ever again. Just…don’t. It’s hard enough as it is, we don’t need to point it out here too. So just let him be. He’ll be fine. He always is. Just don’t mention it.

Anyways, with that gloomy note out of the picture, I had a fantastic evening for Halloween. Got plastered, danced, sang bad karaoke, got beer spilled all over me, got hit on by Gordon (Disgusting as ever thank you very much), and didn’t have to spend the night working like last year. I’ll take getting hit on by drunk Gordon Walker over that any day. God, I hate being stuck at my job all the time, but I can’t actually leave. Family business and all that shit. Can’t just leave it all to my mom.

But Lilith’s party was great as always. The music was so loud we could hear almost a block away but most of the neighbors have learned by now to clear out around Halloween weekend. And we didn’t get crashed by the cops this year either. I remember during my sophomore year, having to call my mom at the station after I’d been picked up. Oh man, that was rough. But it was fun. Lilith always throws a great party.

Knife

_“It means that even if she gains flight, she will never be able to fly. I’m sorry, Josie.” Salazar slithered backwards, allowing the two a moment._

* * *

**entry 185**

**~~title:~~ ** ~~so it goes~~

**by:** esau’s legacy

i don’t understand exactly, but somehow things are working out. things are okay and my dad is here at home for once and he’s sober and my brother is keeping the peace with him for the most part. and i don’t know why they haven’t blown up at each other like usual, especially right now, but i’ll take it. and then there’s him and he’s an angel and… he wants to stay with me for some reason and my dad doesn’t know and it all feels right and this is everything i could want and i… i don’t understand how i got here. it can’t last forever and i know that, but i have it now and that’s absolutely terrifying. i’m so worried that i’ll mess this up somehow.

but i want it. i want this happiness and i’m not giving it up without a fight. this is mine now and i’ve lost a lot, but not this. i won’t let this be taken from me.

i’ve fucked things up for so long, done so much shit and i hardly deserve this, but somehow this happiness is mine. and i have someone to share it with which makes it all the better and he knows about everything and it’s terrifying to think that he does, but it’s okay. things are okay.

Things are okay.

I’m okay.

Esau’s Legacy

_“It’s okay,” Josie was quick to console, despite her sadness. “It’s okay. I’m a penguin; I was never made to fly anyways.”_

* * *

**Entry 186**

**Title:** HALLOWEEN, BITCHES!

 **By:** Gumby Girl

Fuck, I lost the sluttiest costume contest again! God damn it, I was so fucking close but of course Lisa fucking Braeden has to swoop in out of nowhere and win! God damn it, those boobs can’t be legal! And I mean, it was all made out of fucking duct tape. Fucking duct tape! Sorry, I was just gunning for this and Lisa Braeden won as usual. Like, great for her and yeah, I can see why she won. But goddamn, I wanted it.

And I swear, Knife, if I never see Gordon that drunk again, it’ll be too soon. You must have caught him early in the night, because when I saw him, I mean the guy was completely trashed. He tried to make out with a pole! Hell, he tried to make out with me, but that’s not too uncommon, though Abaddon wasn’t too happy. She didn’t seem happy with him at all during the party actually. If anything, I’m gonna say he’s on the outs soon, but with them, I never know. They’re always doing something stupid to each other.

There were lots of Halloween drunken hook ups and make out sessions I can only wait to see how that plays out. Dean and Cas were probs the cutest, simply because I’ve never seen Cas drunk (Holy shit can he drink!) and boy is he giggly. Dean was so fucking proud of him too, beaming and the like. They’re cute. I’ll give them that. I’m pretty sure Jo nailed Ash at one point, but I mean, they’ve been doing that for years, not anything new. Meg and Lucifer were there and I’m not sure they ever came out of the bedroom upstairs except to grab a lighter and more booze. Balthazar and Anna were dancing for most of the night (I think. Didn’t have an ear to the ground for them really.). I’m honestly just surprised they’re still together. I didn’t expect them to last after the shit that went down with Cas, but I guess they really are in it for the long haul. And baby Winchester has got game! Dude, Sam was high as a kite with this other freshman girl and I swear to god, I didn’t see him ever come up for air. Good luck keeping that one out of trouble, Dean.

It also looks like Charlie and Gilda might be broken up if Charlie’s new arm candy is anything to go by. Cute girl, dressed up like Dorothy. Didn’t see much action, but they may be playing it a bit slow or they're keeping it secret. Ah well, maybe Charlie snagged a kiss or two. Go girl!

Anyways, got a record breaking 27 trick-or-treaters at my house this year. Beat that!

Gumby

_“You’re blind, Josie. It’s not okay at all. What are you gonna do?!” Henry exclaimed, panicking._

* * *

**Entry 187**

**Title:** This one’s for you and all your sorrows

 **By:** Rebellious

Holy shit. Esau, man. Congrats! Glad to hear everything is doing okay.

I’m doing pretty damn good too. I mean not really, but no one really fucking cares. Anyways, rave culture is fucking fantastic and sometimes the smoke is so thick you can get high without even having to light up. And I mean, besides, ravers are so chill that they’ll almost always offer a hit to you even if you don't ask. These guys are the real people. They’re kinder than anyone I’ve ever met, especially the people I’m stuck with at home.

Fuck the Archangel and fuck everything. I’m done with him. I’m just gonna crawl into the next rave and live like this forever. Bouncing from joint to joint, Fireball to Malibu to Smirnoff. I’ll light up with Al and go to raves when I can scrape myself off the floor of the shack and I’ll be the fucking burnout that my family always thought I was.

That’d serve my brother right. Fuck him. He can’t save me no matter how hard he “tries.” And trust me, he doesn't try that hard. He can’t save me or Coma or any one of us. We’re too fucked up for him and he’s never going to fucking realize that and he’ll keep trying over and over. But he doesn’t fucking get it. Coma wants to major in fucking English. I want to major in art, art history. Something I enjoy. Oh, I’d love to see him realize just how bad he’s fucked our family over. He left and never came back and now he’s trying to take me away. No way. He can’t fucking have me. I’d rather kill myself. And Knife, I’m not sure whether I’m joking or not because sometimes I just don’t know. I don’t. I really couldn’t live like that. I couldn’t. Maybe I'd run or I'd crash at a friends, but I couldn't live with him.

So here’s to you, Bro! Wherever the fuck you are! Hope your life is as shit as you always feared it’d be after Mom kicked the goddamn bucket. You fucking deserve whatever you get.  ~~You’re the one we should call Lucifer.~~

Rebellious

_“I’ll get through it. I don’t know how, but I will. I’ll just get through it somehow.” Josie stood up, Henry helping her the entire way._

* * *

**Entry 188**

**Title:** Drunken adventures

 **By:** The Third Man

I will be the first to admit that Halloween was pretty damn awesome this year. I mean, Lilith’s party was...well, it was something. I can't remember half of it, so I can't give you the best picture, but oh was it fun. I think I wound up on the roof at one point or something along those lines, but hell if I know. At least I didn't sing Smash Mouth for two hours this time.

But All Souls is still my favorite, always will be. My friend’s boyfriend hooked us up with some Everclear this year so we got really drunk, blind fucking drunk and I almost fell off the roof but it was good. I really have this thing with roofs apparently. Anyways, my friend would never let me fall off. Unless she thought I deserved it, which admittedly, I usually do.

But I came to school on Monday, still half-drunk. Talked to Roman Dick and everything before I finally got hauled off to Naomi’s by Mosely.

Good times.

Gumby, why does it never surprise me to find your gossip at the forefront of this godforsaken journal? Really, it’s getting to be a bit of a nasty habit. Let someone else have a go at being the gossip girl for a week. And congratulations on not winning sluttiest costume. You kept at least a little dignity then. Let Lisa have it, she can flaunt with the red tape. You’re too high class for that. Does Lisa know about sexuality and gender? No, she’s vapid and shallow. You do. Don’t define yourself by whether you can dress like a slut or not. You’re fine just the way you are…even if you do have a lot to improve on.

Esau, glad to hear that life is turning up a bit for you. You deserve a good turn for once. Enjoy it and go relax a bit. Get high, get drunk, get fucked. Get something. You deserve to go out and have fun.

Third Man

_“You are strong, Josie,” Salazar observed, coming closer again. “I will see what my healers can do. Follow me.”_

* * *

**Entry 189**

**Title:** I am surrounded by morons

 **By:** The King of Hell

Oh, what the bloody hell are you up to now? You all need a goddamn babysitter! Honestly, don’t you realize that ANYONE can read this? ANYONE. I try to mind my own business- Really, I do- but if I have to confiscate this one more time, I will issue the last strike myself and turn this in to Naomi. You hear? Now, down to you sorry lot because God help me, you all really are a sorry lot.

Winchester, let's start with you. As usual, you have no sense of self-preservation. Honestly, it's a wonder how your genes even made it this far. Darwin is rolling in his grave as we speak. Really, shove your relationship in your homophobic father’s face. That’ll help for sure. That'll keep you alive for sure. Along with praying to Jesus and curing cancer. Yes, that’s all cured homophobia millions of times (I’m being sarcastic in case you’re two dense to realize)! Do you even realize what your father could do? Use your head and think a little.

Rebellious, why don’t you keep telling us about how much you love to get drunk and be high? That’s a great idea. Especially when you’ve got two brothers in here to keep an eye on you. And you’ve got two staff members as well. You’re not subtle so why don’t you hop a trip over to Hannah in counseling or go over to that group, whatever it’s called, Daybreak or something.

esau, you and I are going to have a long chat the second I find out who you are. You may be doing better now, but there is a lot we have to discuss.

And Badass, you know the drill. Cheese this time. It’s too bad that you got absolutely nothing this week. Honestly, I doubt you’re ever going to get your nachos at this rate. Just admit defeat and don’t get caught. Doesn’t that sound like a better option? Let Moondor get her tech back.

King of Hell

_Henry dragged his little penguin girlfriend along with him and they followed the stupid Harry Potter snake to the hospital._

* * *

And lo, I was Marked by Death and he followed me like a lover for the rest of my days. Those who followed my path were afflicted and Death greedily claimed them as his own. Those loved by Death could not be loved by another. And I knew that those around me would be swallowed, but my greedy loneliness ate my compassion and I kept the company of too many kind people, those who would follow me into the pits of Hell simply because I asked them to.

Death claimed them all.

One by one, he stole them away with his skeleton fingers, reaching out over the land when night would fall. He gathered his newfound children to his chest and took from them their lives and their dreams. He plucked their hearts from their chests and feasted with an arcane hunger. And afterwards, he would set the down, give them a scythe of their own, and watch them stumble away with empty chests and blank eyes hidden beneath college sweatshirt hoods.

Death did not visit me (Though I heard his whispers often in the darkest of nights), but in the end I had lost the most of all and Death had proven the greatest thief. I lived a life without love or dream or song for Death killed all I touched. But he could not kill me for I was Marked by him. And Death loved me, but he could not touch me, so he sent his calling cards through empty eyes and empty chests.

I accepted them all, took Death’s reapers in and cared for them, broken people that I once knew, broken people claimed by Death. But they could not be saved; their eyes had lost brightness and I didn’t know how to paint irises. I was too scared to paint with my own blood, to truly give up my life for them. Still, there was nothing left of me, too consumed in my grief and my longing to make things right. I tried until Death reached to claim me. But he could not because I was Marked and he loved to torture me too much.

So the others left instead. They understood that Death had claimed me in his unique brand and that he would follow me for the rest of my days. They knew that Death would take them again if they stayed with me. So they left.

And they called me Fallen.

Paradise Lost

* * *

**Entry 191**

**Title:** Playing Favorites

 **By:** Mr. Comatose

Prophet, do not talk to Dean. Just let him be for now. It’s been a very rough week on him with everything going on. If he wants you to know what's going on, he'll tell you, but until then, don't push. He’ll back to normal soon enough, but for now, just give him some space. Thank you. I’m sure he appreciates that you’re worried, but it's best to leave him alone.

Third Man, I never thought I would see the day where you would actually pay Gumby a compliment. I’ve never know your ire to wane so quickly. Going soft on her?

And Paradise Lost, I see you’re a fan of Milton. And a fan of his writing style. This is beside the topic, but your writing is beautiful. Sadly morbid, but beautiful. I appreciate your personification of Death a great deal. Just as with esau, I offer any help you need. It sounds like you’re going through a rough time and when you need to work through this, I’ll listen. Anyone here (minus a few asshole individuals who you've most likely already picked up on) will be happy to listen or to help.

Comatose

_“I’m afraid we cannot save your sight, Josie,” the healers explained after a long examination._

* * *

**Entry 192**

**Title:** The Boy is Back in Town

 **By:** Trickster

Well, look who’s back in town, just in time to snag this up! Little ol’ me. Promise, no more itching powder, though if you have to sneeze, that wasn't me. Kidding, of course it was me. But you guys all look like you’ve been having a grand old time. Seriously though, if the King (And you thing Sex on Wheel is egocentric? Really?) hasn’t made it clear enough, you all look like hell. Ha, get it? Cause he’s the King? Okay, moving on.

Seriously though, what the hell is going on here? The last time I was in, at least Lilith was telling stories (Which were pretty damn hilarious by the way.). Now we’ve just got anonymous angsty poetry, my drunk sister, and a steady stream of Halloween gossip. This is turning into therapy 101. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing...but it's boring. Though I will admit the little story about Josie and Henry is quite the nice touch in the comments. Very cute in a sort of Moonrise Kingdom, Wes Anderson way. But guys, where is the fun?! Where is the excitement?! You’ve lost the pizazz that made this thing a stick of dynamite!

I challenge you guys, ALL YOU GUYS (Even you, King, you egocentric bastard), to write a question that the person below you has to answers. I’ll start. And since no one has a question for me, I’ll give up something about myself for all you.

I’ve got a sweet tooth a mile wide.

Wildest fantasy?

Trickster

_But Josie began to evolve, the effects of the spell not quite worn off yet. She could see her surroundings, the shape of everyone around her, but in her mind._

* * *

**Entry 193**

**Title:** Chapter 10

 **By:** Carver Edlund

The only reason they’re still called skyscrapers is because they’re the only things left that are allowed to be taller than the trees, they're the only things left that can actually scrape the sky. Even people aren’t allowed at the canopy level anymore. Too many bad falls have left too many trees damaged (No one cares about the human casualty list when it comes to falling anymore. The numbers are too high as it is.) and people can’t afford that anymore. People need the trees.

But skyscrapers max out at around ten stories nowadays. There’s not many anyways, just corporate buildings. The trees can’t support much more than that and no one wants to risk a level collapse lie the one a couple decades ago. It killed over a thousand people, took out two whole floors of living quarters, dropped the bottom floor to the ground. Everything else is forced to be smaller because of it, more compact so the trees don’t collapse. Everything is braced against the trees now, the buildings, the people, even the floor.

No one’s been to the ground in years. The underbrush is so thick, it’s impossible to see the dirt (They say it used to be brown, but that’s just an old folk tale. Most say it’s green for the pictures of grass the original settlers brought up with them.). Then again, it’s impossible to see the sky too. Too many levels stacked up on top of each other means only the richest of the rich and the farmers actually get to see anything other than lantern light and tree trunks.

Sure, it’s better than when there had been  _overcrowding_ and  _deforestation_ but…is it really? Sometimes there are whispers that things are getting out of hand. The carefully regulated population. The carefully regulated food. The carefully regulated products.

The corporations own everything now. Way back, they’d started the original building, the colony over in the California redwoods, and had never quite relinquished their hold. Sure, “the government” came in to help, but they’d been batted aside without a second glance. They needed the corporate sponsorship and the corporate big wigs needed the approval for their new playground. It was mutual benefit…kinda.

They both knew who got the better deal, but at that point, America was willing to do anything. There was too many people, too little space. They were desperate. And desperation makes people do crazy things.

They never stop being desperate. There’s still too many people; they’re due for a culling soon. The oldest go first, followed by the “volunteers,” coerced based on the promise that their loved ones will level up. That one step closer to the sky is worth dying for apparently because people take the option every time. And then the loved ones disappear and no one is ever quite sure whether they made it up or not.

The floors are getting weaker. No one’s replaced the beams since they were built. Centuries ago. And the trees are bending, finally giving under the weight (Rumor has it, they cops are sticking bodies in there now to hide the political accidents).

They never stop being desperate.

Even the trees can’t hide that.

\---

12 girls. All at once.

Weirdest dream?

Carver

_It unfolded like blueprints, white lines building up to form the outline and contours of Henry’s face. Josie reach forward, brushing her flipper against him. She could see._

* * *

**entry 194**

**~~title:~~ ** ~~so it goes ii~~

**by:** esau’s legacy

i’m not okay. god, i’m not okay.

i lied. i lied. i lied.

i’m not okay.

i fucking lied.

esau

* * *

**Entry 195**

**Title:** STOP DROP AND ROLL, MY HEART IS ON FIRE

 **By:** Captain of The Ship

AHHHHHHHHH! DEAN AND CAS MADE IT OFFICIAL! THEY’RE TOGETHER! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! DESTIEL IS CANON! MY OTP IS CANON! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT MY OTP IS CANON AND IN REAL LIFE TOO! THIS IS AMAZING! THIS SO FUCKING AMAZING AND THEY’RE REALLY CUTE TOGETHER. HOLY SHIT! I mean, did you see their Halloween costumes?! Oh my god, they were so cute together. And they actually came as Spock and Kirk! They actually did it! Ugh, I can’t with those two. I just can’t. They’re going to kill me one of these days.

And okay, I’ll back down there because you guys have all been pretty mad about my shipping but come on! You all wanted it to happen too! You all wanted for Dean and Cas to finally get together! You won’t say anything in here because it’s “immature” and “creepy,” but I bet you talked to your friends about it and I know for sure you wanted it to happen! I’m not alone and I know it. So criticize me all you want, you hypocrites. But come on, they’ve been staring at each other for all semester and you don’t even have to be looking to notice that! They’ve been pining after each other for far too long! Look, I’m just happy they’re happy and maybe I show that differently that most, but what I do is my own form of celebration. So maybe I write in all caps. Okay, I can fix that. And I get a little overexcited. I can tone it down. And maybe real people are off limits…I’m finally starting to kinda get that one, but first of all, it’s not like I’m actively stalking these people. The only thing I’m freaking out about is the gossip that YOU GUYS supply. But these people are like stories coming together. I know that I won’t get the amazing lives that these other people have so I love to see them find love. Every day is a new chapter of a story unfolding before me, whether it be for love or heartbreak. And yeah, I like to guess what’s going to happen next and I have my favorite characters and the guys I want to end up together. It’s a story to me just like any story for you. And right now, it’s like these characters are finally realizing what they’re destined for and they’re finding their partners and if that isn’t beautiful then I don’t know what is. And I can actually get to interact with these guys. It’s like a story coming to life around me and I’m here with them. I’m talking to my favorite characters and it is amazing. So I won’t spaz out in the Journal, but I’m really fucking happy for everyone and my OTP is fucking canon so GOD BLESS DESTIEL.

Kay, I’m done. Bye.

In terms of the questions. Well, awhile ago I had this really freaky dream. I was arguing with my dad. And my dad doesn’t really argue with anyone. He’s tough, but not in that kind of way. And it was weird, but it was like it wasn’t him. He looked the same and he acted the same, but it wasn’t him. So we made up and went home (After he almost stabbed me with a fork.) I went through days of school and everyone looked the same, acted the same, was the same…but they weren’t. It was strange, but I couldn’t figure out what was going on. And it felt like nothing was real. Everyone I talked to was fake and I was just trying to figure out what was going on.

I woke up after spending two and half weeks in the dream.

Favorite ship?

And Esau, we love you on this end. Stay strong.

I’m here, Esau.

Captain

_“Oh my god, Henry. I can see you,” Josie cried, crystal tears leaking out of her beautiful blue eyes._

* * *

**Entry 196**

**Title:** Jgnr

 **By:** Oqpga cpf Ulnm Ujggvu

Rngcug jgnr og. Oa pcog ku Dgnc Vcndqv. K’o c uqrjqpqtg. K ecp’v gzrncmp owej. Kh Cncuvckt fgeqfgu vjku, jg’nn mknn og. Jg’u chvgt vjg Lqwtpcn. Jg’u chvgt Fgcp. K fkfp’v ycpv kv vq iq vjku hct.

Jg’u iqv c mpkhg. K ecp’v uvqr jko.

K ecp’v iq vq vjg rqnkeg, vqq ocpa swguvkqpu cpf uqog qh vjg ujkv jg ocfg og fq yqwnf igv og cttguvgf. Rngcug, K’o dgiikpi hqt aqwt jgnr. Kh aqw jgnr og K ecp jgnr aqw. Rngcug, uqogqpg jgnr og.

Oqpga cpf Ulnm Ujggvu

* * *

**Entry 197**

**Title:** Cryptogram? Cryptogram?!

 **By:** Queen of Moondor

Prophet, I’m right there with you. I don’t know what’s going on either. No one will tell me anything and I just…I wish I could help. I hate sitting here all the time. First with Doctor Badass, then with girlfriend, and now this. I’m not designed to be patient. I was raised on Kirk and Starbuck (Glad to find someone else out there who watches Battlestar. I always liked Helo though.) and the Doctor. I’ve got impulsiveness hardwired into me.

Speaking of the Doctor, Badass, I want my tacos back next week. They’re literally the one saving thing for this school. Have this week, but next week can I have my tacos back? And I finally got my tech back! So yay for that! Back to my regular old badass hacking self.

Captain, glad to see you’re uh…settling down. Work in progress, I know, but it’s getting there and for that, we all thank you. Seriously, we all thank you for that. And it’s not that we don’t realize that shipping is your escape, and you acknowledge that these are real people but at one point you have to draw the line. And you’ve gotten dangerously close to that line many times. And we appreciate the fact that you realize that now and that you will be stepping away from it.

And hello there, Oqpga! Is that what I think that is? Holy shit, I’m gonna have fun with this. I can’t wait to see what message you packed your little code with because it certainly won’t stand up to me. Oh, I’ve got some ideas and I’m taking a picture already so I can save this. Don’t worry, I’ll have it cracked within the week. You'll get a response.

I’m a large fan of Spirk myself, especially the Dean and Cas brand. Won’t argue with you there.

Favorite video game?

Moondor

_“What?! You can see me?!” Henry exclaimed. “How is this possible?!”_

* * *

**Entry 198**

**Title:** Shoulder blades

 **By:** Picasso

Dean’s totally nursing his shoulder. You think it’s from his dad or from some other fucking fight he got in? According to this little junior twerp Garth, the yelling from his house last night was legendary. As in they had to call the cops for noise complaint legendary. I’m guessing Daddy found out about that little angel Dean’s been fucking. Oh, don’t think I didn’t notice that, Dean. I’d recognize that imagery anywhere. You can’t hide something like that from me. And you can hide from yourself all you want, but it ain’t going to work. You’ve got to sober up and come out of your little hole sooner or later to face the world. And I’ll be here waiting when you do.

But still, I wonder if the cops found about the bruises Dean’s hiding. The fucker’s covered with them, all over his back. Have you guys ever seen Dean’s back before?

And I mean, Dean’s daddy hasn’t exactly been sober for the last week either. He got arrested on Monday (Saw the cop cars myself) but I mean, that happens every year. And Prophet, everyone is so keen on totally ignoring you, but fuck them. Everyone has lost someone. Jo lost her dad. The Novaks lost their mom. Meg lost her dad  _and_  her mom, though not in that order. And Dean just happened to lose his mother on November 2nd however many years ago. Well, it was admittedly kinda murder, but whatever. As Dean would say, “So it goes.” Him and his shitty Vonnegut.

Why don’t you go comfort him now? He’ll know exactly who sent you.

And I guess I’m just casually reminding you all that I’m still here. And I’m reading  _everything_  you say. You’ve all grown so complacent down here. Just wait until I yank the carpet out from underneath your asses. Especially you, Dean.

Especially you.

Picasso

PS: I’m a fan of the old games. A personal favorite would have to be “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream.” What do you fear?

_“It’s a disease in her blood,” the snake doctor correctly assumed. “The more she uses her new sight, the more in contaminates her blood. She’ll die eventually.”_

* * *

**Entry 199**

**Title:** Lady Bug

 **By:** Hell’s Finest

I really wasn’t supposed to see that, Lady Bug (I’m gonna call you Lady Bug. You know why.). It’s very clear I wasn’t supposed to see that and I’m really sorry I did. And I don’t apologize a lot so you should know that I really do mean it. I’m really fucking sorry.

I don’t think anyone had ever seen them before from the way you freaked out. Still sorry about it. Really. I didn’t mean to freak you out and I really should have shouted or something before I came into the locker room. And I probably shouldn’t have freaked out either, but scars like that will do that to me. And I haven’t seen ones like that for a long time.

I mean, shit, I know my way around a blade. One of my stupider choices, but yeah, I did my time. And I had a friend who used to do that to herself, you know. It probably doesn’t make you feel better, but I get it kinda. She would go to the bathroom at school and hide during lunch. It took me a year to find out where she went, what she was doing. And I tried to help her, cleaned her up and all that jazz. I thought I was helping her, doing the right thing, little ol’ savior me. She trusted me a lot. She actually did it front of me once, showed me the razor and everything. I still have nightmares about that.

And I tried to stop her, Lady Bug, but there’s only so much you can do at that point. What’s that phrase? You can lead a horse to water or some shit. She wouldn’t get help, wouldn’t tell anyone. No one else even found out until she hit the vein in her wrist.

She lived, in case you’re wondering. We got lucky.  _I_ got lucky. I came over one day when she was alone. I had to ask her a question so I walked into her room just a couple seconds after it happened.  ~~There was blood fucking everywhere.~~  She lived, in case you were wondering, claimed it was an accident. She never meant to cut that deep.  ~~Liar.~~  She wears long sleeves all the time now to hide the marks and I still can’t look at them. I’m cool with her and what she did, but I can’t look at them anymore. It just kinda pisses me off. I should have been able to do something, you know? But this isn’t about me. It never was. The only part that pertains to me is that I should have shouted when I walked into the locker room. Still sorry for that.

You’re pretty smart, Lady Bug. More than people give you credit for at least. You’re clever about this even if you are stupid for doing it in the first place. But you’ve got good control even when you’ve lost it. You won’t hit anything unless you mean to. And you can hide all your scars with your short skirts that make people think they’ve seen everything and that cover up of yours. And no one will ever even know. You’ve done a really good job at hiding for them. I don’t think anyone knows other than me and no one would ever guess you…you know.

Look, it’s obvious you’re in a lot of pain. If you need help, I’m here. You don’t have to go through shit like this alone. I promise. I’m here.

Always, Lady Bug.

Hell’s Finest

PS: I fear running out of time, dying young without having done anything worth remembering. I fear being forgotten.

What do you want most in the world?

_“How do I save her?”_


	13. Week 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know what, kudos to you Lawrence High. You got one right for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry this took so long to update. I won't give you excuses because trust me I have plenty, but I won't bore you. Before reading this chapter, I'd suggest rereading the last one. There aren't any changes or anything, just to help get back in the current issues that are going on.

**Entry 200**

**Title:** The Best Generation. Also 200! Whoo!

**By:** Sex on Wheels

Captain’s Log, Stardate 68344: I find myself at school, ready to fucking die because it’s cold as fuck and I haven’t had any coffee yet. Issuing request that Starbucks be placed on the bridge. Commander Comatose is nowhere to be seen and Admiral Crowley is being a regular ass so fuck this. For my first decree as Captain, all Mondays are outlawed. School is canceled and everyone can go back to sleep. Tell all enemy ships to come back tomorrow. We aren’t fucking here.

See you, I’m ditching for the day. I’ll have my brother drop this off or something. I don't know, I'm too sleepy to form proper coherent thought right now.

But continuing with my captainly duties before I bow out for the rest of the day, as the only captain aboard the Starship Journal, I hereby choose to ignore the ramblings of the fake Captain. Naw, kidding ya, but seriously, thanks for backing off. We all appreciate it.

And Ensign Moondor, I'm putting you on descrambling the coded message left by Oqpga last week.

Captain Wheels out.

PS: Seriously, we are never gonna be able to maintain a question chain and this epic story of gerbils and penguins. So I’ll answer and then as Captain of the Starship Journal, stop the chain.

I want my brother to escape the shitty life we have.

_“There is a penguin shaman to the north,” Salazar explained. “He might be able to cure her of her affliction. You must go quickly or it may be too late to save her.”_

* * *

**Entry 201**

**Title:** Human

**By:** Vampirate

Abaddon just practically fled our first class and it’s just bizarre seeing her so sick. Tough kickass Abaddon having to run to the bathroom because she’s puking her guts out. It’s almost like she’s… _human_ or something. I don’t have a problem with the little spitfire, no way, but it’s hard to see her as a demon when she’s so sick right now. Sister, hope you feel better. Lawrence High is sadly missing your reign of terror.

Picasso, why don’t you go crawl back into whatever portal from Hell you crawled out of? Leave Deano be. It’s obvious he’s got enough on his plate already without your sorry ass coming in to make it worse. And besides, Deano’s got a hornets’ nest behind him. Kick it too much and you very well might just get stung.

Vampirate

_“I’ll go find him and bring him back here. He’ll fix Josie for sure.”_

* * *

**Entry 202**

**Title:** Lilith Goes Camping

**By:** Lilith

Welcome back to Story Time with Lilith.

When I was eight, my dad decided he wanted to “connect” with me more. It was most likely to appease my overbearing mother, but I couldn’t hold it against him. He could never say no to her, even when she proposed and he wasn’t in love with her. But this is not their story, it is mine. When I was eight, my father decided that he and I would go away for a week and camp.

I didn’t like camping.

And it was lovely in the sort of way that people find nature lovely. I found it mostly dirty. I would have preferred to stay at home and watch Calcifer catch the pigeons, but I went with my father anyway. I didn’t have much of a choice at that time anyways. My father did his best even if it wasn’t every good. The food burned and we forgot sunscreen and mosquitos got inside the tent. I was pretty much fine, but my poor father was burned and eaten alive.

He didn’t want to be there and I didn’t want to be there, but we stayed anyways to appease my mother. She really is an overbearing monster, even on her best days.

On the third day of our trip, my father decided that we couldn’t spend any more time hanging around the camp doing nothing, so we took a hike. My father’s not much of an outdoors man. He prefers treadmills to hiking, but he tried. My father’s also not much of a navigator.

Within a half hour, we lost the trail. We stumbled along for another couple hours, slowly getting more and more lost. It was getting late and it was obvious that my dad was getting distressed because we hadn’t found our way back yet. My overbearing monster mother would have his head and then somehow she’d have mine too. She’s that sort of person.

Night fell and we were still lost. My dad decided rather than staying outside, we should try to find our way back in the dark, so we continued hiking.

Then we found the dead body.

Turns out someone was running a drug circle of some sort out in the woods and we’d stumbled on one of the guys who had crossed them.

My dad called the rangers and they came and saved us. Turns out we had actually almost found our way back to the trail. The police came and collected the body and our statements. They closed down the park for the day, booting people out so they could conduct a manhunt for the rest of the junkies in the forest.

My dad took us home and my overbearing monster mother yelled at us.

I got put in therapy.

Lilith

_“I’m going too!” Josie said, stepping forward. She could see after all so why would she wait behind?_

* * *

**Entry** **203**

**Title:** People require my appreciation

**By:** The Rebellious One

Poor Abaddon. Honestly, why doesn’t she just go home? I mean, I get she’s fine other than the puking, but still, she must feel awful, and the puking is grossing out a bunch of my friends who have weak stomachs. No offense to her or anything, but wouldn’t it be better if she just went home? But I have to say, I agree with you, Vamp. Normally we all bitch about Lilith and Abaddon and Meg and the crazy shit they’re doing and what they’re saying, but when they’re not acting like usual, it’s weird. It’s like there’s this weird void.

Lilith, your stories are the same as always, disturbing and entertaining. Though I will admit that I’d never heard that one before; and I’ve heard pretty much all of them. Always nice to hear new material and when you grow up with the same friends, that’s rare. Though wow, dead bodies. Yikes. Why don’t I remember hearing about this? Sure explains why you are the way you are. It’s like you were practically raised on freaking people out.

And Picasso, fuck off. Haven't you already caused enough trouble for us? Why are you still even here? No one wants you to be!

Rebellious

_“I don’t care if I get hurt. I wanted adventure, I wanted to fly, and this is the closest I’ll ever get to it!”_

* * *

**Entry 204**

**Title:** Calling All Lifeboats

**By:** Blonde with Brains

I found out why my friend has been doing so badly. I think I’m gonna be sick, physically sick to my stomach. I…I don’t know how to fix this. I’m not even sure he wants me to fix this. Can you help someone who doesn’t want help? Am I even allowed to do that?

Badass, what do I do? I don’t know how to help him! I don’t…I don’t know what to do, but he needs me to help him. He’s not doing well, Badass. He thinks he’s okay, but he’s not. he doesn’t really how badly he’s doing. He needs my help.

Does that make me a good person for trying to help or a bad person for ignoring what he wants?

Blondie

_“Well I care if you get hurt!” Henry told her, taking her flippers into his gerbil paws. “I want to make sure you’re safe.”_

* * *

**Entry 205**

**Title:** Chinju Kŏmmu

**By:** The Prophet

I saw knives, knives everywhere. They were in the hallway of the 600 building at school and in this black car and at this bar, I think. At least I think it was a bar because there were all these bottles of liquor everywhere. There are knives and this blonde girl and they’re around her, but she doesn’t have one and I think that’s important. And she might be bleeding? I don’t know. I saw red, but it didn’t seem like it was exactly on her.

This one seemed a lot more jumbled up than usual. I’ve been straining to see things a lot more than usual. I wonder if it’s starting to take its toll. Things are so much less clear now than they have been. I’ve been getting a lot more colors than anything.

The Prophet

_“It’ll be better if I come with you. I can still see and it’ll save time if I’m there to meet the shaman with you.”_

* * *

**Entry 206**

**Title:** Fucked Up Chicks

**By:** Picasso

What if Abaddon’s actually pregnant and this is the way we all find out, by all her puking and shit? Wouldn’t that be fucking hilarious? Can you imagine? Yo, Prophet, what do your freak visions say about that? Is there anything actually useful in that head of yours?

And Lilith, you are one fucked up chick. I appreciate that in a girl. Dead bodies, you don’t see enough of those in stories nowadays. Everything is way too "politically correct." Nobody's brave enough to trample on some toes anymore. Fuck that. 

And since you can’t really leave one out. Meg, your tits are fabulous.

Picasso

* * *

**Entry 207**

**Title:** Listen Up!

**By:** Gumby

Abaddon is not pregnant. Honestly. Where the hell are you even getting this information? I would know if she was pregnant because I have a locker close to hers for gym. There’s been nothing of the sort. Look at me, doing the right thing for once, dispelling a rumor rather than starting it. You see that, Third Man? I can actually do some good! God, I'm not an idiot, you pretentious bastard.

Now Blondie, you try and help him. If you don’t you’re gonna feel awful about it for the rest of your life. Seriously, I know from experience. At least try. It might not go exactly the way you want it to, but you’ve got to try otherwise you’re gonna regret it. Go and fucking get it, girl! You’ve got this.

Picasso, you're a bastard. Rebellious was right, why the fuck don't you just leave and get along with your miserable existence. You don't even deserve the name. Honestly, Picasso was an amazing artist and his works revolutionized the way we view modern art today! And that's not even mentioning the amazing activism work he did with his famous "Guernica," bringing attention to Franco like that when most people forgot the civil war was even going on! You're putting shame to his name!

Also, did anyone hear that Mr. Adler is leaving at the end of the year? Because I can’t wait for that. I heard he’s moving to New Jersey or something. FINALLY. After all the shit he’s pulled this year: being mean to all the freshman, mocking and shouting at his students, and just being a general ass. Praise Jesus, this is the best new I’ve gotten all week.

Gumby

_So both Josie and Henry set out to the north to find the mysterious penguin shaman. It began to get colder which was perfectly fine for Josie since she was a penguin and all, but Henry’s fur couldn’t protect him._

* * *

**Entry 208**

**Title:** Chapter 11

**By:** Carver Edlund

I’m trying something a little different this week. I just…someone said I need to expand my horizons so don’t kill me for this; I’m just trying out a new style.

\---

It was a Saturday in May, warm so that we had to keep the windows open because she didn’t have air conditioning, just a beat up old fan that rattled as it spun. We lounged on her bed for a little bit, laughing about old Sailor Moon cartoons, and I didn’t tell her but I was just a tad scared that the fan would come loose and fall on us.

Her parents weren’t supposed to be home, but they were, chatting downstairs as they watched an episode of Fringe. Her mother had gotten sick so her folks had stayed home for the weekend instead of going out like they’d planned.

It was beautiful in its awkwardness, tender in the way that a movie or a porno can never quite capture. Let me tell you from experience that that’s all choreographed bullshit. Reality is a lot more fumbling to make sure the music is high enough so her parents can’t hear and trying to make sure everything feels good and shushing each other because the windows are open and her neighbors are nosy.

When she first pulled off her shorts, she kneed me in the face and spent five minutes trying to apologize for it. I didn’t mind much, it was my fault really for being that close, but she did. I found it adorable more than anything, but she was so nervous already that it took another three minutes to calm her down.

She’d bought this bra from Victoria’s Secret, all lacy white that made her look younger than she actually was. It made me feel like a kid looking at their crush all over again, seeing her in that perfect light and that white bra. She moved my hands for me because I was a little too frozen, helped me take it off when I couldn’t quite figure out the clasp.

I never told her, but I never really liked the bra. It made her look younger than she actually was, more like a child.

We ended up fucking on the floor so her parents couldn’t hear the squeak of her old mattress against the thrust of her hips. We tore up her bed, threw down her pillows and her blankets onto the floor to make the hardwood under the carpet more forgiving against my back. And oh, how I needed those pillows.

Her iPhone played Christina Perri songs on repeat to mask the sounds and sometimes I’d catch her mouthing the words to the song. I laughed when I caught her one time and the blush spread all the way to the tips of her shoulders. She smacked me when I teased her about it, but I couldn’t find it in me to fight back.

On the drive home (After all the awkward ‘hello’s and ‘goodbye’s to the parents and ‘does my hair look okay’s to her), the car was empty save the sound of the one Christina Perri song I owned set to repeat. The family in front of me had one of those minivans with the flip down TV screens so I watched Loony Toons when I was behind them at the red light. The car next to me had the bass turned up way too high. It rattled through the car and set my teeth on edge.

It was a lonely drive home.

When I got home, I took everything off my bed, threw my pillows and blankets on the floor. I slept there, back aching against the carpet in my room. And it reminded me of her.

Carver

_“We need to move quickly,” Josie realized as she saw Henry shivering. Everything moved behind her eyes, blueprints unfolding as Henry shivered next to her._

* * *

**Entry 209**

**Title:** FUCK THE KING

**By:** Dr. Badass

NOT A SINGLE NACHO THIS WEEK. FINE. I GET THE MESSAGE, SCHOOL. I’LL MAKE MY OWN FUCKING NACHOS.

They’re still going in the menu though in protest of your LACK OF TASTE. And King of Hell, have your fucking enchiladas this week. Fuck you man. You’re an ass. How’d you even get this job? _Why’d_ you even get this job? It sounds like you hate kids. Hate to break it to you, but that’s most of what teaching is, dealing with kids.

Blondie, you help him. Do you hear me? If you can, you help him. If you really care about him, which I have no doubt you do because let’s be real, the only person you could hate is Adler who deserves it, then you help him. He may not appreciate it at first, some people are like that even when you’re doing it for their own good, but he will later. And if you feel he really does need the help then you’re probably doing the right thing. Trust your gut.

Here’s Your Menu:

Monday: Burgers

Tuesday: Pizza

Wednesday: Tacos

Thursday: Fucking enchiladas. I hope you burn in hell, King.

Friday: Nachos to the end of time

Badass

_“I’ll be fine,” Henry insisted, forging forwards like the badass gerbil he was. “We don’t have time to get me more protection. Let’s just keep going forward.”_

* * *

**Entry 210**

**Title:** I liked cryptograms before it was cool

**By:** Queen of Moondor

O LHXW DEZ IEZW XYW AIHXL, QHIX. O’II CJXD HYALDTJHW JEE, BZCJ GEL CXGHJD. DEZLC FXC X QOJ HXCOHL, CE O JKEZPKJ O’W PEJ X QOJ KHXMOHL EY HYALDTJOEY IHMHI. XIXCJXOL FOII UYEF O UYEF, QZJ KH WEHCY’J UYEF FKXJ FH’LH CXDOYP. O’S AKXLIOH QLXWQZLD. KEF AXY O KHIT? DEZ WEY’J FXYJ JKH TEIOAH, QZJ O GOYXIID PEJ SD JHAK QXAU CE OG DEZ FXYJ CESH KXAUOYP WEYH, FH’LH PEIWHY. FKXJ WE DEZ FXYJ SH JE WE?

Carver, there was something sweet about that, you know? You’re right, porn really can’t get it right and you don’t see it often written from a point of view like that. Everyone’s always expected to be experienced and stuff. It’s nice. I liked it, made me nostalgic for the first girl I ever dated. She had this old record player and would blast Coldplay from them like a hipster. I haven’t thought about her in a while.

And Gumby, I'm impressed. You never struck me as the artsy type.

Moondor

_Along the way, they met a snake named Larry that lived out in the snow, protecting itself with furs. It graciously gave them furs in exchange for permission to come along with them._

* * *

**Entry 211**

**Title:** Fuck Titles, Man

**By:** Hell’s Finest

Dude, Winchester, I’m sensing some trouble in paradise with your brother. He and one of his friends had this huge shouting match. And I’m not saying it was about him doing drugs, but that’s exactly what it was about.

And please, Gumby. After all the time that Gordon and Abaddon have been fucking each other, there’s bound to have been at least one breakage in there. Trust me, you can’t dispel the idea just because you trust the condoms you get fucked with, because I certainly don’t trust the ones I get fucked with. And I certainly trust the ones that Abaddon gets fucked with, you know how cheap Gordon is. And Picasso? Really? Wow, look who's got a little depth to her 2D attitude. Did you look that up on the internet?

Also, is there a reason I keep seeing “I’m here, Esau” written everywhere? I don’t have an issue with our local angst. Trust me, sometimes it’s nice to see that I’m not the only motherfucker messed up around here, but what’s going on?

I have two questions about this story by the way. One, where the fuck did Larry get those furs? And two, why the fuck is the snake named Larry?

Hell’s Finest

_With Larry the badly named snake in tow, the trio made their way to Mt. Doooooooo, the home of the shaman penguin, Magnus._

* * *

**Entry 212**

**Title:** The Levels of Nerdery are Astounding

**By:** Commander Comatose

Commander Comatose? Really? Even I, as dorky and unsocial as I am, can tell this is encroaching on high levels of nerdery. However, Captain, as I am only a Commander, I have no right to question your judgement. And as your Commander I can only hope that you have returned to your duties.

Carver, there was something special about that piece. It feels hard to critique it for grammar issues as I get too distracted by the emotions every time I read it. So I’ll just say, the sentiment behind the piece is lovely. It feels like you got where you were aiming for with the piece. Please return to this point of view again.

Comatose

_Mt. Doooooooo was frozen with ice and all three of the companions were unable to summit it. “Surely the only way up would be through flight!” Josie exclaimed, looking towards the pass they had been reaching for._

* * *

**Entry 213**

**Title:** Cuties

**By:** Knife Collection

Finally, send Adler the fuck away from here! I fucking hate that guy. He’s an ass and all the teachers hate him too. I honestly hope he got fired because he deserves it. He’s such an ass.

Carver, that was unusually sweet. Seriously, man, I’m used to the weird sci-fi shit with robots drowning people and dystopian tree societies. This was a nice change of pace, especially after Prophet’s weird ass vision. Feeling pretty nervous over here after reading it. Anyways, I wonder who the lucky gal is that got featured in this, though I can’t imagine what it must have been like kneeing you in the face!

And Comatose, I’m sorry but I can’t help but sympathize with (Can’t believe I’m saying this) Captain when you and Wheels flirt across the page so shamelessly. It’s hard not to see where she’s coming from when you are literally making eyes at each other in writing. I don’t even know how that’s possible, but you two do it.

Knife

_“That’s exactly what is required to reach my home,” said a penguin, swooping down through the air to land in front of them. “I am the Shaman Magnus, why are you here, seeking my help?”_

* * *

**entry to something. i’m not sure what yet.**

**title:** when the levee breaks

**by:** esau’s legacy

i figured it out, this damn peace that my brother’s been keeping with my dad. i should have known that something was wrong when he and my dad stopped arguing. i should have fucking known. they never stop and they’ve been quiet for a few weeks now and that isn’t a good sign because my brother usually starts it and god damn it! damn it all to fucking hell!

he had to go to Alastair of all people. Alastair! fuck them both! i’ve warned him so many times and now he’s shooting up like some fucking junkie and some freshman bitch has gotten him hooked on the shit and there’s only one person who still deals around here and he’s given me two scars on my back and he’s going to eat my brother alive. that fucker, i’ll kill him.

what the fuck did I do wrong?! where the fuck did I go wrong? I mean, I practically raised the kid and he’s just… shit, I fucked up. after all, he’s just taking after me. this fucked up family and all our crap issues. dad is gone half the time and it’s just a matter of time before he leaves again and i can’t even tell him about my brother. he’ll just kick him or kick him out and that can’t happen. i can’t let that happen. shit.

my brother is gonna implode and i can’t watch this happen. fuck. fucking fucking fuck. i can’t believe this. i can’t fucking believe this. after everything he has to go do this. fucking this. goddamn it. i can’t tell who wants the morphine more right now, him or me.

esau’s legacy

* * *

**Entry 215**

**Title:** Everyone is Okay

**By:** Gumby Girl

Okay, you know what. I happen to like art and art classes so step off. I like Picasso (the painter) and I certainly hate Picasso (the asshole) so let me be pissed at him. This was not an invitation for an attack from the rest of you on my obviously amazing intellect. And yes, I had to google some of the facts on Guernica to make sure I had them correct, but I'm allowed to have opinions and I happen to like Picasso. So fuck you, let me have art. I don't need your bullshit.

So maybe you’re right, Hell’s Finest. I mean, with the way that Abaddon and Gordon have been fucking, there’s bound to have been a slippage or two. It’s possible. It’s really fucking possible. But I don’t believe it. Abaddon is careful. She wouldn’t let herself get knocked up by some prick like Gordon. So yeah, it’s possible, but I really fucking doubt it.

Also, why the fuck are people writing in weird coded messages? I feel really left out and if there is one thing that does not suit me, it is not knowing things! Fuck this, I’m using an internet decoder or something. There’s gotta be a way to solve this.

Rebellious, how you doing? You usually give us an update or something, but I haven’t heard anything from you this week. I learned more about genders this week. Cool stuff. Look, I know life sucks for you right now. High school sucks for most people, me included. Like really, high school is shit. But you’ll get through it. Just a year or two more and then you’re off to college. Don’t take any of that stay at home bullshit. You just need to hold on and I know it seems like a long time to hold on, but you can do it. Just get yourself through this and don’t do anything stupid.

And Carver, why can’t all men be like you? For real, half the dudes I sleep with are like, done and gone. It’s such bullshit. I wish I had a guy like you who would make me laugh during sex and build blanket nests on the ground with me just so my parents (if they even fucking cared) wouldn’t hear. You sound like a sweet guy.

Esau, man, woah. Calm down. You’re okay. You’re okay. And you didn’t do anything wrong. You never should have had to raise your brother and your father sounds like a fucking asshole. But if your relationship is good with your bro, you can fix things with him. Talk to him or something. Hide shit from your dad, it sounds like you’re used to it. Like, man, calm down. You can get through this. We know you can, so just…you’re okay.

Gumby

_“Josie has a blood infection or something!” Henry shouted. “We were trying to give her the ability to fly but it went wrong and she went blind…kinda.”_

* * *

**By:** Paradise Lost

I fucked up so bad, guys. I fucked up so bad and I don’t know how to fix it. I mean, I’ve fucked up before (I’m always just fcuking up everything and I don’t know how to fix it!) Everyone wants me gone and I want to be gone too. I don’t want to die, but I want to disappear and never come back. I want everything to be over. Not in a death-is-final way, more of an I’m-not-here-and-I-never-have-to-come-back way. I’m ready to just be done and have everything be over with, guys. I have so much I want to do, but it’s not worth it if I’m stuck inthis fucking hellhole of a town forever. I’ll be unhappy here if they try and keep me so I can’t stay anymore. I just want to leave and never come back ever. So I’m going to. I’m going to leave and I’ll find my way out no matter what it takes. I can’t stand being here anymore. I hate it. I hate having to stay here and pretend that everything is okay, going through day after fucking day with that same stupid smile plastered on my face. It’s not okay. Nothing is okay. I have to go home and deal with my life there and then come back and say everything is fine when it’s not and I just want ot be okay again. God, my life sucks at home. Here, I have friends, I have my boyfriend, I have actual people who _actually_ care about me, but I don’t have that at home. I don’t have anything I need at home. I have to get out.

I wanted things to be different. I want things to be perfect and go back to the way they were before my mom died (my borthers say it was nice) and before everything went to hell. I want so many things. I want to publish a book and go to college and get a tattoo and party with my friends and be content here with my family and my boyfriend. But I can’t be. Not anymore. I can’t do any of that here. I need to get out and go someplace. I need to go where I’m not so constantly trapped. This place is killing me.

This place is killing me and I’m not going to die here. If I die, then it’s on my own terms.

I’m sorry.

I’m leaving.

And esau, good luck with him.

Paradise Lost

* * *

**Entry 217**

**Title:** Calling it

**By:** Texas Ranger

Holy shit, do you think Abaddon is really pregnant? I mean, I get that it’s only a possibility, but I’ve seen morning sickness before and this is definitely morning sickness. With how sick she’s been lately and with her refusing to go home otherwise. I mean, she’s not really been sick other than the puking so I’m gonna say morning sickness.

She’s pregnant. I’m calling it.

Esau, I think this is the point where you go to the counselors or the teachers or Daybreak. You can’t do this all by yourself and you know it, bro. You’re scared of your dad. It’s okay. You can fix it. If you’re who I think you are, then you can stay at my place like you used to. My folks always loved you and you know where the key is. You can get through this, man. So don’t freak out. We got you.

And Paradise, it's the same thing. We're here for you so don't do anything drastic. We're here.

Texas Ranger

_“Ah, the snakes have been attempting my spells again,” Magnus said fondly. “Allow me to undo what has been done to you.”_

* * *

**Entry 218**

**Title:** Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

**By:** The Third Man

Ranger, we were doing so well. I never even expected that you’d be the one to spoil the whole game. I mean we even had GUMBY of all people dispelling the idea, removing the rumor, and then you had to go and blow it up again. And I got what you were saying with the “I’m not saying it’s true, but I think it is,” but you know how people are. I mean, there’s three harpies behind me in class who are just eating up the rumor. It doesn’t matter whether Abaddon is pregnant or not now because people will believe she is either way.

This is exactly what happened with Dean and Cas. I thought we’d covered this.

And I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually agree with Gumby. Just because she loves gossip doesn't mean she can't love Picasso too. And the sentiment in her entry was the important part, fucking with Picasso (the asshole). Stop trying to undermine that because that's what's really important. Dear God, what has my life come to? I'm actually agreeing with you, Gumby.

Carver, I think my favorite part about your story is that everyone automatically assumed that it was true. It was sweet and all, but I’m too busy laughing at all the girls singing their praises over you and how sweet you are. This is fucking hilarious. You have to tell us, true story or fantasy?

Esau, Paradise, take Ranger’s advice. You can’t do it alone and you know that all of us would help you out. I think even Lilith might be moved to some rare compassion. Seriously, don’t kill yourself over this.

And Hell’s Finest, I think someone started a movement…about Esau. People are just writing “I’m here, Esau” across every surface they can find. I’ve seen it on white boards, desks, walls, someone even chalked it in on the sidewalk. It’s fucking everywhere. And I’m seeing a couple of deep dark secrets written up along with the signature. I think it’s just people showing support for what the dude is going through. Those who aren’t writing in the Journal are getting the chance to show their support for Esau, albeit without really coming forward to admit who they are.

You know what, kudos to you Lawrence High. You got one right for once.

Third Man

_“There is only one consequence, Josie. If I restore your eyesight, then you will never be able to fly, but if you were to remain like this, I could advance the effects and allow you to fly. Which would you choose?”_

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is landofrunawayangels.tumblr.com. If you'd like to drop me a line, leave your guesses there, just talk about this, I'd be more than happy to entertain you.


End file.
